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I'm too bored to live!


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Ugh! Another Saturday night has come and gone. My life has settled into such a rut. I can sit in a chair and practically imagine the entire weekend in my head to the extenet that the experience would be nearly the same as living it. Shopping, cleaning, laundry, paying bills, going to the gym, going out to the bars...it's all become so repetitive and boring, I'm going a little crazy.

Even the coming of spring just adds more home maintenance and yardwork into the mix. I try to shake things up to the extent I can, but being single I have to do everything myself. Getting the things done I have to do leaves me only a small amount of time for fun. All of my friends that I do things with socially are 'coupled' and I can only take that that feeling of being a fifth wheel for so long before it gets to me.

So, all of you other single guys, how do you keep your life from becoming repetitive and mundane?

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Yeah, I have various interests, but I must be going through a phase or something. Nothing really seems interesting to me. Maybe it's just too much work or the post-winter, pre-spring blahs.

I suspect this might be why we aren't immortal. We truly would go nuts if we lived forever.

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I, too, feel a bit "repetitive and mundane".

Tho, my MCs (during the spring/summer/fall months, anyway) help alleviate some of that feeling ... as do my yearly road trips.

Then again ... I have way too many interests to be bored. My problem usually is figuring out what I want to do when I have free time ... he he.

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Ugh! Another Saturday night has come and gone. My life has settled into such a rut.

So, all of you other single guys, how do you keep your life from becoming repetitive and mundane?

Usonia, you don't post much, but sometimes, when you do, it tends toward being dour and that concerns me. I hope you are working at being "your own best friend." That's a good place to start. After that, you wouldn't believe how people gravitate toward you, more than you may want.

I spent the first part of last week in LV and the second part in LA. A friend of mine from childhood now lives there and she has never married. She commented on how she likes being single (she's at least a 7 in looks, too) because she doesn't want to put up with all the crap/baggage that people bring...so the grass may look greener to you regarding those people you know who are paired up.

I am a little too relaxed these days, having quit my job at the end of February and expecting to finish up a master's degree (another one :stupid: ) in about 7 weeks, which is at night, but I overloaded to finish. So, I'm at Hoover Dam and start talking to this chick from South America at the viewpoint because I hear her speaking Spanish and she gives me 3 phone numbers to come visit her in Venezuela. Then, a couple days later, I'm at DHS (Desert Hot Springs, about 25 min. north of Palm Springs) en route to LA at the tacky mineral pools there, and another woman proceeds to give me her phone number, telling me that if I come to the desert, there's no need to spend money because she has a guest house. This kind of $h! NEVER happens to me...especially 3 days apart. My friend in LV tells me she's never seen me so relaxed. Maybe that has something to do with it. Do you come off as unhappy and uptight? Maybe you need to get to a more "WTF" kind of state.

I haven't a clue as to where you live; therefore, I don't know what your area offers. I really enjoy spending time by myself. I travel by myself and, except for some awkward situations being in restaurants by myself, I'm totally cool with it. So, I travel, go to Barnes and Noble to read travel books (or car/aviation mags), take drives (such as to Lake Tahoe) to bask in its grandeur, hit the gym (not too regular), talk to friends in other states or take naps. I don't like having people in my life that are bad for me just because it "looks better" to be "paired up." You shouldn't either.

Hope that helps!

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usonia, you and I have some of the same concerns. I am in that rut. Yesterday I plodded through with my eyes half closed, I didn't even go to the gym, I just felt... blah, bored to tears, basically. I see my plant beds need a spring spruce-up, and that'll be good for me, but I just don't feel like doing it... it would be great to have someone to help with that.

Next Saturday is "Volunteer Spring Cleanup" day up at the campground, I might go if the weather is decent. That'll be a break in the slog.

I have allowed a person to put my life on hold, and I really need for something to happen there, good or bad. This holding pattern is numbing. :hissyfit:

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Having a job where you work EVERY SATURDAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE helps to while away the boredom. Or, you could get a dog that likes to eat papers and napkins from the street. Mine kept me up half the night. My partner and I came home from a very awful bar a 12:30 a.m. to discover a river of $h! in the hallway. I walked through the pee before I realized he had left that extra gift, too. I got up at 2:30 to pee myself and discovered more rivers of $h! in the hall (at least not on the carpet!). Now, I am looking at the balcony and it is a river of $h!. GOOD MORNING SUNDAY LOL!

Seriously, Usonia, I agree with some of the above guys: you need to get out in the world and shake it up. Fun things will come to you. I am one of the fortunate people who has never really been single since I left home at 17 (29 years ago - hey, that's how old I tell people I am!), but my current partner works a lot and while he was working 50 hour weeks AND taking English classes, it was tough. I would often go out with my single friends to the clubs and dance till dawn, knowing that I was coming home to an empty bed. The dog (despite my feelings at this very moment!) has been a big help.

