Joke Thread

[trinacriabob]

12 minutes ago, David said:

Q: What is the first thing a Fraternity boy does in the Morning?

A: Changes his sheets!

I like the symmetry here, David.

[trinacriabob]

On 2/22/2021 at 7:52 AM, A Horse With No Name said:

 

How did I miss this?  It again reinforces the notion of what it's like to deal with the "don't know how much they don't know" crowd.

[A Horse With No Name]

[A Horse With No Name]

Oops...

 

 

 

[A Horse With No Name]

[A Horse With No Name]

Clearly an Alpha Male, from an actual fashion show...

[trinacriabob]

^ Haha. 

Like a Southerner in Atlanta once philosophically said to me, "Every pot has its lid."

[trinacriabob]

This is far more about ignorance than it is political, but is it ever funny.  I still remember it, so I looked for it ...

[trinacriabob]

15 hours ago, trinacriabob said:

^ Haha. 

Like a Southerner in Atlanta once philosophically said to me, "Every pot has its lid."

This, too, got a down vote from the resident man child?!?  It's a time worn expression.  It means that, for everything and everyone out there, there's a "buyer" or kindred soul.  Or maybe he has never been to Atlanta ...

The Confederate carving on Stone Mountain, about 15 to 20 miles east of downtown Atlanta:

One can see downtown Atlanta's skyscrapers in the distance from atop Stone Mountain:

One can take a cable sky ride up to the top ... and walk down ... or walk in both directions:

This is Midtown - not even downtown:

This is Perimeter - not even downtown:

This is the soon to open Delta museum, where one of their retired 747-400s will be available to tour:

In short, it's a very cosmopolitan metro area and full of people who know the score.  Only $50 or so each way when on sale from many Northeastern airports.  Highly recommended to broaden one's horizons.

 

[ocnblu]

Funny part is, if you need the validation of an explanation for the downvote, it was because of your incessant stereotyping of people, whether it be by geographical region, or any other of your narrow criteria.  You tend to put ppl in a box to satisfy your own needs, at least, per your posts here.

Then you went ahead and further explained yourself, and it relieved the situation.  Only thing preventing me from giving it an upvote was your subsequent namecalling, so it remains a neutral post, in my own view, not necessarily anyone else's.

I have driven by Atlanta, and I have flown over it.  That's as close as I've gotten.  I have had a Coke, but not since they've gone "woke" (or asleep).

Cancel Culture, a hypersensitive version of political correctness, is eroding solidarity faster than ever before.  We've all enabled it, volleyed from our own islands, and it is not good.

[Robert Hall]

13 minutes ago, ocnblu said:

 

Cancel Culture, a hypersensitive version of political correctness, is eroding solidarity faster than ever before.  We've all enabled it, volleyed from our own islands, and it is not good.

The funny thing is some of the biggest 'cancelers' are the phony-ass 'Christian' right wing idiots with their constant calling of boycotts of anything and everything that 'offends' their delicate sensibilities...the mindless sheep that follow Faux News,  etc. 

Edited March 8, 2021 by Robert Hall

[surreal1272]

35 minutes ago, ocnblu said:

Funny part is, if you need the validation of an explanation for the downvote, it was because of your incessant stereotyping of people, whether it be by geographical region, or any other of your narrow criteria.  You tend to put ppl in a box to satisfy your own needs, at least, per your posts here.

Then you went ahead and further explained yourself, and it relieved the situation.  Only thing preventing me from giving it an upvote was your subsequent namecalling, so it remains a neutral post, in my own view, not necessarily anyone else's.

I have driven by Atlanta, and I have flown over it.  That's as close as I've gotten.  I have had a Coke, but not since they've gone "woke" (or asleep).

Cancel Culture, a hypersensitive version of political correctness, is eroding solidarity faster than ever before.  We've all enabled it, volleyed from our own islands, and it is not good.

