Joke Thread

[trinacriabob]

Q:  What is the difference between a Tesla and a porcupine?

A:  A Tesla has its pricks on the inside.

[trinacriabob]

Not a joke with a punchline, but a saying (even seen on a t-shirt) that I'm very fond of:

Heaven is where ...

... the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian, and it's all organized by the Swiss

Hell is where ...

... the cooks are British, the mechanics are French, the police are German, the lovers are Swiss, and it's all organized by the Italians

[trinacriabob]

With all due respect to Pope Francis and wishing the best for him, there was a one liner joke I heard as a teen said in Italianized English about the church worrying too much about what went on in people's bedrooms:

"He no play da game, he no make da rules."

[G. David Felt]

We'll some will say it is a joke, others will say it defines the current situation of DC.

When a clown moves into a palace he doesn't become a king, the palace instead becomes a circus.
- Turkish proverb

[oldshurst442]

I was asked to join the Flat-Earth Society.

 

They said it would broaden my horizons.

[oldshurst442]

Why does a chicken coup have 2 doors?

 

Because if it had 4, it be a chicken sedan!!!

 

[G. David Felt]

A teacher asks her classroom of students how many are Trump Fans.

All the kids want to be liked by the teacher and raise their hands except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asks Little Johnny why he does not like Trump?

Little Johnny replies, my mom is a Democrat, my dad is a Democrat and so I will be a Democrat too.

The teacher irritated says to Little Johnny, so then if your mom is a Moron and your dad an Idiot, what would that make you?

Little Johnny with a grin on his face looks at the teacher and says, "That would make me a Trump Fan!"

[trinacriabob]

4 hours ago, G. David Felt said:

A teacher asks her classroom of students how many are Trump Fans.

All the kids want to be liked by the teacher and raise their hands except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asks Little Johnny why he does not like Trump?

Little Johnny replies, my mom is a Democrat, my dad is a Democrat and so I will be a Democrat too.

The teacher irritated says to Little Johnny, so then if your mom is a Moron and your dad an Idiot, what would that make you?

Little Johnny with a grin on his face looks at the teacher and says, "That would make me a Trump Fan!"

Here's a depiction of where a school age kid is smarter than a teacher!

Also, such a teacher would need to meet up with some discipline because these sorts of things happen more so than we think.

I once heard a comment about a grade school kid sitting in a car being driven by his parents on the Las Vegas Strip.  He asked how, if casinos were supposedly paying out all this money to customers, they could afford to put up these big fancy buildings.  If you're thinking like that at 10 or 11, you've probably got a Harvard or Stanford MBA in your future.  

When I was his age, I just marveled at cool buildings ... and didn't do much further analysis.