How to be politically Correct

[daves87rs]

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians,Tennesseans, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. And furthermore .

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER' -She is'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.'

3. She is not EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD' - She is 'REALITY IMPAIRED.'

7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY' - She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'

8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS' - She is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.'

9. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

10. She is not a 'TRAMP' - She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.'

11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS' - She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.'

12 She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER' - He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.'

6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK' - He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.'

7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG' - He has 'SWINE EMPATHY.'

9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT' - He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.'

10. He is not 'HORNY' - He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.'

11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants-It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE'

Please use your best judgment when referring to these people, so as to make it more comfortable for the rest of us.

[Blake Noble]

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians,Tennesseans, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

:rotflmao:

I wonder if all of the inbreds in Jackson County will refer to the term "hillbilly" as a racist term now ... and what would happen if you called one of them that.

[loki]

some are quite funny... but overall.... it's just sad.

[FAPTurbo]

5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

[balthazar]

Curious: Do blacks in the U.K. refer to themselves as 'African-European'?

[daves87rs]

some are quite funny... but overall.... it's just sad.

Yeah, I wasn't sure if it was going to fly here...some were real funny-some were just stupid.....

Hopefully they don't send someone after me....

[ZL-1]

[K.C.]

[Lamar]

Curious: Do blacks in the U.K. refer to themselves as 'African-European'?

If from the UK, "African British," as I understand.

"Afro-European" would refer to everywhere in Europe.

[A Horse With No Name]

Actually, Derek, a very good long term (15+ year) friend of mine who is black was offended when I refered to him as African-American.

"I'm not from Africa, and don't ever forget it...I'm American Dammit, just American...."

Chris

[Lamar]

Actually, Derek, a very good long term (15+ year) friend of mine who is black was offended when I refered to him as African-American.

"I'm not from Africa, and don't ever forget it...I'm American Dammit, just American...."

Chris

We're not all hung up on that, though. Someone can call me Black or African-American, it doesn't make a difference to me.

[loki]

We're not all hung up on that, though. Someone can call me Black or African-American, it doesn't make a difference to me.

it is a collectivist idea that "black" and "african american" puts you in a group that you may or maynot "belong to". it's a trait you have, but shouldn't define you.

American does put you into a group too, but one you can't pick out based on a visual que.

[K.C.]

Actually, Derek, a very good long term (15+ year) friend of mine who is black was offended when I refered to him as African-American.

"I'm not from Africa, and don't ever forget it...I'm American Dammit, just American...."

Chris

He has a point. Sounds like good peoples to me.

[jcgable]

Love it!

[Lamar]

it is a collectivist idea that "black" and "african american" puts you in a group that you may or maynot "belong to". it's a trait you have, but shouldn't define you.

American does put you into a group too, but one you can't pick out based on a visual que.

True that.

In several countries, collectivism like that doesn't exist. Like you said, skin color does remain just a trait and not a classification.

[FUTURE_OF_GM]

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

My favorite... Partially because I'm a white guy and I can't dance to save my life.

[daves87rs]

My favorite... Partially because I'm a white guy and I can't dance to save my life.

Me either.