I'm a little bummed about being at this point in my life and not having a partner and a family. I mean, yes, the family part can wait, but I'd like a partner. Not that my parents will ever tolerate him... at least I'd have company on holidays. The cool thing is, I get to spoil my goddaughter and there's little the parents can do -- I keep it all in relative check though. But the gay side of me is odd in this respect... I HATE shopping for clothes... but I LOVE shopping for clothes for my goddaughter. Maybe because she's a little baby still--maybe when she gets older it won't be as fun. Oh, and I love getting her toys! Uffa... John #3 said that to me--he's highly religious and spiritual. I asked him, "John, do you think we're going to hell?" He said, "Honestly, no, but think about it... if gay people went to hell, it'd simply be FABulous!" Kinda sounds funny coming from him--a guy built like a tank, deepest voice I've ever heard in a guy, could pass for superman, but loves cock. LOLI don't think I'm going to hell--I find it extremely hard to believe that God, who created me like this, would punish me for making me gay. Nor do I feel someone like myself, who has tried to be the best person he can be, helping people out all the time, would be punished.
Back to having my own family... during the last week of school, a math teacher came up to me... she's in her 50's. I forgot how it came up--I believe I was talking about my goddaughter and saying how she's now a big sister (at 16 months old!), and she looked at me and said, "You better have children. You have to be a father. If you don't, I'll f@#king kill you. A child deserves you as a father."
I wonder if I'd be a good dad? I kinda wish I could be a dad around the same time as all my friends have children--so mine had some "family" to get together with as well. Oh well... lots to think about.