Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
knightfan26917

Word Plays

5 posts in this topic

PART 1 ... SELECT QUOTES, Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary":

Arrest = Formally to detain one accused of unusualness

Corporation = An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility

Dictionary = A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

Electricity = The cause of all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.

Justice = A commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.

Logic = The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

Philosophy = A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Road = A strip of land along which one may pass form where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

Zeal = A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

PART 2 ... SELECT QUOTES, Lexophile Humor

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it!

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A will is a dead giveaway.

A calendar's days are numbered.

Cort:34swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve&pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"I knew what I was talking bout" ... Jimmy Wayne ... 'Do You Believe Me Now'

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hahaha.... good stuff.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why buy shampoo when you can have real poo?

:duck:

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0