Masturbating Spark Plug Guy Is Giving Politics One More Try

[FAPTurbo]

Jordan Haskins is not going quietly into the night. After some soul-searching, the Saginaw native busted multiple times for breaking into government vehicles and masturbating inside them is re-entering the race to fill a state House seat.

 

Haskins, a 24-year-old Republican, entered the race to become a Michigan state representative to fill a state seat, but his arrest record for numerous "cranking" incidents came to the surface immediately after he put his name in the hat. Let's revisit what cranking is:

 

"Jordan would remove the spark plug wires and sit in the car and masturbate while the motor was sparking and making noises," the police report states.

 

Haskins was charged with additional misdemeanor offenses related to a third incident at the mosquito control property in October 2010.

 

According to that incident report, Haskins again said that he damaged county vehicles by pulling spark plug wires to "masturbate while cranking the engine." Deputies said he told them the act is a sexual fetish he learned about online.

 

More at Jalopnik Detroit

Edited August 12, 2014 by FAPTurbo

[Drew Dowdell]

Running on a "Family Values" platform most likely

[ocnblu]

Best way to control your mosquito is to beat the heck out of it as often as possible.

[ocnblu]

Hey, he's in Michigan and he shows a dedication to the auto industry.  He gets my vote.

[David]

ROFLMAO! Cannot be worse than the morons we currently have.

[A Horse With No Name]

ROFLMAO! Cannot be worse than the morons we currently have.

Lewis black once said something to the effect that if politicians got any worse we would be voting for plants and rocks. Good to see that we are progressing nicely towards that goal.

Meanwhile, let's hope he picks a Powerstroke as his next vehicle.

[David]

 

ROFLMAO! Cannot be worse than the morons we currently have.

Lewis black once said something to the effect that if politicians got any worse we would be voting for plants and rocks. Good to see that we are progressing nicely towards that goal.

Meanwhile, let's hope he picks a Powerstroke as his next vehicle.

 

Why, what is so wrong with a Cummins or DuraMax?

[A Horse With No Name]

Nothing so long as you install a stroker kit for optimal results.

[Drew Dowdell]

The guy gets off on spark plugs and you guys are suggesting diesels? Or is that the point?

[Z-06]

24 going on 12.

[ocnblu]

"going on 12"?  I would say he was going on 4, 4 1/2.  A 12 is hard to come by.

[A Horse With No Name]

"going on 12"?  I would say he was going on 4, 4 1/2.  A 12 is hard to come by.

On the contrary, more like coming with raher than going on four and a half. In all seriousness, given the nature of things, I am sure that he will be a future senator.