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Fake News


Drew Dowdell

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Fake news has been in the press a lot lately, so I figured let's generate some of our own.

Rules:

1. It has to be automotive related, no politics, not even a hint of politics.

2. It has to be plausible enough to be believable by someone who isn't a car enthusiast. (I.E., no Tucker is not resuming operations, no GM is not reviving Pontiac)

3. Write it as if it were a press release or news announcement.

 

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Honda announces the 2018 Honda CR-V Type-R. This newest edition to the Type-R family features a 370 horsepower 2.4 liter turbo-charged direct injected engine with available 6-speed manual transmission. Configurable All-wheel drive is standard on all CR-V Type-Rs. In the driver selectable Comfort mode, the All-Wheel drive continuously monitors road conditions and adjusts traction as necessary, Sport mode locks the AWD into full time 4x4 mode with torque split evenly front to rear, +R mode allows the AWD system to adjust to performance driving inputs favoring torque to the rear wheels with the ability to send up to 90% of the torque to the rearward.

Like Civic Type-R, Brembo calipers are standard. An active damping suspension automatically lowers the vehicle up to 30 mm at speeds above 45 mph or when +R mode is selected. Thicker front and rear stabilizer bars assist in handling the curves for spirited driving. 

The 2018 CR-V Type-R comes standard with HondaSense safety system. Optional Recaro front seats are available.

21122537_10155433822881413_5724497288501671128_o.jpg

The 2018 Honda CR-V Type-R arrives in dealerships on September 31st with a base price of $38,995 plus delivery.

 

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GM has announced today the all new Trailblazer Hybrid. This ultimate off road CUV uses a beefed up version of the Volt / Bolt Powertrain with removable powercell modules. The system will have a 100 mile removable powercell along with a Duramax Diesel generator capable of adding 400 additional miles of use. Total power of 400 HP with 580 lbs of torque.

Approach angle of 40 degrees and a departure angle of 45 degrees allow the all new Trailblazer CUV to take on the most difficult terrain. The new system also has the latest in sway-bar disconnect for greater articulation off road. Trailblazer blazes the way of the 21st century 4WD systems offering a choice of 4WD HI, LO, Rock Crawl, Sand, Snow, Mud, FWD, RWD options. The differentials are electronically locking. Clearance is a impressive 15 inches.

The Trailblazer offers one of the best regenerative brake system out there by Brembo with the use of a traditional brake pad or a regen paddle on the steering wheel. Brembo Regen system when nothing but the best is desired.

The whole hybrid system is accessible via a 14 inch center stack console panel and a HUD system for the driver.

Chevrolet is proud to offer a variety of packages from the Base L trim, to their top High Country trim.

Built like a Rock, check out www.chevrolet.com and select Crossovers & SUVS to build your 2018 Trailblazer today!

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As Cadillac turned 115 years old this year, it will be celebrating its anniversary by finally aligning all their products together into one logical naming scheme. It looked as though Cadillac forgot its own birthday, but this week the brand announced that by 2018, all their products  will wear a letter and a number for their name. The ATS and the CTS will be the lone exceptions as when those vehicles are set to be replaced soon by the now familiar 'CT- #' alpha-numeric designation.

Coming off the heels of Audi announcing their new direction in nomenclature badging, Cadillac is to continue to remake itself in Audi’s image by eliminating the only vehicle they sell by an actual name and re-badging it as the XT7.  Yes folks, the Escalade is to become the ΧΤ7 for 2018.

Here it is, our camera crew caught some spy shots of it as its also getting minor refreshments for the big 115th birthday.

2018%20Cadillac%20XT7%20side.jpg

There is good news though as Johan de Nysschen hinted at a Cadillac XT9 ultra-SUV that could top the XT7 (former Escalade) that would see a price tag north of $300 000.

Edited by oldshurst442
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To celebrate the 55th anniversary of the Wagoneer, Jeep will be celebrating it with the 2018 Jeep Grand Cherokee Grand Wagoneer.   In the spirit of the classic 1984-1991 Grand Wagoneer, the Grand Cherokee Grand Wagoneer will come standard with vinyl wood grain appliqué on the sides and tailgate in a variety of wood styles, with corresponding surround trim.   A modern 20-inch version of the classic Grand Wagoneer multi-spoke wheels on 20 inch white wall tires are standard.   Interior trim will be based on the Grand Cherokee Summit, but with additional Grand Wagoneer badging, additional woodgrain trim, and retro column gear shift lever and cassette deck in addition to the standard 8.4 UConnect system.  Pricing to be announced. 

Edited by Cubical-aka-Moltar
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Aug. 31, 2017.

In another confusing tweet today, Elon Musk seemed to be dishing it out on poor old Bob Lutz. Tweeted on Bob Lutz's tweet account, all his tweet said was "Hey Bob! Go Lutz yourself!" with a pic of Lutz's VL Destino:

Quote

Hey Bob! Go Lutz yourself!

vl-automotive-destino-with-bob-lutz-at-2

 

 

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Sept. 1, 2017.

 

You will not believe it folks! Elon Musk's weird couple of days just got weirder. At least his odd tweets are finally explained, but it does not however begin to explain what madness has gone to this billionaire's brain..

At approximately 8:30 AM Pacific time, Musk announced that he will build 50 special Model S with the Hellcat supercharged V8 just to stick it to Bob Lutz and Henrik Fisker.

As you all know, In August 2007, Fisker and Quantum Technologies teamed up to launch the luxury electric car startup Fisker Automotive in Anaheim, California. The car they engineered was the Karma.

Fisker_at_speed_in_the_fog_trimmed.jpg

And when that company went bankrupt, Bob Lutz swooped in to buy a handful of Karma bodies and fit them with Corvette engines to make the VL Destino.

Fisker as it turns out, before heading out on his own, also worked for Musk on the Tesla Model S.

Well, this is his tweet.

 

Quote

I crushed Fisker and his Karma with my Model S, now I will crush Lutz with his Corvette powered Karma with  my Hellcat powered Model S

 

I think someone needs to give Musk a rest because like his cars, he is becoming ludicrous!

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