Intrepidation

Farts

49 posts in this topic

Since there's a lotta guys on this forum, and since it's not a particularly vulgar subject (so it has a better chance of not getting locked)...what's your take on farts? Do you love them or do you hate them? What's the best kind of fart? What's the worst kind of fart? Any fart stories you'd like to share? Enjoy!

:lol:

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it depends on the situation... if im hangin out with some guys... farts can be hilarious... if im with a girl... i do NOT want to fart...

best kind... if yur with guys its gotta be a long loud one... you can get a round of appluase... maybe a standing ovation lol if yur with a girl you want a short quiet one... unnoticable

worst kind... the shart... in any situation you just dont want that to happen ever

no stories... sorry haha tho im sure some people will have interesting ones

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Lol that shart is indeed evil.

I've taught my girlfriend to enjoy farts..lt took over a year to do :lol:

Farts with guys are always funny, I know someone who can make a "laughing fart" It sounds liek either a laugh or a machine gun going off!

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I hate the ones that reak.

but when you sit on your couch and launch one its the best feeling.

Sharting is the best tho when you fell a little wet tingle in your pants.

In public i cant let em go tho. Only by myself or if there is a person to blame in the area.

also SBD are cool to when you blame other people for them.

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I try and avoid public farting as it's uncooth and unprofessional...but, sometimes you can't avoid one...

I once let loose with an explosively loud one after holding it when I thought I was alone on a dock, but there were two tourists directly behind me...they went back about 20 feet in a few seconds..

Underwater farts in the pool or tub are fun..

I've been plagued by sharts at innoportune times..I let some in an elevator once, and while riding a gondola, while driving in cold weather w/ the seat heater on (melty poo)..

unfortunately, sharts can be a prelude to something much, much worse---firehose diarreha... when you really, really hope those car seats are Scotchgarded..

Edited by moltar

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SSometimes when you fart on a metal chair it "pings" whereas onj leather it amplifies the sounds and gives it a bit of a crackle. On fabric surfaces it muffles teh sound and obsorbs it, but locks the smell in for hours :P Have you ever headshot someone with a fart? Or point-blank? Or a combo? haha

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I once let loose once with an explosively loud one after holding it when I thought I was alone on a dock, but there were two tourists directly behind me...they went back about 20 feet in a few seconds..

:rotflmao: I just fell out of my chair

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SSometimes when you fart on a metal chair it "pings" whereas onj leather it amplifies the sounds and gives it a bit of a crackle. On fabric surfaces it muffles teh sound and obsorbs it, but locks the smell in for hours :P Have you ever headshot someone with a fart? Or point-blank? Or a combo? haha

yeah my car is victim to the lock in smell. as noted by freinds the "$h! obsorbing seats".

Hey Bob what are you doing up on the lot this weekend

I dont know maybe tear that one tree down

(Lound grugle farting noise) Or you could tear that.

Jim aww thats nasty. (but no smell)

(3 1/2 hours later once at destination)

OMFG dude that reaked. I think it rotted while it was traped.

Later that day go to store Buy 5 bottles of Frebreeze. soak seat. make mental note never sit in passenger rear seat ever again.

It had to be teh worst god aful smell ever in my life.

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I try and avoid public farting as it's uncooth and unprofessional...but, sometimes you can't avoid one...

I once let loose with an explosively loud one after holding it when I thought I was alone on a dock, but there were two tourists directly behind me...they went back about 20 feet in a few seconds..

Underwater farts in the pool or tub are fun..

I've been plagued by sharts at innoportune times..I let some in an elevator once, and while riding a gondola, while driving in cold weather w/ the seat heater on (melty poo)..

unfortunately, sharts can be a prelude to something much, much worse---firehose diarreha... when you really, really hope those car seats are Scotchgarded..

omg funny! :rotflmao:

Have you noticed that even underwater farts can smell?

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TMI??

worst is the flu when you have the $h!s and you have to puke? whats your choice either puke in toliet $h! on floor, or $h! in toilet puke on floor.

I :wub: wash the shower door tho when its covered in luke warm crap.

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spend about 3-4 hours in the tweed office chair on C/G after eating a good bit of egg salad sandwiches and peas with a root beer or two or something nasty like that and then try to be able to stay in the room.

or a nice waffle breakfast with lots of OJ and maple syrup, then chase it with a moosed coffee and see if you survive those 'sweet bloomers' all day.

worst fart experience. my friend had a new chevy corsica fleet car and i met him to check it out. he had his new dog with, sitting in the back. The dog was a BIG dog. the dog had just eaten, some really bad leftovers. it was a good 85+ degrees / humid out. we were driving in the car and the dog started to light it up. my buddy thought he would make the most of the situation and turned off the air and make sure all the windows were closed. then, HE TURNED UP THE HEAT to maximum.

the dog just kept lighting it up. my buddy locked the window switch. i almost hurled....honestly.

Edited by regfootball

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GRAPE NUTS cereal.....if that won't win you the BEST FARTS AWARD then i don't know what will.

chow down about 3 bowls of that before bed then chase it in the morning with some maple brown sugar oatmeal and about 3 glasses of lukewarm milk and tell me if you like it!

Edited by regfootball

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TMI??

worst is the flu when you have the $h!s and you have to puke? whats your choice either puke in toliet $h! on floor, or $h! in toilet puke on floor.

I :wub: wash the shower door tho when its covered in luke warm crap.

Been there, done that... the 'double ended firehose'---nausea + diarreha...happened to me once, couldn't make it to the toilet or sink, went all over the bathroom wall and a magazine rack..quite the mess to clean up..

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For the record, I produced both the echo fart (in a mausoleum, no less), a few teflon farts (on an airplane), and a mild shart this past weekend.

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HAHAHA this is my thread!!!

I get people with my stinky farts all the time.

One time I was waiting in line to ride the "Superman: Ride of Steel" at Six Flags Darien Lake, and had really bad gas that day. I was dropping bombs left and right, and since I worked all night before going that morning, I was giddy all day, so the mere reactions on people's faces had me laughing my ass off. Not to mention the comments. "That's just wrong, man. That's just wrong!", is the most memorable.

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