I'm back... sort of.
Yes, so for all this time we've been trying to repair our relationship there's
been a lot of ups and downs but throughout it all we've always been open
to a new addition. I esp. do not want Sofia to be an only child. I was one
myself and I wish I had not been for a multitde of reasons, esp. because
of my relationship with my parental units.
Anyway, Marcia told me the other day that a lot of her confusion & recent
"bitchiness" was due to the fact that she was pregnant. So yes the timing
was absolutely crazy and it made for an interesting week... but overall we
had a great talk and things were fantastic.
It was a new beginning and we were going to work it out, I told Beth that
I had to be true to myself and give an honest effort with Marcia. Me & her
still talked although Marcia was pissed about it and Beth was devestated
and very sad that I told her we couldn't be anything more than friends.
This morning Marica had to go to get some blood work done & afterwards
I had to get my drug test done for my new job. When we got home the
hospital called & as soon as I saw her face I just knew. All the combined
medication & or perhaps the stress of the past few weeks or maybe even
just not going off the birth control sooner... well. It was not meat to be.
So that's it. No baby. :_empty_feeling_:
And now that I'm in love with another woman, & not a second
before, Marcia is giving it 100% finally and has completely
turned around her mood & demeanor towards me. Even now
she's crushed by the miscarrige but she seems to want to
work things out more than ever. More so that in the past four
years she's genuinely showing effort. Still I can't go more than
30 minutes without thinking of Beth.