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Top 10 Gay Cars of 2006

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Top 10 Gay Cars

One of the perks of living in the Motor City is the North American International Auto Show. 2006 promised to be the most exciting show ever, and since gay business is my business I decided to take work on a pleasure cruise through the car exhibits. Out came the gayest cars of 2006. But before all of you straight and curious readers speed to the nearest trade in lot, know that this list is based on a combination of the humor, style and sophistication. Open the door to the gayest cars of 2006:

1) Best Car for the Gay Professional

2006 BMW 5 Series Sedan

I was a skeptic when BMW unveiled a new style direction for arguably the best midsize sedan on the planet. However, as with all things forward-thinking, once a look and feel has been perfected, it's time to push the envelope again. This car embodies the essence of today's gay man.

2) Best Car for the New Gay Family

2006 Saab 9-5 Wagon

Saab began as a jet engine company until it's side gig in the auto industry put it on the household map. It's often quirky design and features make it a true enthusiasts ride. The 9-5 isn't your traditional boring cruiser and even in the SportCombi Wagon version onlookers see the driver as one who desires unique style. The Saab 9-5 is an individual that refuses to follow the pack, just like the new gay dad and his family.

3) Best Dragwagon

2006 Kia Sorento

The Korean automaker has figured out a way to give top-dollar value in a package that won't rip your pocket. Kind of like a drag show- all that entertainment for a couple of bucks in tips. Plus, drag queens need an economical, but classy ride with optimal space for all their gear. That way they can spend those bills on costumes instead of high monthly payments. The 2006 Kia Sportage is the perfect solution and this year's top dragwagon.

4) Most Likely Down Low Cruiser

2006 Chevrolet Impala

Of course you can't tell a down low man by his car, but it sure seems like all the ones I know have the same dealership connection. Impala driver's seats can be seen leaning far back with just enough visibility to cruise the passing cars. Chevy's midsize isn't flashy so look closely to see the quality and refined styling of the otherwise discrete sedan.

5) Best Twinkmobile

2006 Mini Cooper

The Mini Cooper is annoyingly small to some, but simply irresistible to others. The cult classic from the BMW group means fun for anyone who sits behind the wheel (and passengers too). The Mini may look tiny on the outside, but there is a surprising amount of depth on the inside. Thanks to it's great handling, fast engine and fun ride, the Mini Cooper is our Best Twinkmobile winner.

6) Best Ride for the Trendy Gay Man

2006 Honda Element

The Element was made for the young, active and versatile. Freshened for its forth year, most of the plastic side molding has been removed for a more upscale look. The same people that wonder what kind of car this oddly shaped vehicle is, can't help but respect (or even envy) the driver. The mammoth interior is easily accessible with an intelligent tug on the suicide doors. It's just unique enough to satisfy the trendy in all of us.

7) Best Ride for the Trendy Gay Man (Urban)

2006 Chrysler 300C

I'd like to say DCX had no idea what an impact the 300 would have on the auto industry, American styling and bottom line of West Coast Customs, but I'm sure they did! This car is just hot and so is the trendy urban gay man that drives it. It's broad stance, chrome grill and "get out of the way" attitude has redefined the American sedan.

8) Best Retail Queen Carriage

2006 Pontiac G6

We've all seen 'em. We've identified our goal, mapped out our destination and may even be excited about the journey until we hear a high pitched voice that takes all the enjoyment out of the ride. "Can I help you?" it says from thin air. You tell them you're just looking, but they never seem to completely go away. We all appreciate the styling effort, but in the mall or on the road, the retail queen and the G6 are just in the way!

9) Best Lesbian Moving Van

2006 Subaru Outback

Subaru pumps a lot of money into gay advertising and their efforts have paid off with our sister's in queerness. This crossover wagon is versatile enough to accommodate a wide range of haulers. There's plenty of space for the cat cage and those boxes that can't fit in the storage bin. The Outback is a long-running lesbian champion.

10) Queerest Car

2006 Ford Focus

By it's position and title you may think the Queerest Car of 2006 is a good thing. To the contrary, it's usually an entry level vehicle frequently driven by gay men on a budget. (Translation: I just need a car to get from work to the bar to home.) Saving a dime can be cool too, but must styling be sacrificed? I surveyed many gay men to find the queerest car of 2006 and they all turned their nose up a the same vehicle- the 2006 Ford Focus.

Link: http://gaylife.about.com/od/gayproductreviews/tp/gaycars.htm

---

BTW, if this is offensive or whatever to anyone, I'll delete this. I just think it's interesting.

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Top 10 Gay Cars

8) Best Retail Queen Carriage

2006 Pontiac G6

We've all seen 'em. We've identified our goal, mapped out our destination and may even be excited about the journey until we hear a high pitched voice that takes all the enjoyment out of the ride. "Can I help you?" it says from thin air. You tell them you're just looking, but they never seem to completely go away. We all appreciate the styling effort, but in the mall or on the road, the retail queen and the G6 are just in the way!

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (Walks to the corner and weeps)

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Wildman... your response to #7 shows that maybe you are straight, after all, cuz you just don't understand what we're lookin' for... a 425 hp Hemi Chrysler 300-C SRT-8 would definitely get me interested in a hurry, as long as the driver fits the car.

The other morning at the convenience store I saw THE stereotypical boy. He got out of a black Jetta in his long, black wool overcoat and fashionable sunglasses, hair perfectly tousled (with blond highlights), about 6'0", 145 pounds, and walked into the store like he was on the catwalk. I was like :duh: butch it up, cupcake! :AH-HA_wink:

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I think the new 5-series is absolutely gorgeous, the Mini Cooper S is a car I will own someday and the Chrysler 300C I know for a fact is considered to also be a Macho-man's car. Look around at all the dudes who traded in their Mustangs, pickups and Caprices for it.

