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Being chatted up...


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Being chatted up while in line...it can be tolerable or it can be annoying.

It's tolerable only when there is NO ulterior motive. That is, you find out that the person you are in line next to is from the same part of the country, went to a high school or college close to the one you went to, if not the SAME one, or is in the same occupation. The conversation is not strained.

It ranges from annoying to sickening when you have NOTHING in common with the person and there is a general edginess about it (read "multi-level.") Yeah, I know, I've complained about this before.

Last Friday, I'm in line for a Safeway deli sandwich (they can be damn good). This guy behind me starts talking to me nonstop. I'm on the defense and then eventually ask him what he does for a living. He said he has a home business that does interntional shipping. Actually, he lived in a decent neighborhood. At this point, I'm suspicious ... and tell him it's great to have casual Friday so I don't have to walk blocks and blocks in a suit to my favorite delis or dives. At this point, he backs off a little bit. Yep, it was way too friendly and too forced to be anything other than a sales pitch.

Agree? That if someone edgily forces a conversation with you while in line or sitting in an eating establishment, it's PROBABLY multi-level or a sales pitch?

When will it ever stop? *sigh*

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Agree? That if someone edgily forces a conversation with you while in line or sitting in an eating establishment, it's PROBABLY multi-level or a sales pitch?

I've had suspiciously friendly people trying to introduce me to their religion, and when I decline, they're no longer interested and stop talking to me.

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I've had suspiciously friendly people trying to introduce me to their religion, and when I decline, they're no longer interested and stop talking to me.

WORSE than salesmen or multi-level in my books. I don't know how I manage to sniff them out and avoid them.

On a personal level, a friend of mine, formerly an excellent distributor for Christie Brown & Co., became my manager at my first job. I learned a great deal from him, considering him a mentor. I've since spread my own wings and we've managed to keep in touch. Over the years, I've found that when we talk, he seems to be more interested in who I know. This has led me to conclude that most of his own success has purely been through networking; which is fine for some, but I'd rather have friends as well. To each their own, I guess.

Edited by ShadowDog
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I've had suspiciously friendly people trying to introduce me to their religion, and when I decline, they're no longer interested and stop talking to me.

I've had random people come up to me in public places and try and sell me on Jesus.. I usually answer that I'm a Druid or 'no habla ingles'..

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Either that or he was hitting on you....

I hear you.

Those have more of a creepy leering quality to them.

This had the "gotta close the deal within a finite time" element, as do the Starbucks/Borders/B&N cafe multi-level annoyances.

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A couple other wierd ones...a couple times I've been at a gas station, filling up, and a guy walks over to me and asks if I want to buy his 'high end' speakers out of the back of his Suburban or van...some story about 'they were going to a home installation w/ them, but the owner declined them, can get them for 75% off, whatever'...yeah, right..probably stolen goods.

Or in December the guy that comes to the door and says he has premium (Omaha Steaks or something similar) steaks in the car that he is selling, frozen, discounted, blah blah blah.

Wierd stuff.

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I can't stand people who start talking to me randomly, especially when I'm out with a group of people and someone just tries to insert themselves in the conversation. I was at Target this past December with a good female friend, and we were joking around in the checkout line about placement of the separator bar, and how I wanted it to be perfectly clear that we were NOT together. Just goofing off. Creepy dude behind me in line leans in at this moment and says "What do you two not want me to see?" And I just turned around, weirded out expression on my face, and said "Okaaaaaaaaaaaay?" and slowly turned back around...and then moved to the end of the checkout station to get away.

Weird.

Last summer some old man interrupted my conversation with the same friend at a Starbucks. Started telling us his life story for 20 minutes. We really could not get away, and I obviously have no problem being blunt in those situations. As we walked away, we were both dazed and confused and couldn't figure out a) what just happened, and b) what we had even been talking about.

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Unless the service is really bad, you should tip, because that's a major part of their income. I have never ate somewhere where the service was so bad I didn't tip.

Oh, I have. But never twice.

Also, California is one of the states that enforces minimum wage even for tipped employees.

I generally do tip, unless service really sucks, but I was mainly getting at the earlier post that strongly implied tip entitlement. It doesn't exist--there are too many lazy young people who don't realize they should be doing something extra if they are to expect tips.

True but crap like that is rememberd for a long time.

So is abysmal service.

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Oh, I have. But never twice.

