toesuf94

In an effort to help the Struggling Toyota truck Program

27 posts in this topic

We have all seen the Tundras, and now the FJ, sitting on the lots - even as rebates begin to hit the "IT'S FREE!!!" status. I have come up with a few possible special editions that may help Toyota move some of the inventory and get the sales back on track. Just a few of my early ideas, and I would love to hear yours!

For the FJ Cruiser:

The San Andreas Fault Edition - You never know where it will crack next! To help hide the unsightly cracks, I suggest a stripe kit that has the look of ripped asphalt at the belt line.

The Zebra/safari edition: Again - those stripes will really keep the unsightly cracks out of the public eye.

The Tundra:

The Honey Bee Edition: There have to be some of the honeycomb wheel covers left from the days of the B210...a bright yellow paint scheme will look great with the piano black trim! Nostalgic buyers from the 70's will be all over these.

The Tom Cruise "Cocktail" edition. Simple. Paint them with the 80's neon colors of the movie logo and bolt a martini shaker in the bed - have customers drive over semi-smooth pavement to really shake things up! Beach Boys Kokomo Sountrack optional. Excellent for tailgate parties!

The CAM-RE Edition: The name says it all - it will be re-cammed in the first year, plus the name works well on ugly cars, why not on the truck?

The TURD edition: Toyota Urban Racing Division - because getting to Wal-mart first means less time waiting in line at the gas pumps thanks to my sub-par fuel economy!

Any others I missed???

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Since they are assembled in San Antonio, how about a Tundra 'Don't Mess With Texas' edition, with big Texas flag logo decals and steerhorns on the hood? :)

And how about a Camry Kentucky Derby edition, to celebrate their Kentucky heritage?

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Since they are assembled in San Antonio, how about a Tundra 'Don't Mess With Texas' edition, with big Texas flag logo decals and steerhorns on the hood? :)

And how about a Camry Kentucky Derby edition, to celebrate their Kentucky heritage?

Oh, the big steer horns would really set off the ugly face of the tundra! Maybe they could mount the horns up high on the roof of the truck like a visor? That way they would not interfere with the engine swap that will be needed when the cams snap or they sludge up!

And the Camry DERBY edition I would want to see has a whole other meaning!

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Tundra - great fuel economy edition. Comes with a free Corolla in the back. Hope the truck can handle that weight... probably not.

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What about a Camry Heritage edition?

Comes in a muddy, brownish shade of pink.

A curly tail complements the snout already found the front of all new Camry models.

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The Tundra WBR edition

WBR "WannaBe Redneck" for those of us who got picked on in school by those pesky real men and their inefficient domestic trucks.

Package includes:

- REALTree camo racing stripes, so you can let all those 'ol boys' know that this is one CAMMIN' hot engine!

- Chrome diamond plate brush guard for herding those CostCo shopping carts out of your favorite parking space.

- A "fishin' pole rack" on the back window to hang your "fishin' poles" on. (Because we at Toyota don't condone guns)

- Free see thru rear window decal of your favorite scene in nature, or your favorite "heritage banner"

- Oversized Yosemite Sam style exhaust tips with complementary "Back Off!" Yosemite Sam hitch insert.

- Oversized tires for all your urban off roading needs including hopping the median to pull an illegal u turn and those gravel parking lots in 'the boonies' at your son/daughters soccer complex.

ACT NOW! and we'll throw in a free year of our universally renouned "Yupster" friend system! Choose from the following HIP and COOL ride-a-long partners for your Tundra WBR:

- "Favorite Frat Boy Buddie" -- A little too high fashion to be completely heterosexual yet glistening with tanned muscles; no farm boy will mess with you when this beer fueled 'bad ass' is riding along. After all, any trouble he gets into can easily be solved by mommy and daddy's check book. $39.99/month

- "Big Fat White Trash Hoe" She's big, she's angry and she's got A LOT to say. Those 'hay seed' plowboys will know you mean business when the flab starts flying and the profanity starts rolling from the passenger side of your Tundra. With optional Budweiser can throwing mechanism $59.99/month

- "My Gangsta" urban deterrent. -- Ain't no hommie gonna dis' you when this playa-playa be leaning out the window. Comes complete with his own repetitive rap tunes that emphasize 'bitch' the "F" word and the dreaded "N" word as well as a small smoke machine that simulates pot smoke and crack fumes. Option package S5R bundles this and custom 24" chrome plated wheels $89.99/month

- "Blonde Bimbo Beach B*tch" -- Crunk your ride out in SoCal with this bleached hair, orange skinned beauty. For a limited time this package comes with a gift certificate to your favorite tier 2 LA plastic surgeon. Great for clubin' and other dumb $h! that involves blowing YOUR money but showing YOUR friends how much better than them you are.. This blondes for you! **CAUTION: This model may go on incoherent drunken rants about how much her life sucks because you bought her the $200 shoes instead of the $500 shoes. In the event this happens, consult your local street corner and eject model as quickly as possible. $109.99/month

- "The Toyota Client" -- Complete your package with this model made especially for and of TOYOTA buyers. Includes poorly dressed older man with faded leather 'strap adjustable' hat. Now features custom 'like minded' Toyota menatlity to constantly reassure you of your purchase decision while simultaneuosly reciting the current top 101 reasons not to buy domestic vehicles. Model can also talk to you about miscellaneuos subjects that aren't of particular interest to 99% of the population such as swimming, tennis, personal aircraft and the various US Olympic teams. Pamper yourself, feel exclusitivity and superiority at it's best with this additional knowledge that we gurantee none of your friends will know anything about. Order now for your free matching US Olympic team sponsorship hat. Hat features screen printed limited edition "Team Toyota; Team America" logo with colorful NASCAR style embroidery. $129.99/month

Edited by FUTURE_OF_GM
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How about the Prius Whiner Edition :cry:

Includes:

Horn of a crying baby

Wine exterior color/new burgundy wine plaid cloth interior

Anti-GM sticker on rear windshield

New bumper/grille fascia shaped like a frown

Complimentary PETA membership for the life of the warranty

Navigation system with exclusive Fran Dresher's "The Nanny" voice

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Or The "Prius Envy" SE

Featuring exclusive "Envy Green Metallic" paint, a free Al Gore sticker (As part of the buyoff for getting his son out of jail) and a big framed picture of the Chevrolet Volt in the center of the dash with custom painted caption**

** Choose from the following

1) "Moving Forward... Except not as fast as this."

