Satty
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Everything posted by Satty
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Sheriff
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I'm going to be up late, which means I'll wake up late, which means I'll be running late and won't have time to buy my morning coffee from a pretty young redhead. I live, literally, the worst life imaginable.
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My bathroom smells vaguely of pine, so I feel like I'm pooping in the woods like some sort of hobo.
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It's nearly noon and I've only had one cup of coffee.
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Fact: Pontiac is not a current GM brand. Fact: Pontiac was a heavily fleeted brand through the 90's and 00's. Fact: Time travel isn't possible. There is no Pontiac right now, nobody wants what Pontiac has been for the last 20 years and there isn't a way to re-live the days when Pontiac was relevant.
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Wife was asleep, wasn't about to turn a light on and deal with the consequences.
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I just used my phone as a flashlight in order to get across the room and find my charger and plug the phone in. Now I have to re-navigate the dark room sans flashlight.
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I'm buying the patent on that thing and you're making a commercial with that tag line.
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I saw a silver sedan the other day that was quite dull in appearance. It didn't look familiar so I glanced at the decklid and sure enough it was a Sonic. If GM does it right, they could have a replacement for the late-90's Civic here, if its solid, reliable and boring to look at, people will flock.
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It's too dark in here to masturbate right now.
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I was shot in the face with a Nerf gun earlier and the dart didn't stick to my forehead so I didn't get to run around pretending to be a narwhal.
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Masturbation
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911 GT2 RS total cargasm
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Clean, unmodified examples will run closer to $7-10 grand but they'll run forever. It isn't tough to find one that was bought to be a boulevard cruiser.
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Unfortunately its supposed to be near 80 today. Maybe I'll throw it in the river, then they'll have to replace it.
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I saw an elusive SX4 this morning, rolling on a donut, the driver smoking on Virginia Slims. It was a classy scene.
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My bacon isn't perfectly crispy.
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If you can't find a decent CJ or TJ on Craigslist for under $4 grand, you're a failure at the internet. But if you really want something new that isn't a modern car, I'm sure the good people of India would welcome you to their country to sample a Nano.
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The SX4 is barely worth being called a car.
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That didn't last, now did it?
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Puh-lease, anything after 1479 is crap, I'm talking the real stuff with pan flutes, gemshorns, psalteries and lutes. But you've probably never heard of any of those.
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My cell phone insurance keeps paying to fix my phone when what I want is a new phone.
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You can spec a Wrangler Unlimited up to $40 grand. When you think about it, you get like 6 vehicles in one. You can drive it every day to take the kids to school, you can carry just about anything Home Depot sells, you can drive it up a mountain, in the summer its an open-top cruiser, in the winter its a blizzard-beater. I think the fact that it has power windows and air conditioning is just fine.
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$27k isn't bad at all, if you want an '86 Jeep hop on Craigslist and find an '86.
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The Lion King on Blu-Ray is amazing, it feels like 1994 all over again but with better picture and sound.
