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Jalopnik: Ten Cars That Won't Snag You A Man [Car Culture]

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Yesterday, the lumberjack-loving gals at The Globe and Mail put together a list of cars that'd help ladies pick up men. Lame. Here's ten cars that definitely won't enhance your milkshake's ability to bring boys to the yard.

504x_Brooke_Shields_VW.jpgThey say:

Are you a single woman looking for Mr. Right? Forget online dating, the awkward blind date, or scouring the grocery-store aisles for single guys. There's an untapped resource right at your fingertips – your car.

But if we're to believe them the right car will snag you a winner, the wrong car could make you a loser and here's the ten to avoid. Girl power!

504x_chevy_cobalt.jpgCar: Chevy Cobalt Coupe

What it says about you: Your boyfriend forces you to cook meth.

Why men don't like that: Meth dealers have guns and rampant paranoia.

504x_Chrysler_TownCountry.jpgCar: Chrysler Town and Country

What it says about you: You're ready to give birth.

Why men don't like that: Nothing is more frightening to a man than the prospect of fathering children.

504x_2010_Acura_RDX.jpgCar: 2010 Acura RDX

What is says about you: The ugliest car on sale does not make a good first impression.

Why men don't like that: Men are shallow.

504x_2010_lexus_hs250h.jpgCar: Lexus HS250h

What is says about you: Only managing 35 MPG combined and costing $34,200, the little Lexus hybrid says gullible, eco-freak and boring in equal measures.

Why men don't like that: Think of one of Hillary Clinton's pant suits. This is the automotive equivalent.

504x_Toyota_Camry.jpgCar: Toyota Camry

What it says about you: It won't have a chance to say anything about you, it's so boring that it will literally make you invisible.

Why men don't like that: Men like cars, not beige.

504x_small_43jpg_Thumbnail1.jpgCar: Ford Mustang V6 Convertible

What it says about you: that in addition to cheerleading, you think blowies are a competitive sport.

Why men don't like that: While the prospect of easy sex will initially attract most men, the Herpes breakout will ultimately prove a turnoff.

504x_grandma.jpgCar: Chrysler PT Cruiser

What is says about you: That you eat dinner at 5pm and have a closet full of orthopedic shoes.

Why men don't like that: men prefer women that use pantyhose as a way to make their legs look tan, not as a medical aid.

504x_M_022_internet.jpgCar: VW Beetle

What it says about you: not only do you have a bedroom full of stuffed animals, but if you were to bring a man home, you'd hold conversations with him in their voices.

Why men don't like that: they think you'll murder them in their sleep if they accidently push Mr. Nibbles off the bed.

504x_Subaru_Outback.jpgCar: Subaru Outback

What it says about you: that you wear Birkenstocks, baggy cargo shorts and fantasize about Rossie O'Donnell

Why men don't like that: men like women who shave their legs.

pink_hummer_h2-01.jpgCar: Hummer H2

What it says about you: that you consider Ron Jeremy and Peter North "colleagues."

Why men don't like that: Oh they like that, it's just that their computer screens are too small to show all the stretch marks and surgery scars.

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Thank God for Jalopnik. The Camry bit is awesomeness and the H2 bit is the truth.

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LOL, great picture of the Camry BTW. I think that's it's best angle.

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LOL, great picture of the Camry BTW. I think that's it's best angle.

It really captures the essence of the brand. Bland. Beige.

Rob

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