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The Redneck in Me


Cory Wolfe

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Every once in a while, you'll come across a situation that just brings out a special part of you.

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That f@#king Cutlass. :P

So, this morning for work, I went out to start it like usual. Opened the door, sat in, set the worthless choke, start the engine, and get out. When I close the door, I hear a clunk as it bounces back open. "What the f@#k?!" Try it again, same thing. I inspect the latch and jiggle it a bit, figuring it might not have released completely. Try again. *clunk* Well, isn't that that special. Play with it some more and try again. *clunk* Mind you, it's about 15 degrees out and I have to be at work in 10 minutes. My patience is being tested. I grab a screw driver and try to mess with the latch some more. I try locking and unlocking it. Pulling the inner and outer door handles. *clunk* Something apparently broke, so I said to hell with it, got in, and held the door shut for 8 miles while the door swung open and close in the parking lot from the excessive winds. During my break, I bought a roll of duct tape and took to it. Up, down, across, up, across, down... piece after piece, taping the door shut. Works for me.

I do believe, as soon as my Dad finishes getting my brother's Ranger road-worthy, I'll be parking the Cutlass for good and driving it to work.

Edited by blackviper8891
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Sometimes those latches get "flipped" to the closed position. By trying to slam the door shut repeatedly with the latch "flipped", you probably did more damage to the latch.

WD-40 is your friend. White lithium grease is your friend.

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Sometimes those latches get "flipped" to the closed position. By trying to slam the door shut repeatedly with the latch "flipped", you probably did more damage to the latch.

WD-40 is your friend. White lithium grease is your friend.

Exactly what I was going to say. I remember more than once on cold days the driver's door latch on my Riviera would stick. Nothing a little de-icer and then white lithium grease can't fix. You spent more effort into duct taping that door shut than resetting the latch would have taken. Worst case scenario one of the plastic bushings that hold certain parts of the door linkages broke or perhaps one of the little tabs cast to the back of the door handle did. Ten bucks and an hour of your time could have this problem fixed easy. Just make sure you have a proper panel popper to get the door panel off if it does end up being one of the little plastic bushings or the door handle.

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Exactly what I was going to say. I remember more than once on cold days the driver's door latch on my Riviera would stick. Nothing a little de-icer and then white lithium grease can't fix. You spent more effort into duct taping that door shut than resetting the latch would have taken. Worst case scenario one of the plastic bushings that hold certain parts of the door linkages broke or perhaps one of the little tabs cast to the back of the door handle did. Ten bucks and an hour of your time could have this problem fixed easy. Just make sure you have a proper panel popper to get the door panel off if it does end up being one of the little plastic bushings or the door handle.

Probably something like that. As I said, it wasn't flipped, it was in the open position and it still wouldn't close.

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Dry and brittle, $h!ty when new 20 year-old plastic bushings do usually not fare well on particularly cold days. They'll be on the shelf at your local auto parts store for around five bucks, though; no worries.

Shoot some powdered graphite in the door lock to keep things lubricated from that end as well.

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Is your door sagging? It looks like it might be from the pictures. When you have it open, try grabbing the lower corner of the door (where you now have the tape) and lifting it up. If it moves significantly, you could have a bad hinge pin bushing that's causing the door to sag and bang against the striker. This isn't an uncommon thing among mid-80s GM cars, but it's an easy and cheap enough fix.

1) Support the weight of the door with a jack and/or have someone steady it. It is heavy so you may want to do both.

2) Open the door all the way.

3) Knock out one hinge pin with a hammer.

4) Take out the old bushing.

5) Put in the new bushing.

6) Reinsert the hinge pin.

7) Repeat for other hinges and, if desired, the other door.

Once you do change them, make sure you lube them periodically. That'll extend their life.

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i looked at the pictures and before i had read what happened... i thought you had gone all "woo NASCAR" on us... :lol:

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Forgot to ask you this before: would it kill you to hose the old girl off every once in a while? You live in a salt state; you know what it does! Be nice to the mighty Cutlass and it will be nice to you!

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My grandpa, an Iowa farm boy, has done the same thing-multiple times. You really have no idea of some of the stories I could tell!

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