Just because I am in a very good mood this morning: I have a very big secret to share with you. I tested positive for HIV 16 years ago, and until 2 months ago I was healthy as a horse, so to speak. Other than a bout of shingles in '01 (I was sick as hell as the WTC came crashing down!), I never needed meds and could out-drink, out party any of my friends. Something happened in early January and my CD4 (which has been 230ish for the past 15 years) suddenly crashed to 78. My doctor (one of the top AIDS pracititioners in the country) freaked and (gently) nagged me to get on meds. Five days before our 3 week holiday in Brazil, I was flat on my back, sick as hell (I took a bad reaction to Sulfatrim, which he insisted I take to ward off pneumonia), not selling any cars at work (obviously) and my partner was beside himself because we hadn't gotten cancellation insurance on our $4,000 in tickets.

Did that get me down? No. My motto has always been: FIVE YEARS FROM NOW I WILL LOOK BACK UPON THIS AND LAUGH.

That has always comforted me through the bad times (like turning 40 alone and single because my partner of 10 years left me for a younger guy!) (BTW, he wants me back - so life does have a sense of humour!)

Anyway, I am telling you this to let you know that you never know what is around the corner. I have been on Truvada and Sustiva (the current "gold standards" of HIV medicine) for a week now and I feel like a million bucks. I cant wait to have my blood work done in another 3 weeks because I KNOW things are on the up. Hell, last night I wanted to stay out dancing and my partner was tired! (he is negative, BTW)

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i find that if you have the time, get into creative things like writing books or music, art, design, etc. Anything that uses your creativity and exercises the mind.

Listening to and being a fan of music and movies can help.

Networking with work buddies will help. It depends on where you work. i have worked where people are all duds but some workplaces have others who can help you develop some friendships that may evolve beyond casual.

Chuch works as an event for some.

Since I am married now it is more a matter of not enough time for anything.

Follow your interests and don't apolgize for the things you are interested in. But honestly, getting out and circulating and doing things really is the best way to try to fight off boredom or the blues. Get involved in things outside your home and job. Charities even. Freindships and realtionships develop through meeting others who participate in the same life events you do. Just keep getting out and about and being energetic and positive.

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Usonia, you don't post much, but sometimes, when you do, it tends toward being dour and that concerns me.

Thank you for your concern, but please don't worry, I'm actually OK. I probably shouldn't ask these types of questions without putting them more in context. I know I'm not unique by any means . I assume other people must be going through situations similar to mine and this is a good place to get feeback from a diverse group of people. (I also want to give a quick thanks to everyone who posted a reply, I appreciate it.)

You are right, I don't start topics often and when I do, they are philosophical in nature and they tend to be more negative than positive. However, that's a good thing. I don't ask questions about good things in life or things I think I've figured out. Since my topics are few and far between, that means my life has more positives (or neutrals) than negatives.

I believe life has no meaning in and of itself. It is up to each of us to find and/or create the meaning in our lives. I have several areas of interest that I enjoy, but for the most part, the real meaning in my life comes from the people I've been lucky enough to know well. I'm sorry there haven't been more I can put into that category, but since I'm not very comfortable with most people I meet, I tend to keep them at arms length. I'm more of a loner than a big socializer and while that presents its own set of issues at times, I've accepted it and I'm OK with it.

I'm really not a negative person, I'm just trying to figure out 'life' and understand myself better. One way I see to do that is to get other people's perspectives on similar situations. My family seems to have very good genetics. I suspect I have many more years to figure this 'life' thing out. But, if I don't get it done before I check out of this life and into the next one (whatever that may be) I'm going to be demanding some answers from somebody!! 8)

Boredom is all I have. I treasure it.

Care to elaborate?

I have allowed a person to put my life on hold, and I really need for something to happen there, good or bad. This holding pattern is numbing.

I've only been in that position once and yeah, it was frustrating. Don't wait too long dude, you can't let anyone else have that much control over your life.

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If it weren't for my grades entering a state of free-fall this quarter and the prospect of getting my provisional license, I'd be in the same boat. Being bored is just something I've grown accustomed to over the years, mainly because I've been bound to staying at my house for one reason or another (last year was the first year I've been out of the house over the summer on a regular basis, I got a job at my parents' company). I'll probably need to stay home this summer to babysit my 6-year old cousin who's living with us now, but with some of my friends getting cars, I think I'll be going out a little bit, too.

Don't give up, though...something will come along to get you out of your rut, I've learned that over the years, too.

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I figured Reg would have just suggested 'beer and strippers' but his response has some good ideas too.


actually, i saw something in another thread about dating barely legal japanese girls who dress like video game characters.

oh yeah, oh yeah.

Edited by regfootball
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Haha... Sure. I'm simply saying being bored is alot better than other things I could be. I'm generally always bored and while it sucks, it's not that bad. I only lose my mind every other week or so. :P

Hey BV, if while your mind is lost it sees mine would you have it call me? With family and work, I lost mine a long time ago.

I wish being bored was a problem right now. I am trying to wind down from last night's work and get to bed soon. Whenever I start to get bored the wife finds something for me to do, the "Honey-Do" list is usually quite long. Oh well, something on the list usually has to do with our cars, so it could be worse.

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