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Oracle of Delphi

The best move Washington has ever made!

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OUTSOURCING ANNOUNCEMENT Washington D.C. -

Congress today announced that the Office of President of the United States will be outsourced overseas as of August 31. The move is being made to save $400K a year in salary, a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead.

"The cost savings will be quite significant" says Congressman Adam Smith (R-Wash) who, with the aid of Congress research arm, the General Accounting Office has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We simply can no longer afford this level of outlay and remain competitive on the world stage," Congressman Smith said. Exporting American jobs has been a popular trend lately, ironically at the urging of President Bush.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of the termination of his position. He will receive health coverage, expenses and salary until his final day of employment. After that, with a two week waiting period, he will then be eligible for $240 a week from unemployment insurance for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be able to receive state Medicaid health insurance coverage as his unemployment benefits are over the required limit. "I'm in shock," Mr. Bush stated. "I thought for sure I'd have some job security around this here place. I have no idea what I'll do now," he further lamented.

Preparations have been underway for some time for the job move. Sanji Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be assuming the Office of President of the United States as of September 1. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his parents were here on student visas, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 USD a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.

Due to the time difference between the US and India, Mr. Singh will be working primarily at night, when offices of the US Government will be open. "I am excited to serve in this position," Mr. Singh stated in an exclusive interview. "Working nights will let me keep my day job at the American Express call center. I always knew I could be President someday."

Congress stressed patience when calling Mr. Singh as he may not be fully aware of all the issues involved with his new position. A Congressional Spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh has been given a script tree to follow which will allow him to respond to most topics of concern. The Spokesperson further noted that "additional savings will be realized as these scripting tools have already been used previously by Mr. Bush here in the US. Such scripts will enable Mr. Singh to provide an answer without having to fully understand the issue itself."

Congress continues to explore other outsourcing possibilities including that of Vice-president and most Cabinet positions.

Edited by Pontiac Custom-S
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Buy up a bunch of bleach...cause if this is how you truly feel, you need to get those surrender flags as white as possible.

And learn Spanish as well.

Oh, and get rid of the car payments, 'cause when the Dems get control, your wages will be going to socializing medicine and funding the illegals!

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Buy up a bunch of bleach...cause if this is how you truly feel, you need to get those surrender flags as white as possible.

And learn Spanish as well.

Oh, and get rid of the car payments, 'cause when the Dems get control, your wages will be going to socializing medicine and funding the illegals!

Ummm, I speak Spanish fluently, and my vehicles are paid off! :AH-HA_wink:

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Buy up a bunch of bleach...cause if this is how you truly feel, you need to get those surrender flags as white as possible.

And learn Spanish as well.

Oh, and get rid of the car payments, 'cause when the Dems get control, your wages will be going to socializing medicine and funding the illegals!

Remind me again who pushed the imigration bill and the medicare prescription drug plan......

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OUTSOURCING ANNOUNCEMENT Washington D.C. -

Mr. Singh stated in an exclusive interview. "Working nights will let me keep my day job at the American Express call center. I always knew I could be President someday."

I wonder if he had ever worked for Dell Service call center...
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Funny and sad at the same time. <_<

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hehe...

some of you should lighten up a little. satire and humour are part of democracy, right? :AH-HA_wink:

Edited by ZL-1
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hehe...

some of you should lighten up a little. satire and humour are part of democracy, right? :AH-HA_wink:

Democracy is defined as being ruled by the people...besides voting idiots into office because none of them are any good so we have little choice...they run the show, the people do not.

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Democracy is defined as being ruled by the people...besides voting idiots into office because none of them are any good so we have little choice...they run the show, the people do not.

yes, but in modern times it is also defined by a set of civil liberties and criticism is one of those civil liberties. that was my point and not the idiots that are elected in every country in the world. i'm watching one (portuguese prime-minister) on tv right now :lol:

as far as politicians running the show instead of people, yes they do manipulate. but if people demanded as much of politicians as they do of hollywood and tv celebrities, the quality of democracy would be much better. in my humble opinion.

