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For Sale: Certified Pre-Owned Boyfriend


Drew Dowdell

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Low mileage, super-charged, no scratches or dings, slim attractive design. Performs great, but requires premium fuel. Recommend only filling up at Macy’s or Saks otherwise performance not guaranteed. Fuel from other locations may cause failure to start. People afraid of exotic Italian maintenance costs should look elsewhere.

Was fun when I first got it, as the maintenance bills piled up, the fun factor went down. Requires synthetic oil. Recently being used by other drivers, but always garaged at home. Requires *HUGE* amount of garage space for the multitude of tires.

Has NAV system, but generally drives where it wants, when it wants without regard for the owner. NAV system appears faulty as it frequently loses input, mis-interprets input, or ignores input all together.

No warranty. All malfunctions are the result of “driver error”…..or so I’m told.

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Edited by Oldsmoboi
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*chuckles*

This reminds me of a TG Sheppard song ... "One Owner Heart"....

some of the lyrics:

"Put an ad in the paper today, low mileage heart, must move right away

Pick up the phone, I hear somebody say, she says, hey does your heart, still run like it should?

I said, yes, but since she left me it don't do me no good, I gotta....

One owner heart ... she only drove me crazy on Sundays, guaranteed to start, this one owner heart"

he he

Cort:33swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve.pacemaker

PICS:lego.HO.model.MCinfo.RT.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"It's just a matter of time" ... TG Sheppard ... 'Somewhere Down The Line'

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Very funny and clever, but I'm a little dense on this one. :stupid: This is a joke, right? Does the party being described (yes, I know who it is) know about this interesting exercise in wordmanship?

As of yet, I don't know that he's seen it.... but no, it's not a joke. As of Monday night he moved out and we're in trial separation. He thinks it's just a temporary thing....as of now, I don't think I want him back.

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A little hot around the collar

A little long in the tooth

Alittle bit nostalgic for the errors of your youth

Everybody says you're crazy

Everybody says you're nuts

Everybody say, You just picked up and ran? Man, that takes guts.

Free and easy

Miserable and confused

Guilty as charged

The trial separation blues

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I dont need your sympathy

Theres nothing you can say or do for me

And I dont want a miracle

Youll never change for no one

I hear your reasons why

Where did you sleep last night?

And was she worth it, was she worth it?

cos Im strong enough

To live without you

Strong enough and I quit crying

Long enough now Im strong enough

To know you gotta go

Theres no more to say

So save your breath

And then walk away

No matter what I hear you say

Im strong enough to know you gotta go

So you feel misunderstood

Baby, have I got news for you

On being used, I could write a book

You dont wanna hear about it

Ive been losing sleep

Youve been going cheap

She aint worth half of me its true

Im telling you

Now Im strong enough to live without you

Strong enough and I quit crying

Long enough now Im strong enough

To know you gotta go

Come hell or waters high

Youll never see me cry

This is our last goodbye, its true

Im telling you

That Im strong enough to live without you

Stron enough and I quit crying

Long enough now Im strong enough

To know you gotta go

Theres no more to say

So save your breath

And you walk away

No matter what I hear you say

Im strong enough to know you gotta go

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  • 2 weeks later...

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