My armchair pyschologist's take on things is that both heterosexuality and homosexuality are somewhat dysfunctional.
Heterosexuality is dysfunctional because of the "battle of the sexes." It's always been there. It always will be. The divorce rate is at about 58%. That's a lot of people lining the coffers of attorneys. So sad. There is enough written on the different communication styles and needs of women and men. When the going gets really rough, the tough say "Adios." $h!, even the husband-wife team of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" have split up. When I was in high school, I was no naive to think that girls were, yes, plumbed differently but basically processed things the way that boys/men do (I don't have any sisters) and that beyond the difference in appearance and reproductive tract, there was little, if any, mental difference. Was I wrong! That's probably why I have experienced so many disagreements with them...and I just walk away. The most explosive is when women I know have taken the side of another woman when the facts in the case clearly indicated I was right....and these were college educated working women. It almost makes me cringe to think about standing before a female judge in a courtroom, wondering if her professional judgment is tinged by estrogen.
Homosexuality is dysfunctional because, in MY opinion, there is no balance in the 2 predators or 2 nesters pairing. I think there's a lack of complementarity (is that a word?). That's why men bond and hang out with each other. That's why women bond and hang out with each other. They were designed to be friends and collaborators. My friend from Long Beach was in therapy with his partner / boyfriend (whatever status) and the whole time I'm thinking: what's there to fix here...you can't even fix it....and you're lining this therapist's coffers? I remember what a PhD student I knew in Portland OR working toward becoming a counselor told me casually about his student case load or patient load -- "nowadays, you're lucky if 50% of the straight couples out there make it and you're lucky if 5% of the gay couples out there make it." Since I retain any kind of numerical info or statistics, I thought this was interesting...and probably true.
About PB's post, yes we ALL KNOW what is exemplary in both genders. But American society bristles at that. A lot of European cultures have no hangups with that...but we do. In fact, when heterosexual women put on make up or buy clothing to look like a particular woman they admire or heterosexual men go to the gym to pump up to approximate the bigger quads or biceps of the guy next to them, that's an admission of a standard they aspire to within their own gender....and it is innately homoerotic. People just can't talk about it. Look around...you will always see straight women really check out a flawless woman and you will always see straight men size up another male that tends toward the exemplary specimen. I would bet that operates in other species of the animal kingdom as well.
The solution is simple. We are born alone. We leave this world alone. There is nothing wrong with being alone. That's why God created dogs. Amen.