GTFO with that. The folks that you back have been taking part in cancel culture for decades. NFL kneeling? Cancel them? Gay couples on tv? Cancel them? Gays adopting? Cancel that too. We go even farther with conservatives going after music in the 80s (PMRC anyone?) and religious groups trying to cancel things like Dungeons and Dragons. Let’s not forget the rampant censuring taking place amongst the GOP ranks, all because they are mad at other GOP members voting country over party. Just shut the entire F up with your hypocritical nonsense already. No one is buying it. Please though, tell us how YOU don’t stereotype folks here. You’ve done it to me and you’ve done it to there’s here so tell us why its different for you but not for us. You do a really nice job of stereotyping China so....

Edited March 8, 2021 by surreal1272

[ocnblu]

Thanks guys, for saving the thread.  Something to laugh at... FINALLY.. in the "JOKE THREAD".  I've been home with vertigo since Wednesday, and it is no joke, so I needed a bit of cheering.

[surreal1272]

1 minute ago, ocnblu said:

Thanks guys, for saving the thread.  Something to laugh at... FINALLY.. in the "JOKE THREAD".  I've been home with vertigo since Wednesday, and it is no joke, so I needed a bit of cheering.

Guess you’re just doing what narcissists do. Don’t ever accept your role in anything that you call out on others. Enjoy your recovery.

[ocnblu]

Thanks, surreal.  I've been on Meclizine per prescription, and that's helped to an extent, now I am Youtubing various exercises.  Sitting at home is not what I do well.

52 minutes ago, ocnblu said:

We've all enabled it, volleyed from our own islands, and it is not good

Repeated for surreal

[surreal1272]

9 minutes ago, ocnblu said:

Thanks, surreal.  I've been on Meclizine per prescription, and that's helped to an extent, now I am Youtubing various exercises.  Sitting at home is not what I do well.

Let me make it clear that despite our many philosophical differences, I do wish for a speedy recovery from that. I get it from time to time and it is absolutely no fun. I will say to look into the diet and exercise option because most meds for that condition come with a host of nasty side effects. It has helped me.

Edited March 8, 2021 by surreal1272

[David]

[David]

Nine ways to deal with a Narcissist.

1. NO
   1. It is ok to say no if you do not feel comfortable with someone
2. Stay on Topic and Do not change the subject
   1. A narcissist will use any argument to make it about themselves, and about some mistake or hurt in the past that you have inflicted on them, whether real or perceived.
3. I will believe it when I see it
   1. Narcissists have a bad habit of over-promising and under-delivering.
4. I'm not overly emotional. I am assertive, strong willed and impassioned.
   1. Do not let someone else define your emotional state unless they are a licensed medical professional.
5. I have learned from and move on from my mistakes
   1. Learning from mistakes is the key to being successful in work and in life.
6. I refuse to be afraid
   1. Fear can be a powerful tool of manipulation, and a narcissist will wield it like a sword.
7. Slow down there speedy
   1. Narcissists and other manipulators want to rush you into a bad decision that benefits them.
8. I am not the bad guy here
   1. Narcissists will try to flip any argument or disagreement into why you are the bad guy and they are the sad little victim.
9. The world does not revolve around you and your needs.
   1. Narcissists are the center of their own universe, but they are not the center of yours.

[A Horse With No Name]

7 hours ago, trinacriabob said:

This, too, got a down vote from the resident man child?!?  It's a time worn expression.  It means that, for everything and everyone out there, there's a "buyer" or kindred soul.  Or maybe he has never been to Atlanta ...

The Confederate carving on Stone Mountain, about 15 to 20 miles east of downtown Atlanta:

One can see downtown Atlanta's skyscrapers in the distance from atop Stone Mountain:

One can take a cable sky ride up to the top ... and walk down ... or walk in both directions:

This is Midtown - not even downtown:

This is Perimeter - not even downtown:

This is the soon to open Delta museum, where one of their retired 747-400s will be available to tour:

In short, it's a very cosmopolitan metro area and full of people who know the score.  Only $50 or so each way when on sale from many Northeastern airports.  Highly recommended to broaden one's horizons.

 

They need to dynamite both Stone Mountain and Mount Rushmore. 

My new pillows...(not really the couch is tacky!)

Cookies I eat on that Sofa...