2) "I love what the Volt does for me! OB-SOLETE."

3) "The Passionate Pursuit of an actual game changing green car."

Or we could do a 'blob' special edition, complete with blob color 2 stage paint and $500 worth of 'Here comes the blob' fan club merchandise.

Here's one the target demographic could identify with: The Apple IIe Prius. Complete with ghetto green lettering on all of the gauges, a slight humming sound when in use (No really, that's actually the engine) and dingy brown paint with exclusive 'old keyboard stain' hubcaps. Even better; we'll make everything ass backwards and hard to deal with just like the real Apple IIe's.

Act now for your free console/travel edition of Oregon Trail!

oooh... Sorry, looks like Bob just died of syphilis....

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How about the "Homeless Shelter" special edition. We could put all of thsoe trucks that are just sitting on dealer lots to work housing the homeless.

....and since the trucks would never need to move we wouldn't even need to worry about bad camshafts...or bad fuel economy.

Chris

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Or The "Prius Envy" SE

Featuring exclusive "Envy Green Metallic" paint, a free Al Gore sticker (As part of the buyoff for getting his son out of jail) and a big framed picture of the Chevrolet Volt in the center of the dash with custom painted caption**

** Choose from the following

1) "Moving Forward... Except not as fast as this."

2) "I love what the Volt does for me! OB-SOLETE."

3) "The Passionate Pursuit of an actual game changing green car."

Or we could do a 'blob' special edition, complete with blob color 2 stage paint and $500 worth of 'Here comes the blob' fan club merchandise.

Here's one the target demographic could identify with: The Apple IIe Prius. Complete with ghetto green lettering on all of the gauges, a slight humming sound when in use (No really, that's actually the engine) and dingy brown paint with exclusive 'old keyboard stain' hubcaps. Even better; we'll make everything ass backwards and hard to deal with just like the real Apple IIe's.

Act now for your free console/travel edition of Oregon Trail!

oooh... Sorry, looks like Bob just died of syphilis....

:rotflmao:

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:lol:

FOG, those were GREAT! I nominate your posts for Cheers & Jeers 2007.

Edited by mustang84
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It seems like FOG has been thinking about this for awhile now. :lol:

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If Toyota really wanted to move product they could just PAY people to take them off the lots.

Hell, I'd take a Tundra if a dealer paid me to take it off their hands. 'Course, I'd probably just use the money to buy a plane ticket to Japan, build a big pyre out in front of Toyota HQ and torch the motherf@#ker.

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Oh man. I'm not sure what to say to that one. :ph34r:

Edited by K.C.
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i like the CAM-RE edition. that one had me ROTFLMAO.

fog's post though, was for the ages.

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But I thought the FJ Cruiser was selling really well, I think I read somewhere, the plant is really cracking them out to meet demand.

Rumors continue to fly that my local Toyota dealer is planning a big "Camshaft Busting Sale!" to move unsold Tundras. I'll post pics as soon as the banners go up.

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For Peter Gabriel Fans - the following editions are available:

The SLUDGEHAMMER! (The name says it all!)

SO! ( as in so what I only get a 4-star crash rating )

IN YOUR EYES Edition...cause you cannot help but notice this ugly beast on the road

BIG TIME Edition: We are going to incentivise this thing BIG TIME!

Each of it's owner's can whistle these tunes while they refuel this wonder every other day.

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Complementary mothball smell dispenser.

LMAO!!!

Hell, I'd take a Tundra if a dealer paid me to take it off their hands. 'Course, I'd probably just use the money to buy a plane ticket to Japan, build a big pyre out in front of Toyota HQ and torch the motherf@#ker.

I'll bring the gas!!! (And stuff for s'mores)

P.S. I'll see if I can think of some more; Toyota needs all the help it can get IMO :D

Edited by FUTURE_OF_GM
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And how about a Camry Kentucky Derby edition, to celebrate their Kentucky heritage?

NO. As a born Kentuckian and legal resident of KY I can't allow this. If ANY vehicles are fitting to wear the KY heritage it is the Ford SD trucks, Explorer, or of course the Corvette!

Besides the Camry is made in Georgetown not Louisville. And Cadillacs are the official car of the Kentucky Derby!

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For Peter Gabriel Fans - the following editions are available:

The SLUDGEHAMMER! (The name says it all!)

SO! ( as in so what I only get a 4-star crash rating )

IN YOUR EYES Edition...cause you cannot help but notice this ugly beast on the road

BIG TIME Edition: We are going to incentivise this thing BIG TIME!

Each of it's owner's can whistle these tunes while they refuel this wonder every other day.

Love it!

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The Tundra College Edition:

Your favorite Toyota dealer will pay up to $8,000 for your son or daughter to go to barber school or learn manicuring so that they actually have a job to go to when everything else has been off-shored.

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