My situation - abridged:
Meet guy online, chat for about two weeks, meet for coffee, then dinner. Great first date.
regular dating commences
after about a month and a half into it, we're heading to his sister's LaCrosse match and while I'm driving he takes out some chapstick, applies it to himself, then reaches over and puts some on me... I think it's super sweet and tell him I love him. Tears ensue.
He has no job, but has a decent savings.
Fast forward a few months. We're basically living together in my house and his apartment. He was in the army. He was deployed for 2 months. While away the lease on his apartment runs out. His roommates decide not to continue living there. Everyone parts ways. He has no place to go. His dad and I move his stuff into my house while he is deployed.
Fast forward 5 months: I lose my job but I've already started the real estate investing thing. I decide to do this full time. He still has no job.
He ends up diagnosed with severe restrictive sleep apnea. It's not from weight, he's 130lbs soaking wet, it's from over sized tonsils. He has a tonsillectomy. He has complications in surgery and ends up in the ICU for 4 days. I spend each day by his bedside. I'm there when he comes out of the anesthesia. His priest joins us at one point. The priest knows we're a couple. Privately, he blesses us. I take him home from the hospital and nurse him for 3 or 4 more days.
He starts cosmetology school, funded mostly by the army and the remaining with student loans. This Iraqi war veteran <served in Iraq 20 months total> with a masters degree from an esteemed university wants to paint nails and cut hair as a career.
I support him throughout beauty school. I don't pay for the schooling itself, but I do pay for all living expenses.
I hit a rough spot with my apartment business. I tell him he either needs to get a job or help me out with construction work. He gets a job as a salon receptionist until he has his cosmetology license. I end up having to go back to consulting... I also get a job at a local home improvement chain to get the discount.
He finishes school and gets a job at a very high end salon. I get no help financially towards the running of the house. Around this same time the sex life dies. He claims it's because I'm not happy anymore. I'm working 80 hours a week minimum.
He becomes super secretive. Strange things start popping up around the house. They are "gifts from clients".
A few nights he doesn't even come home. He was "out all night at the bar...with friends" nevermind that he rarely drinks... and he can't remember which friends.
I figure out fairly quickly that he is cheating on me with a very prominent, 69 year old, fat, millionaire who used to be president of a very very conservative publication here in PGH which has direct ties to the outing and continuation of the Monica Lewinsky affair. He quickly finds out that people LOVE to talk and have given me all the details I ask for.
I try to drag us to couples counciling but to no avail. He's gone.
He moved into sugardaddy's mansion where he still lives. He was dumb and left a LOT of stuff behind...including things that are irreplaceable.
I've changed his name to Chas Nicole Smith. Many, if not most, of our friends, and even some of his, have shunned him for 1. what he did and 2. the fact that it creeps them out he's sleeping with a 70 year old fat guy basically for money.
The latter half of the tawdry affair finds it's way into the hands of reporters from a competing, liberal, publication.... though I have no idea how that happened.
About a week prior to my trip to Germany in August, he msges me on AIM saying "I really need to get my stuff back." This is 8 months after he moved out. Being involved in real estate I know the property abandonment laws in Pennsylvania.
My only response to him; "I mean this in the nicest possible way. Rot in hell."
And that is the last time we've had any communication.