Not a joke...but cool....untouched Frank Lloyd Wright house for sale. 

https://www.simplemost.com/original-frank-lloyd-wright-minnesota-house-sale/?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=sharing&utm_content=article-before&fbclid=IwAR2muWQuUbUYMVMKQiN2upj1YnbhIsCHmmt6UIhpwOeZcNKFX7TH4Ihwf9g

 

[A Horse With No Name]

Some cars were never meant to be....

[A Horse With No Name]

Only in Ohio....
 

[A Horse With No Name]

On 3/8/2021 at 8:29 AM, ocnblu said:

Funny part is, if you need the validation of an explanation for the downvote, it was because of your incessant stereotyping of people, whether it be by geographical region, or any other of your narrow criteria.  You tend to put ppl in a box to satisfy your own needs, at least, per your posts here.

Then you went ahead and further explained yourself, and it relieved the situation.  Only thing preventing me from giving it an upvote was your subsequent namecalling, so it remains a neutral post, in my own view, not necessarily anyone else's.

I have driven by Atlanta, and I have flown over it.  That's as close as I've gotten.  I have had a Coke, but not since they've gone "woke" (or asleep).

Cancel Culture, a hypersensitive version of political correctness, is eroding solidarity faster than ever before.  We've all enabled it, volleyed from our own islands, and it is not good.

Dude, politics aside, Atlanta is wonderful. You need to visit it in your life time. if you love food, and I know you do....you will be one happy boy eating out and exploring the place. 

Seriously, put gas in the Z71 and drive south...do not pass go, do not collect $200!

23 hours ago, ocnblu said:

Thanks guys, for saving the thread.  Something to laugh at... FINALLY.. in the "JOKE THREAD".  I've been home with vertigo since Wednesday, and it is no joke, so I needed a bit of cheering.

Very sorry you suffer from this. Painful. 

[A Horse With No Name]

Let's keep it to cars guys...too many good things with cars, too many bad things with modern American culture. 

Since being politically correct means believing women can do anything men can...

[A Horse With No Name]

About as political as I will get, I beleive in helmets, but also believe stupid should hurt. 

The Vasa, more positive vibes for Tuesday....more jokes please. 

[A Horse With No Name]

Maybe we can bring surreal and 'blu together over sandwiches....pickle anyone?

Meanwhile, the world we think we understand just keeps getting stranger...

Food can be problematic though...

[A Horse With No Name]

One more political-ish post, but a good philosophy...

[A Horse With No Name]

[A Horse With No Name]

[A Horse With No Name]

One has to wonder...

[A Horse With No Name]

On 3/8/2021 at 8:29 AM, ocnblu said:

Funny part is, if you need the validation of an explanation for the downvote, it was because of your incessant stereotyping of people, whether it be by geographical region, or any other of your narrow criteria.  You tend to put ppl in a box to satisfy your own needs, at least, per your posts here.

Then you went ahead and further explained yourself, and it relieved the situation.  Only thing preventing me from giving it an upvote was your subsequent namecalling, so it remains a neutral post, in my own view, not necessarily anyone else's.

I have driven by Atlanta, and I have flown over it.  That's as close as I've gotten.  I have had a Coke, but not since they've gone "woke" (or asleep).

Cancel Culture, a hypersensitive version of political correctness, is eroding solidarity faster than ever before.  We've all enabled it, volleyed from our own islands, and it is not good.

One more thought on this, Double standards are part of human nature. It is bred into us, sadly. All we can do is try to overcome it as individuals....

Even nations do this...

[David]

Nude guy really messed up the commute on that day. It was freak'in funny and angry trying to get to work for people.

[David]

[oldshurst442]

 

[trinacriabob]

On 3/9/2021 at 9:26 AM, A Horse With No Name said:

This is funny.  One could look at this several ways ...

She is doing a similar thing that people in a So Cal beach town do once a year when they moon an Amtrak train.

Or,

"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

On 3/9/2021 at 11:03 AM, David said:

Love this view - after Two Union Square (1989) but before the implosion of the Kingdome (2000) and the proliferation of all the pretentious high-rise condo towers after that.  A good time to be in Seattle.

