I am an honest man. I lied to my father.
As some of you know, I like to go camping at a particular campground in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania. It's a gay/lesbian campground, and further, it is clothing optional. I go two or three times a season. Without being too specific, over the last four years I've been going I've been telling my parents (seperately, they're divorced) that I've been going "camping upstate"... which sufficed... until my dad mentioned one day that he delivers tires (he retired from Armstrong floor company after 41 years and now drives a pickup truck, delivering tires for a local merchant) to a customer in the same town. I spoke up and said "that's near where I go camping".
That was enough for him for about a year, but then he started asking more specific questions. That's when I made a fatal mistake. I told my father I camp at a local state park, which is only about 3 miles from where I really go. I didn't think anything of it, I assumed camping was allowed there.
As part of our recent family reunion, the whole family went to a local baseball game. As we sat and watched the game, enjoying the evening, he suddenly leans over and says to me "I was up at (that town) the other day, and my customer says you can't camp overnight at "__" State Park. Is that where you go?"
I panicked a bit and said "Yes! What the hell is he talking about!?" Dad said "Ok, if that's where you go, that's that." From that moment on, I felt like crap about it.
Last Wednesday when I got home there was a phone message on my machine. It was my dad calling to invite me out to dinner to celebrate my brother's birthday Friday. His message: "Hey Bill, this is dad. I'm calling from "___" State Park. I wanted to call and invite you to dinner..."
We had a nice dinner for my brother's birthday... we didn't talk about camping at all, but this is hanging out there, an unresolved issue that I am very uneasy about. I've always tried to keep certain things quiet, that's how I prefer them, but it pains me to know my dad knows I lied about it. Now it is going to color every interaction I have with him until... something happens. I am paranoid, thinking my dad's customer knows about "my" campground (even though it is not advertised locally to keep it private) and has told him of its proximity. There are other, conventional campgrounds clustered around the area as well.
Now I worry about what I've done to my dad. I love him and don't want to hurt him. This is horrible.