Jump to content
Create New...

For Sale: Certified Pre-Owned Boyfriend


Recommended Posts

Low mileage, super-charged, no scratches or dings, slim attractive design. Performs great, but requires premium fuel. Recommend only filling up at Macy’s or Saks otherwise performance not guaranteed. Fuel from other locations may cause failure to start. People afraid of exotic Italian maintenance costs should look elsewhere.

Was fun when I first got it, as the maintenance bills piled up, the fun factor went down. Requires synthetic oil. Recently being used by other drivers, but always garaged at home. Requires *HUGE* amount of garage space for the multitude of tires.

Has NAV system, but generally drives where it wants, when it wants without regard for the owner. NAV system appears faulty as it frequently loses input, mis-interprets input, or ignores input all together.

No warranty. All malfunctions are the result of “driver error”…..or so I’m told.

Link

Edited by Oldsmoboi
Link to comment
Share on other sites

*chuckles*

This reminds me of a TG Sheppard song ... "One Owner Heart"....

some of the lyrics:

"Put an ad in the paper today, low mileage heart, must move right away

Pick up the phone, I hear somebody say, she says, hey does your heart, still run like it should?

I said, yes, but since she left me it don't do me no good, I gotta....

One owner heart ... she only drove me crazy on Sundays, guaranteed to start, this one owner heart"

he he

Cort:33swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve.pacemaker

PICS:lego.HO.model.MCinfo.RT.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"It's just a matter of time" ... TG Sheppard ... 'Somewhere Down The Line'

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Very funny and clever, but I'm a little dense on this one. :stupid: This is a joke, right? Does the party being described (yes, I know who it is) know about this interesting exercise in wordmanship?

As of yet, I don't know that he's seen it.... but no, it's not a joke. As of Monday night he moved out and we're in trial separation. He thinks it's just a temporary thing....as of now, I don't think I want him back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A little hot around the collar

A little long in the tooth

Alittle bit nostalgic for the errors of your youth

Everybody says you're crazy

Everybody says you're nuts

Everybody say, You just picked up and ran? Man, that takes guts.

Free and easy

Miserable and confused

Guilty as charged

The trial separation blues

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dont need your sympathy

Theres nothing you can say or do for me

And I dont want a miracle

Youll never change for no one

I hear your reasons why

Where did you sleep last night?

And was she worth it, was she worth it?

cos Im strong enough

To live without you

Strong enough and I quit crying

Long enough now Im strong enough

To know you gotta go

Theres no more to say

So save your breath

And then walk away

No matter what I hear you say

Im strong enough to know you gotta go

So you feel misunderstood

Baby, have I got news for you

On being used, I could write a book

You dont wanna hear about it

Ive been losing sleep

Youve been going cheap

She aint worth half of me its true

Im telling you

Now Im strong enough to live without you

Strong enough and I quit crying

Long enough now Im strong enough

To know you gotta go

Come hell or waters high

Youll never see me cry

This is our last goodbye, its true

Im telling you

That Im strong enough to live without you

Stron enough and I quit crying

Long enough now Im strong enough

To know you gotta go

Theres no more to say

So save your breath

And you walk away

No matter what I hear you say

Im strong enough to know you gotta go

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Well jeez, thanks I guess! You did see my dorky looking pic at 25 didn't you? I've come a long way since then! :smilewide:

Mind blowing, isn't it? That a person can look better at 27 than 17, and then better at 37 than 27. At 17, I had the "pepperoni on the face" action going. At 27, I had hair that was still too full and needed to be cut shorter. Some people just get their act together later, right?

Edited by trinacriabob
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...

Hey there, we noticed you're using an ad-blocker. We're a small site that is supported by ads or subscriptions. We rely on these to pay for server costs and vehicle reviews.  Please consider whitelisting us in your ad-blocker, or if you really like what you see, you can pick up one of our subscriptions for just $1.75 a month or $15 a year. It may not seem like a lot, but it goes a long way to help support real, honest content, that isn't generated by an AI bot.

See you out there.

Drew
Editor-in-Chief

Write what you are looking for and press enter or click the search icon to begin your search

Change privacy settings