[oldshurst442]

 

[A Horse With No Name]

[trinacriabob]

Good morning and Happy Saturday.  Wow, the jokes you hear from grown-ups who went to ... ahem ... parochial schools.  I'll try to clean it up a little bit.

- - - - -

A man is walking along the beach.  He comes across a shiny object in the sand.  As he examines it, it's apparent that it's a genie bottle.  He holds the genie bottle and, suddenly, a genie appears.

The genie tells the man, "Master, I can grant you 3 wishes, and only 3 wishes, and then I will disappear forever.  Think carefully as you can only wish for 3 things."

Man on the beach:  "I want $10 million in the bank."

* cue sound and visual effects of wizardry and magic *

In the man's hands are credible statements for reputable banks with this sum of money in the accounts.

Man on the beach:  “Wow!”

Genie:  "What is your second wish, master?"

Man on the beach:  "I want a 10,000 square foot mansion overlooking the ocean."

* cue sound and visual effects of wizardry and magic *

On the beach, a luxurious mansion appears and, in the man's hands, is the deed showing ownership of this property.

Man on the beach:  “Great!”

Genie:  "What is your third wish, master?  Think carefully as this is your last wish."

Man on the beach:  "I want a d*** that hangs down to my knees."

* cue sound and visual effects of wizardry and magic *

So the genie cut off his legs.

[David]

I always laughed even though maybe not the most polite jokes, but funny still is all the Little Johnny Jokes.

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.” Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?” “No,” said his mom, “Of course not.” Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

 Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?” Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”

23 Little Johnny Jokes That Will Make You Laugh (humoropedia.com)

[Robert Hall]

This is a good geeky one...

Edited March 13, 2021 by Robert Hall

[A Horse With No Name]

[Robert Hall]

5 minutes ago, A Horse With No Name said:

This kid looks a lot like a classmate of mine circa 1980 or so... 

[A Horse With No Name]

Not a joke, but funny...

Product fail...

[A Horse With No Name]

One for Ocnblu...proof that people who vote for Democrats are not always that smart...

[David]

1 hour ago, A Horse With No Name said:

One for Ocnblu...proof that people who vote for Democrats are not always that smart...

Yes look at the state license, more taxation than mine!  

[A Horse With No Name]

[trinacriabob]

On 3/16/2021 at 5:20 PM, David said:

Yes look at the state license, more taxation than mine!  

Hence the nickname "Taxachusetts." 

[David]

5 hours ago, trinacriabob said:

Hence the nickname "Taxachusetts." 

Wow, the images online are too funny!

Who knew Spouse carrying competition was an official sport!  

[trinacriabob]

I could make this a random thought but thought it was more suited to be a joke.

We've heard the expression supporting what is home grown:

"If it ain't Boeing, it ain't going."

Ok, well, the following is a Boeing product, the B-757, and, according to the news, "it ain't going."

Because if you ain't spending the money to fix its Rolls Royce* engines, then it definitely ain't going.

* hmmm, Rolls Royce ... when home grown Pratt & Whitney is "the other" major supplier of engines for this aircraft

[David]

1 hour ago, trinacriabob said:

I could make this a random thought but thought it was more suited to be a joke.

We've heard the expression supporting what is home grown:

"If it ain't Boeing, it ain't going."

Ok, well, the following is a Boeing product, the B-757, and, according to the news, "it ain't going."

Because if you ain't spending the money to fix its Rolls Royce* engines, then it definitely ain't going.

* hmmm, Rolls Royce ... when home grown Pratt & Whitney is "the other" major supplier of engines for this aircraft

So true, I see the NY airport is now looking to confiscate the plane due to the storage cost, repairs needed and Trump ignoring the airport billing. So funny that the so called Billionaire is unable to pay his bills.

Seems he is now traveling in a much less luxury style. 

Photos Reveal Trump's Broken and Grounded Private Plane (businessinsider.com)

OUCH, that Rolls Royce engine is not cheap to fix, but for him it should be pocket change. 

Cheap or broke, interesting and funny.

Joke of the day for this:

 

[trinacriabob]

Q:  What do you call someone at Berkeley on a scholarship?

A:  A "free radical."