QUOTE (YellowJacket894 @ Mar 21 2009, 11:42 PM)
That's a tough act to follow. But I think I might have it topped. Back when I used to work at a Marathon station (which was located just a few miles away from Jackson County, one of the biggest white trash meccas of Kentucky), a white trash cracker redneck motherfucker pulled up to pump 3 in a green '80s Dodge Daytona that was, no lie, missing its hood. It also had a red passenger side door, which means he actually managed to find another Daytona to scavenge for parts. The passenger side headlamp was in the open position while the driver's side headlamp was in the closed position and the taillights were fixed with red tape. And, as he pulled away to go back to the backwoods shack he crawled out from, his engine sounded like a horrifying combination of Leatherface's Stihl chainsaw and a sperm whale queefing in a pool of tapicoa pudding. There was also a very disgusting Dodge Spirit that was a regular at that gas station. At some point, it had been drunkenly painted black primer (you could see the original silver-blue paint in patches underneath it), drunkenly re-painted gray primer (you could see the black primer in patches underneath that), then it had caught on fire (there were scorch-marks on the hood and roof). It still ran, surprisingly, by the means of some redneck engineering and a few rolls of duct tape. I think with the economy in the terrible shape its in, I'm going to see a lot more cars like these. White trash rednecks are going to spend a little less on automotive maintenance in order to afford their cheap beer and cheap cigarettes.
Damn YJ, I just about fell out of my chair after reading that one.....