Well yeah, since finding out shock-n-awe style on May 15th that the bodyshop I work at would be closed by the end of the munt due to a multi-year drop-off in business (yes, that was today, our last day) despite a golden local reputation that was built over nearly 5 decades, all my staff have been clearly in emotional turmoil. Some have worn it on their sleeves while others have appeared to be resigned (bad word) to the fact almost from the minute of the announcement.
Some wished the axe had dropped immediately and more mercifully, instead of two weeks of torture as we choked off our insurance company contracts and watched our business drop to near zero by the end, while others seemed to wish for some sort of Christmas Mackerel.
Mackerels are few and far between. And I admit freely that my emotions have been all over the map since the announcement.
Shock
Anger
Bitterness
Fear....
Release
Euphoria
Hope
So I am hopeful now that something good will come of this. It has to, after 6 years of pouring my heart and soul into a place that vanished into thin, paint-fumed air seemingly overnight.
Tomorrow, I will travel around the county showing my face and grabbing some applications. 19 years experience have to mean something. SOMEWHERE. And I will keep traveling, applying and calling until I land somewhere.
This kind of test can spark an artistic outburst. All creative people are tormented to some degree, I firmly believe. And torment triggers creativity like nothing else. Of course, the results can vary, from great poetry to mass murder.
I'll stick with something between the two.