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yes, but in modern times it is also defined by a set of civil liberties and criticism is one of those civil liberties. that was my point and not the idiots that are elected in every country in the world. i'm watching one (portuguese prime-minister) on tv right now :lol:

as far as politicians running the show instead of people, yes they do manipulate. but if people demanded as much of politicians as they do of hollywood and tv celebrities, the quality of democracy would be much better. in my humble opinion.

Let me rule the world, I could fix it in a week! :AH-HA_wink:

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yes, but in modern times it is also defined by a set of civil liberties and criticism is one of those civil liberties. that was my point and not the idiots that are elected in every country in the world. i'm watching one (portuguese prime-minister) on tv right now :lol:

as far as politicians running the show instead of people, yes they do manipulate. but if people demanded as much of politicians as they do of hollywood and tv celebrities, the quality of democracy would be much better. in my humble opinion.

Politicians don't run the show: the self-interest groups and lobbyists do. They hijack the agenda and the real issues never get discussed. Every municipal election for Toronto, the "poverty industry" rallyes for more homes for the "homeless" , increases to the minimum wage and more money for welfare, while Toronto spirals into a cesspool of crime, traffic gridlock and bankruptcy. Municipal politics are the worst, but do you notice how it seems to be the same issues that get beaten to death during elections, but the "meaty" stuff gets ignored?

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+ 1 - Politicians are nothing more than figureheads. I am personally tired of the lot of them and would like to make it a rule that you cannot serve for more than 8 years in ANY branch of government so that people are forced to have a fix on the real world BEFORE they become elitist pricks who govern from on high...

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Let me rule the world, I could fix it in a week! :AH-HA_wink:

:lol:

Municipal politics are the worst

i don't know toronto, so this is the only thing i can commment, and i have to say that i agree with you. it's the same thing over here: there's a municipal election in lisbon this weekend and no real issues have been discussed in the campaign. it's all been about personal attack...
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I think anyone who wants to run for office should automatically be disqualified. All offices should be filled by lottery. Every citizen, over 18 years of age with no criminal record (okay, let me rephrase that - with no reasonable criminal record) who can pass a basic aptitude test would have their name put in the lottery.

I honestly cannot see how that method could produce any worse governments than we have now. The politicking, the prostitution of everything that is good and honest, the sheer amount of total bull&#036;h&#33;..........ARGH!

I NEED A DRINK!

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Interesting thread.

"Democracy is the worst form of government - except for all the rest"

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Interesting thread.

"Democracy is the worst form of government - except for all the rest"

"Democracy will eventually do the right thing.... after it's tried everything else"

yes it's paraphrased....

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"Democracy is the worst form of government - except for all the rest"

my favourite Winston Churchill quote! Edited by ZL-1
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The implication that we'll somehow be worse off by electing a Democrat to the office is offensive to all senses of reason. Even a cursory review of W's actions in office should make that clear.

The current President makes Carter look effective, Ford look competent, and Nixon look open and honest.

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Bush sucks, but I can't imagine what idiot we'll put in there next.

Where have the leaders gone? Why can't anyone just do what's right for the masses? Why can't we have a political CHOICE that isn't radical in some way?

These are the three things that make me anti-everything the government stands for.

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The implication that we'll somehow be worse off by electing a Democrat to the office is offensive to all senses of reason. Even a cursory review of W's actions in office should make that clear.

The current President makes Carter look effective, Ford look competent, and Nixon look open and honest.

Yep. I simply can't see it getting any worse...

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Any leader who actually speaks his/her mind will get run out of town, to put it simply. It's govern by opinion poll. That isn't leadership, that is following.

And the lobbyists hijack the agenda every election. It is never about issues that really matter, but about who can drum up enough support for their whack-job policy.

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