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7. Maybe in base form with the gay V6, but not with the 6.1 liter Hemi. That's about as hairy chested and manly of a luxury car you can get.

Oh no, there's nothing gay at all about being attracted to something big, burly, and broad-shouldered. :AH-HA_wink:

I wonder if they meant the 9-3 SportC ombi instead of the 9-5. I know this probably isn't the most reputable site out there for car buying tips, but even then, I just can't see anyone giving an award to the 9-5.

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A good start but you left out some categories..what about staples like the 3-series convertible and the Jetta? How about a Range Rover for the boys that have some cash and some dogs? How about a Porsche for those that have to overcompensate for being short changed someplace else?

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The last-gen Jetta was definately a hit with the gay crowd but at least they chose a hot car to adopt. I like the last-gen Jetta, black wool overcoat and all.

The "lesbian moving van" comment was hilarious, though I'm guessing the softball trophies are going to have to be laid sideways in order to fit in the back.

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Guest Josh

I thought the Solstice was on the list? It seems to get nothing but ass for me, however purely feminine in nature.

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Wildman... your response to #7 shows that maybe you are straight, after all, cuz you just don't understand what we're lookin' for... a 425 hp Hemi Chrysler 300-C SRT-8 would definitely get me interested in a hurry, as long as the driver fits the car.

The other morning at the convenience store I saw THE stereotypical boy.  He got out of a black Jetta in his long, black wool overcoat and fashionable sunglasses, hair perfectly tousled (with blond highlights), about 6'0", 145 pounds, and walked into the store like he was on the catwalk.  I was like  :duh: butch it up, cupcake! :AH-HA_wink:

Change "black Jetta" to "Red Passat" and you saw my Chas.

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Honda Element.... just.... no. No trendy gay man would buy one of those. Elements are more for the "nester" type. A trendy gay man would buy a 3-series.

The 3-series is even MORE of a status symbol in gay-land. Every young gay guy wants one without knowing why. Some say it's genetic others say it's do to trauma during their youth. I still say it's hogwash and you can choose to not like BMW if they really wanted to.

I sometimes think that my ambivilance towards BMW has turned into dislike simply because of the sneers I get from young gay BMW owners <and young gay Jetta owners who wish they could afford a BMW>, when they find out I drive a CTS.

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Ocn said hmmmm....... :scratchchin:

"My" guy at work wants a 3 Series. What does that mean?

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Okay, first, it's sad to see the Focus categorized in this way... Although, I do think the recent refresh made it a little bland.

Secondly, what the hell is that supposed to mean about the G6?!?!?! Is it a good thing or a bad thing??? (More than likely a bad thing---go figure)

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Secondly, what the hell is that supposed to mean about the G6?!?!?! Is it a good thing or a bad thing??? (More than likely a bad thing---go figure)

It's a bad thing, boy howdy.

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blair, how about a nice XC90 with a 6" lift and 33s?

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Why? We're not all a bunch of urban dwellers afraid to get our hands dirty.

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He got out of a black Jetta in his long, black wool overcoat and fashionable sunglasses, hair perfectly tousled (with blond highlights), about 6'0", 145 pounds, and walked into the store like he was on the catwalk.

Funny that I was able to deduce these stereotypes from living in Seattle and NOT in California where people can't be quantified and categorized as easily.

So true about the Jetta. Now, mind you, the current Jetta isn't as entry level, but the last two generations of Jetta say "metrosexual" (and that's the benefit of the doubt) UW student flitting around in his Jetta between the U-District, Capitol Hill and Queen Anne with all of the accoutrements Ocn describes save the sunglasses because you don't need them there.

Then there's the Subaru. Dour and frumpy scholarly carpet muncher who either works or teaches at the UW, living in her ugly-ass frame bungalow with an equally ugly partner, cats and curio shop garbage somewhere in Wallingford (other side of the freeway from the U-District), driving this stupid utilitarian car around with an equally frumpy expression and all you can see is their short grayish hair, glasses and earrings they bought someplace "spiritual" like Sedona AZ or Santa Fe NM.

Arrgghhhh! Why are people so damn "PACKAGED"?

Edited by trinacriabob

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While I agree some of the packages are way beyond their freshness date, people *not in the group* tend to only see these "packaged" people, when there are millions of "non-packaged" folks right under their noses.

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While I agree some of the packages are way beyond their freshness date, people *not in the group* tend to only see these "packaged" people, when there are millions of "non-packaged" folks right under their noses.

It's the ones that are packaged that I can't stand, whether as described above and even some readily identifiable sub-groups in So Cal such as surfers, entertainment wannabees, etc., but since we are talking about our assessment of the top gay cars, I couldn't help but take a hit at the Jetta and the Subaru and the annoying people around Seattle that drove them.

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5. A cute car with nothing else going for it. Couldn't agree more, though I wonder if the fact that a supposedly straight man like myself knowing what twink means is at all suspicious.  :confused0071:

:huh:

Have you ever driven one?

A MINI is a wonderfully-handling, driving little car!

(NO....I'm not a twink....lol)

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I can not believe the moderators let this topic stay open. Blatant homophobia what is next n88ger jokes. First the Outlook story now this!

From the number of posts, you're obviously pretty new. What is enjoyable about the site is that its cheekiness and irreverence is within the tolerance limits of most of us who "know" each other fairly well. If we poke fun at cars, then we are also free to poke fun at the human condition, which can be pretty funny as well. Another thing is that some of those contributions you refer to were made by members of C&G community who are openly gay. When someone is adamant about the content, it begins to be hateful or trespasses what the mods find to be acceptable, then it is shut down. Don't be so uptight....take a chill pill.

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