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I have to get intimate...

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...with a Jaguar E-type.

The E-type that has been hanging around the "car barn" with the Healeys is bound for driver duty, so I guess I'll be getting to know all of its deepest secrets going forward.

I know motor oil is for lubrication and all, but I don't think it's meant for that kind of lubrication.

Will you buy it dinner and take it out for tea first? I mean it's the gentlemanly thing to do.

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No, but I'll try to avoid calling it a British POS.

Right now it has carb issues, so that will be job one.

Carb issues? I never thought of an E-type as overweight. Just balance the carbs with more lean protein and your intimacy will be enhanced. No more "just pick a wrinkle and poke it"!

You'll probably end up on a date with Lord Lucas, Prince of Darkness, also

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