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CARBIZ

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW INERT ELEMENT

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As reported in the National Post yesterday, http://www.financialpost.com/story.html?id=445465 :

"The online science magazine Tomorrow's Discoveries, which specializes in breaking major science news before it actually happens, reports the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 29 assisstant neutrons, some 100 deputy neutrons, and 222 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 352.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of four or five years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the various 'flavors' of neutrons exchange places amongst themselves. In fact, Governmentiums mass will actually increase in size over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quality is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Superscale Civilservicium, an elusive element that radiates just as much negative energy as Governmentium, having fewer peons but twice as many morons."

There, now you have it, boys and girls. Big government explained.

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The Universality of Governments explained. It applies to all governments, local and national. American, Canadian, British...

LONG LIVE THE PERIODIC TABLE

-1 dugg down for innacurate.

:lol:

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I think there's a serious Govermentarium leak at local RMV.

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Sweet! Thanks for posting that.

Chris

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