What do you say to someone who is short for this world?

[Intrepidation]

This is really hard for me...

A few months ago my Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors told her she had about six months to live. When I last spoke with her around the end of December she told me she was undergoing chemotherapy and that it was helping.

Today I was up early and got a message from my father that she had taken a turn for the worse and was very sick, and probably doesn't have long to live.

I'm not sure what to do or say...I want to call her but I don't know what to say. There hasn't been a death in my family (who I knew) since my Grandfather passed away when I was around 5, so I have no idea how to deal with it.

I guess I'm looking for advice? I don't know...I just feel compelled to post this and tell someone.

[Intrepidation]

Also, in another bit of news, it seems I won't get to see her.

She was planning to move back to Connecticut and remain there in the apartment my uncle had built for her years ago (she spent winters in Florida and summers in Connecticut. Well, she wasn't able to move back up here.

[Croc]

Just talk to her. Don't stress about what to say--JUST TALK TO HER. She'll appreciate it, and the conversation will take its course.

As for not seeing her--by all means do what you can to travel down to visit her. Presidents' Day is coming up soon, so maybe you can snag some cheap airfare on Southwest or something. You're going to regret it if you don't.

[NOS2006]

Don't stress. Just remember that all nature runs its course. It may be terrible to admit and think about, but that's what helped me through my grandpa's passing back in April. No matter what you do, you can't change what's going to happen.. and that's the hardest part you've got to overcome.

Meanwhile, see her as soon as possible if you can. Croc's right, you'll probably regret it if you don't. Your role is to comfort her and bring up happy memories; it'll be in good health for both you and her. Let her know you love her. Just be there for her if at all possible.

[toesuf94]

talk to her. About anything and everything. Build some memories and ask her about her life. You will learn things she was never willing to share before. Get this information and these aspects of her life before it is too late. She will enjoy the distraction, and will also be at peace for being able to give to you the one thing she has to give you: Knowledge.

You would be amazed how much automotive history she will have that you would love to hear as well. When my wife's grandmother was dying, I spent HOURS talking with her about the hard times she had, about the Oldsmobile dealer going door to door in 1932 with a nice little coupe that he was trying to sell for $17 a month. Or her trip in her 1949 Roadmaster Convertible to Florida...and the roadside picnics and getting it fixed...the stories of days past are fascinating and really made her feel better reliving those days long gone, instead of living in the moment.

Sorry for her illness.

[!!!TED!!!]

Take any means possible to see her.

Or call her, like right now.

My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, and passed away nearly one week later (this past August).

My brother, who lives in Geneva, took the first flight he could when he heard the diagnosis, and just made it in time to spend (what turned out to be) the last two days of her life.

It was devastating for the whole family, but we were all together with her to the end.

[daves87rs]

I would have to agree with everone above...just talk to her.

[ZL-1]

Yeah, talking to her is the best you can do. You have my MSN address, so if you feel there's anything I help with, feel free to contact me.

[Intrepidation]

Regrettably I guess I'll never get the chance. I got a call from Florida, which I could only assume was relating to her in some way earlier, but when I picked up their was no answer. When I tried calling back it said the number was not in service. Then I found out from my father that she passed away. He was planning to fly to FL to be with her tomorrow, but didn't get the chance.

It really sucks, apparently the only member of my family who actually got to be there was my Uncle, I guess someone was there at least. I really wish so much of my family didn't live in Florida.

R.I.P Frederica Currie, you will be missed. Hopefully she is in a better place now.

[Intrepidation]

By the way, thanks for the kind offer ZL-1.

Honestly, I'm at the point where I don't even know how I feel. I'm saddened but somehow it doesn't feel like it's really set in yet.

[!!!TED!!!]

My condolences.

[NOS2006]

I'm very sorry, Dodgefan. We'll all be here for you.

[ZL-1]

By the way, thanks for the kind offer ZL-1.

Honestly, I'm at the point where I don't even know how I feel. I'm saddened but somehow it doesn't feel like it's really set in yet.

My condolences.

If it serves as any help, it took me a long time to process my grandmother's (mom's mom) death. Time will help, and talking it through with family also does. Again, my condolences, hang in there.

[Oracle of Delphi]

You just have to grab the bull by the horns and talk to her, you won't get another chance to say what's in your heart once she's gone, so do it now, while you still can. My grandmother died in 1991, and to this day I miss that woman, same with my father who recently passed away.

My condolences to you and your family. I feel your pain every day.

[z28luvr01]

I'm sorry Dodgefan.

[ocnblu]

Life is so short. Sorry about your grandmother, DF.

[mustang84]

Sorry to hear that Dodgefan...

[Z-06]

Condolences DF.

[gm4life]

Take any means possible to see her.

Or call her, like right now.

My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, and passed away nearly one week later (this past August).

My brother, who lives in Geneva, took the first flight he could when he heard the diagnosis, and just made it in time to spend (what turned out to be) the last two days of her life.

It was devastating for the whole family, but we were all together with her to the end.

Ted is right. I have had lots of this in my life. Go see her take off, work even if your down to your last dollar do it. That is something you won't regret. Just talk like old times trust me. Make every attempt possible and I have seen my family not be around when someone dies and it sucks big time. Don't think about it, just go see her that is what I would suggest. Sorry to hear about the sad news, you'll be in my thoughts.

Edited January 27, 2009 by gm4life

[trinacriabob]

I am very sorry to hear this, Dodgefan.

You've written very caring words about her. That speaks to your love for her and I am sure she knew and was inspired by that.

I remember getting the call that my Dad had passed away. I was living in Seattle at the time and had to drive down to Portland for the funeral. It was surreal...that whole 175 mile drive. I know what that feels like.

My condolences.

Edited January 27, 2009 by trinacriabob

[InvictaMan]

Sorry for your loss DF. Losing a family member is never easy and does not leave you for the rest of your life. Which is a good thing, because thinking and talking about them keeps their spirit alive. My Dad died of cancer over twenty-five years ago. I still do things and reach for goals in his memory all the time, I suggest you do the same to honor her. She will be smiling.....

[Intrepidation]

Thanks you all for the kind words.

[Sixty8panther]

Sorry to hear that.

You have my condolences.

[knightfan26917]

Hey Dodgefan,

I'm a bit late, but thoughts/prayers are coming your way. Very sorry for your loss.

My grandmother died in October 2002, a few months before my last open heart surgery. I still sometimes can "hear" her...and I do miss her.

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