Also, California is one of the states that enforces minimum wage even for tipped employees.

I generally do tip, unless service really sucks, but I was mainly getting at the earlier post that strongly implied tip entitlement. It doesn't exist--there are too many lazy young people who don't realize they should be doing something extra if they are to expect tips.

So is abysmal service.

I generally always tip, sometimes there is a gray area where I'm not sure whether to tip or not are in restaurants where you pay first at the counter, then they bring the food to your table...kind of those in the 'quick casual' category. Awkward, since I rarely carry cash yet they don't often have a tip line on the receipt when you pay (and if the amount is low enough, you don't even sign).

Edited by Cubical-aka-Moltar
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I was not trying to imply tip entitlement, but I can't count the number of stories I have heard from my friends who have waited on a large table of people and they have left the aftermath of a bomb explosion to be cleaned up after all their goofy needs and requests have been met and they leave a card talking about jesus or god instead of one red cent on a 100 - 200 dollar tab.

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Oh, I have. But never twice.

Also, California is one of the states that enforces minimum wage even for tipped employees.

I generally do tip, unless service really sucks, but I was mainly getting at the earlier post that strongly implied tip entitlement. It doesn't exist--there are too many lazy young people who don't realize they should be doing something extra if they are to expect tips.

So is abysmal service.

I agree with the lazy people. Service with a smile and all that is important. If the service is bad enough its certainly grounds for no tip.

On a side note, my big pet peeve has always been how most delivery driver's get shafted when it comes to tips. Far too many people tend to think $2 for a $40 meal is a good tip. Or a dollar. Or less than a dollar. Or nothing. I especially hate it when they are all friendly, say thank you, and then don't tip. Like "thank you" is somehow enough. It's a slap in the face. They should tip like they do a server, a percentage. Delivery drivers, if anything do more work, and they have the extra costs of fuel (which not all delivery business reimburse), oil changes, wear and tear, etc.

If a person is to cheap to tip, fine, go pick you damn food up yourself. Unless the person is rude or something like that (I don't usually count late as grounds for not it, because their are variables beyond their control that can cause the delivery to be late), then yeah little to no tip is understandable.

Just one of those things that really oils my blood, since I worked the job (never again), was always friendly and polite (except for two occasions but I won't get into that), but had to deal with this sort of thing, among people who were rude, and other things.

But I digress.

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I was not trying to imply tip entitlement, but I can't count the number of stories I have heard from my friends who have waited on a large table of people and they have left the aftermath of a bomb explosion to be cleaned up after all their goofy needs and requests have been met and they leave a card talking about jesus or god instead of one red cent on a 100 - 200 dollar tab.

Yeah but as annoying as it is, it happens. Every so often, it will happen. If you're a pretty good waiter/waitress, you will be raking in tips left and right, and that one table a week that fails to leave a tip isn't that big of a deal anymore.

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I was not trying to imply tip entitlement, but I can't count the number of stories I have heard from my friends who have waited on a large table of people and they have left the aftermath of a bomb explosion to be cleaned up after all their goofy needs and requests have been met and they leave a card talking about jesus or god instead of one red cent on a 100 - 200 dollar tab.

Their evangelism would probably have been more effective if they left the card bundled with a nice tip.

I've never really been chatted up, honestly. I've played with a kid in the carriage in front of me, and made small talk with the parent(s), but that's about it really. I usually keep to myself when in a store.

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Unless the service is really bad, you should tip, because that's a major part of their income. I have never ate somewhere where the service was so bad I didn't tip.

About the service being THAT bad, it's happened a time or two. I usually leave the obligatory 15%, and maybe a little less at a self-serve buffet because I'm the one putting the food on the plate(s) and taking it back to the table.

Yes, I ALWAYS remember that the servers need the tips to bring their income up to reality.

But, back on topic, I can't stand people in these establishments who feel they can encroach on NORMAL boundaries.

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About the service being THAT bad, it's happened a time or two. I usually leave the obligatory 15%, and maybe a little less at a self-serve buffet because I'm the one putting the food on the plate(s) and taking it back to the table.

Yes, I ALWAYS remember that the servers need the tips to bring their income up to reality.

But, back on topic, I can't stand people in these establishments who feel they can encroach on NORMAL boundaries.

Thank God no one ever really does this in SoCal, aside from the random cracked-out drunk bummer.

