Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
knightfan26917

Assisting others...

6 posts in this topic

Why is asking for and/or accepting the help of others so seemingly taboo?

I'm exhausted and so tired I can't even sleep, which is not good, since I have to be at work Thursday and Friday. But, trying to do my best to help my parents at home after their surgeries (Mom donated a kidney to Dad), while doing what I need to do ... and trying to make my sister understand that I AM helping Dad and Mom ... is starting to grate on my nerves. I love helping Dad and Mom, especially after the sacrifices they have made, but when they won't LET me help them as my sister insists I need to ... it frustrates me.

Thus the somewhat re-worded, semi-rhetorical query I posed to start this post:

When did asking for and/or accepting the help of others become so seemingly taboo ... and, why IS it taboo?

OR...is it just perception? After all, helping others is a hallmark of society, human nature, and the "good" in people. Yet, asking for and/or accepting help from others is viewed by some as a weakness...as something taboo...as something we shouldn't do because we should be self-sustaining....

Irony rocks.

Cort:34swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve&pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"Why are we so blind to see that the ones we hurt are you & me" ... Coolio ... 'Gangsta's Paradise'

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm hypocritical when it comes to this. I usually don't suggest people to help me when something's wrong, and I usually don't ask for any type of help unless I really need it. However, if someone else has a problem, I'll usually try to be first to help and persist in helping unless they tell me my help isn't necessary.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm hypocritical when it comes to this. I usually don't suggest people to help me when something's wrong, and I usually don't ask for any type of help unless I really need it. However, if someone else has a problem, I'll usually try to be first to help and persist in helping unless they tell me my help isn't necessary.

:yes:

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm hypocritical when it comes to this. I usually don't suggest people to help me when something's wrong, and I usually don't ask for any type of help unless I really need it. However, if someone else has a problem, I'll usually try to be first to help and persist in helping unless they tell me my help isn't necessary.

I am the same way most of the time. Since my dad died I have had to accept people helping me to get my new house organized and things the way we want them. That has been hard.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

After re-reading my first post in this thread, I need to clarify a couple of things....

First, I typed this when I was extremely exhausted; so, reading it over again, it seems like I'm complaining/more frustrated than I really am...if that makes sense....

Second, my sister IS helping. I didn't mean to imply that she isn't, and I sincerely apologize if it came across like that. She stays with Mom and Dad during the day while I'm at work. She is able to be home the next couple weeks because she has a company laptop and can do most of her work from home.

I tend to be hypocritcal, too, Frank....

Since my dad died I have had to accept people helping me to get my new house organized and things the way we want them. That has been hard.

I can imagine.

Hope you are having a good time at the Chicago Auto Show today.... Doesn't look like I'll be going at all this year :(.

Cort:34swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve&pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"When we stand together, it's our finest hour" ... The Judds ... 'Love Can Build A Bridge'

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Addendum

"When we stand together, it's our finest hour" ... The Judds ... 'Love Can Build A Bridge'

I'm not that bad of a caretaker; I got Mom and Dad to laugh over the weekend numerous times. My best performance (well, imho) was Saturday night. I went upstairs around 6p to get dinner for Dad and Mom, after spending most of the day trying to catch up on my groups/forums, since I hadn't been online since Wednesday night. Except, Mom and Dad weren't hungry. I was a bit frustrated because they KNOW they HAVE to eat SOMETHING in order to get their strength back. So, instead of ranting to them, I simply said: "If you aren't in the kitchen in the next 15 minutes, I'm grabbing your car keys, moving your Cobalt, moving your other Ch#$r%*et thingy out of the garage, and putting my '87 Monte Carlo LS in the garage. Then, I'll park your Cobalt where I usually park ... and your other car on the street!"

A slight pause and then chuckles from the living room. Dad said, "You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, no?" I JOKINGLY retorted. "Try me."

They were both out in the kitchen shortly thereafter, still laughin'. Ironically, I was NOT kidding.

*pauses*

I wonder if my frustration was moreso due to my own "concern" that I wouldn't be able to help them...enough. That I couldn't help them without help myself.... After all, I'm the sibling that chose to live with them (for MANY different reasons), and, if I can't take care of them when they need it, how will I ever manage later on ... and what good am I to them?

A rather silly thought, I know, but 'tis quite the illustration for this:

Is [asking for and/or accepting the help of others taboo]due to perception? After all, helping others is a hallmark of society, human nature, and the "good" in people. Yet, asking for and/or accepting help from others is viewed by some as a weakness...as something taboo...as something we shouldn't do because we should be self-sustaining....

From my experiences, I know enough to know that this truly is a small world in MANY ways...that people DO help others...and accepting help is NOT as taboo as PERCEPTION seems to make it....

Cort:34swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve&pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"I never meant to leave you alone" ... Michael Martin Murphy ... 'Don't Count The Rainy Days'

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0