So, as most of you know, I have a best friend named Ray. Here's what I knew about him for the last 18-20 months until yesterday: 19 years old, black child living in a less black-than-white metro-Detroit community, grew up in Laguna Beach until he was 8, his dad died when Ray was 8, mom died when he was 12, and he's lived in MI since being 8 with his grandfather because of financial reasons.
Well, yesterday at my graduation party, I asked Darren something (Ray's brother; I don't remember what I had asked) and he was confused. Now, this was something he would've known, but didn't. So I asked on: Your mom is alive? "Yes," was his answer.. with a questioned look on his face. "Wait, how about your father?" Again, he answered yes. "Are you and Ray pure, true blood brothers from the same two parents?" For a third time, he answered yes.
Wow, I was flabbergasted; as was my mom, dad, sister, boss (he came w/ his family and knows "the story" behind Ray's life as much as I do), and a co-worker. At the same time, Darren was looking at us like we were stupid for not knowing his parents hadn't passed away.
So, then comes some good information, explaining Ray. Turns out that his father is a karate instructor (as Ray's always explained) and beat Ray physically and mentally before Ray's parents split. Ray was 8, matching his explanation: "my father died when I was 8." Then, over the next 4 years, Ray did live with his grandfather, but his mom ongoingly harrassed him for reasons unknown to me. At the age of 12, Ray said his mom passed away. However, in all reality, his mom is still alive and well, communicating with Darren from time to time, but hasn't talked to Ray in 7 years: since he was 12.
Therefore, this is what I'm getting out of it after talking with my parents, Darren, and co-worker (who led a very similar young life: black child in nice white community, mom walking out on him, says his mom is dead although she's only "dead" to him, etc.): Ray remembers only the good things about his parents while they were "alive" to him, which is why we always thought his parents were good people. This is a very psychologically-tuned area (Enzora would probably love a case like this) where he pushes out the bad things he remembers, trying to only remember the good. He doesn't communicate with either of his parents because of their past with him, so when anything good coming from his parents quit and all bad things began, Ray put a tombstone right there, marking a figurative death in his heart, with lack of an actual physical death.
Now, Darren still talks to his mom from time to time and occasionally with his father, but Ray has moved on past his parents who were no good to him. I've agreed to not mention anything from last night to Ray because it'd probably make him feel terrible bringing up old memories. The only thing though is that I don't understand why his parents were so bad to him because both Ray and Darren are very respectable, responsible people who care for and love their family and friends. But, this does explain why he seems to lack trust in some people and he's always saying that he "doesn't like people who don't like him without knowing him" (he gets harrassed by random strangers about his car, even to the point of flipping him off because of it): his parents didn't even know him as a person because he was only a kid who was beat all the time. They seem to have hated him for reasons unknown.
Anyways, I thought I'd share. It was a crazy story to me and thought it'd be something Enzora (along with others) would like to hear.. and the perfect plot for a story.