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As a kid I used to go to the grocery store with my grandmother (she never had her license, but always drove locally to wherever), and she used to embarrass me because she would talk randomly to strangers. She had no agenda, she was just a friendly old soul.

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As a kid I used to go to the grocery store with my grandmother (she never had her license, but always drove locally to wherever), and she used to embarrass me because she would talk randomly to strangers. She had no agenda, she was just a friendly old soul.

And there are too few such souls...

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And there are too few such souls...

No way. Social boundaries are a great thing.

As a kid I used to go to the grocery store with my grandmother (she never had her license, but always drove locally to wherever), and she used to embarrass me because she would talk randomly to strangers. She had no agenda, she was just a friendly old soul.

I love old people who just do whatever and don't give a $h!, even though her chatter would have likely annoyed the $h! out of me.

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Well, the irritated customer. The type to be annoyed while standing in a line if someone asks you, say, your opinion of a product you have in your hands. Or even if two people in front of you are talking about a product. Do these things bother you? Or is it just the random, "Nice weather we're having..." chatter because there's time to kill and people are just being nice?

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Well, the irritated customer. The type to be annoyed while standing in a line if someone asks you, say, your opinion of a product you have in your hands. Or even if two people in front of you are talking about a product. Do these things bother you? Or is it just the random, "Nice weather we're having..." chatter because there's time to kill and people are just being nice?

I don't pay attention to what other people are doing--it doesn't concern me, so it's not my business.

I cannot stand the random chatter. It isn't nice, it's annoying--these people aren't trying to be "nice," either--if someone wants/needs human contact so badly, get a cell phone and/or make some friends. I am not your friend, I have things to do, things to think about, tasks and people to balance, and I really couldn't care any less about Muffy and her chew toys.

Now, if you want to ask me how to get to Third and Fairfax, if Roscoe's is open late tonight, whether to take the Hollywood or Ventura Freeway, if an ATM is nearby, or even if you can bum a cigarette and/or light...fine. But don't start complaining to me about the length of the line, your hopes/dreams about tomorrow, how awful the weather is, or if I heard the latest about Michael Jackson's doctor. And DON'T insert yourself into a private conversation I am having with am acquaintance unless there's a very damn good reason for doing so and you do it as politely as possible. Need/want human contact? See above.

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I don't mind interacting with someone in a public place if you're in a "better place" afterwards.

I've met random people in coffee shops, in line, on the train, etc. that you had something bizarre in common with - like both speaking French or Portuguese, or coming from the two geographically closest Catholic high schools in Los Angeles (I now have lunch every couple of months with this lady that went to H.S. 4 miles from me and we are good friends, just from riding the train) and on and on. There's nothing forced about these interactions. In fact, there's almost like a "sixth sense" that you've both crossed paths before. It's kind of cool.

The person who harasses you for an unwanted business situation or religious conviction is the ultimate unwanted nuisance. They don't know anything about you professionally and I subscribe to a religious denomination I plan to keep. I invariably chase them off and sometimes even raise the decibel level to embarrass them if they were real jerks. Being "hit on" is annoying, but I guess it's more flattering than NOT being "hit on." LOL.

BTW:

Once upon a time, I was sitting at a *drum roll* Bob's Big Boy in a desert community in SoCal with my parents and the people at the next table were Italians (from a town less than 20 miles away from my parents' hometown in Sicily) now living in another part of Southern California. My parents exchanged numbers with them and remained friends until my parents moved to the PNW. They were very nice and very normal (relative term) people.

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You know, I'm really hoping that once I settle into my new place, I can find a compact/midsized truck or SUV to haul the bikes around and handle the runs to Home Depot/Lowes. Ideally, I'd like to find one that's affordable enough so that I don't have to trade in the Cobalt. That Blazer I posted in the "Intriguing" thread would work very well, but not at $7,995. That dealer's going to have to come down because there's no way I'm paying 8K for a 10 year old truck. If he doesn't there's another Blazer at a dealer just up the road. Same exact config, but four years newer, and it's dark red instead of black. No price listed on that one. That same dealer also has a red Colorado ext. cab for sale that could work. You know, it's too bad dealers don't stock Colorados around here - a V8 Colorado 3LT in bright red would be awesome. I saw a couple of Youtube vids, and man, they realy nailed that exhaust note. I'm sitting on 2K GM points, and that, plus factory incentives, plus my discount for being a credit union member, I could probably get one with a reasonable monthly payment.

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