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In the great desert lived a band of nomads. Their leader, Benny, had risen to his rank due to his magnificent beard. His people believed a man's strength and courage came from his beard, and thus the man with the biggest beard was their chief.
After leading the band for many years, Benny began to fell uncomfortable wearing the beard, in this hot and dusty land. He wanted to shave it off, so he called his council together to get their advice.
When he said he wanted to shave, the councilmen were shocked. One said, "Do you not remember the ancient legend, Sire. The leader who removes his beard is cursed and made into a piece of earthenware."
Benny had heard this legend, but being a modern man, he scoffed at the tale.
Being headstrong, he went ahead and cut and scraped away his once magnificent beard. As the final whisker was cut off, a huge dust storm came up. It lasted only a few seconds, and when it cleared, there was a man-sized clay vessel where only moments before had stood their leader.
The council then knew the legend must be true. Their conclusion? "A Benny shaved is a Benny urned."
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A Frenchman, a German, and an Irishman are sitting at a bar having a drink.
The Frenchman looks down at his drink and notices a fly in it. "Sacrebleu!" he exclaims, and throws his drink out over the bar.
The German looks down at his drink and also notices a fly in it. "Ach, scheiss!" he shouts, and does as the Frenchman did.
The Irishman looks down at his drink and also sees a fly in it. He grabs the fly by the wings and shakes it violently yelling "Spit it out, spit it out!"