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Metallica Must Keep Touring to Make Ends Meet

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Metallica are under pressure to keep touring continuously as they no longer receive regular royalty cheques to sustain them during their time off, according to guitarist Kirk Hammett.

The rocker admits all his bandmates would like to take a break to spend time with their families, but the band has to continue working to keep the money rolling in.

He tells Rolling Stone magazine, "The cycles of taking two years off don't exist anymore. We were able to do that because we had record royalties coming in consistently. Now you put out an album, and you have a windfall maybe once or twice but not the way it used to be - a cheque every three months.

"We've been a live band, we've had to get out there and play, play, play... nowadays that was the area we wanted to kind of lay back on a little bit, and kind of enjoy our families and things. But, you know, it is what it is, and we can't change that."

I guess you could say they`re having trouble putting food on the table.

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I've learned one of the few absolute truths of life from direct observation; the statement 'money is a little tight right now' (or the like) is ALWAYS relative.

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I've learned one of the few absolute truths of life from direct observation; the statement 'money is a little tight right now' (or the like) is ALWAYS relative.

This.

These guys are, individually, probably worth around USD 100 million (except for Rob who entered the band just a few years ago). Metallica actually sued Elektra to gain full control over the band's music (and with that ended up having an excellent contract, royalties-wise). The fact is that record sales are down sharply compard to 10 or 20 years ago, digital distribution is something that doesn't net a band as many USD per song/album sold, and so the BIG money now is indeed in touring.

Also, if the band was a little more productive in creating new music, the issue would be somewhat mitigated.

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My sympathy for Metallica has pretty much run dry.

Surely no one here thinks that the slow collapse of the record industry has caught Metallica by surprise. They were given a very early glimpse of what the present day had in store for them over a decade ago, with the whole Napster freak show.

Hammett, Ulrich, and the rest of Metallica had the chance to be proactive thirteen years ago. Instead, they chose to be reactive because they knew and feared what Napster and other file sharing networks meant for their future.

I understand that the lawsuit was born out of the band being unhappy that some (then) unfinished work had appeared on Napster, but even still. The band didn't just sue to have that one song taken down; they sued to have the whole service taken down. They were given a prime opportunity to adopt a new way of connecting with their fans, the people who supported them and allowed them to become one of the biggest names in the record industry. But what did they do? They pissed that away, determined to hold on to the old way of doing business because they were afraid that they would have to abandon their decadent, money-laden pop star lifestyles.

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Did Metallica's lawsuit Napster change anything? Of course not. When Napster went down, those users just shifted to Kaazaa and then to Limewire, still downloading free music and not giving a flying fu#k about the band's bitching and whining.

So, do I care about Metallica's money problems? Nope. There's no sympathy here. That band hasn't been a relevant act since 1987 anyway. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that the entire band died in that bus wreck with Cliff Burton. Yes, I mean that literally and not metaphorically. The Metallica we've known since 1987 is comprised of three look-a-likes and a revolving door of lame bass players.

Edited by black-knight
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I guess you could say they`re having trouble putting food on the table.

putting food on the table.

the table.

>:/

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I guess you could say they`re having trouble putting food on the table.

putting food on the table.

the table.

>:/

I AM THE TABLE!!! :roflmao:

Edited by ZL-1

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First of all, this article (which is based on the band's latest Rolling Stone spread) is pure bull$h!...

There is absolutely NO way MetallicA is feeling a cash crunch.

If they were TRULY facing hard times, they wouldn't be FINANCING a festival with their own money, FINANCING a new 3D movie with their own money, and MAINTAINING a giant headquarters that employs many people in the heart of SanFran

MetallicA has ALWAYS been a "live band" and have ALWAYS stated that they enjoy touring much more than recording.... Which I'm cool with because their live sh*t is SOOO much better than their studio stuff (They haven't played more than 3 Load/Reload/St. Anger songs in almost 7 years)

Hammett, Ulrich, and the rest of Metallica had the chance to be proactive thirteen years ago. Instead, they chose to be reactive because they knew and feared what Napster and other file sharing networks meant for their future.

O RLY? You think starting a whole website that's SOLELY devoted to SELLING flac files of EVERY live recording you do is being reactive instead of proactive? (www.livemetallica.com)

Lars is a VERY smart business man (actually it's pretty scary how damn accurate his predictions are) and he certainly knows how to make money.

I understand that the lawsuit was born out of the band being unhappy that some (then) unfinished work had appeared on Napster, but even still. The band didn't just sue to have that one song taken down; they sued to have the whole service taken down. They were given a prime opportunity to adopt a new way of connecting with their fans, the people who supported them and allowed them to become one of the biggest names in the record industry. But what did they do? They pissed that away, determined to hold on to the old way of doing business because they were afraid that they would have to abandon their decadent, money-laden pop star lifestyles.

Free file sharing is wrong then and it's wrong now.... There is absolutely NO reason why artists shouldn't be compensated for their work. And it's interesting to see the ever growing roster of bands that have come out in support of MetallicA's stance now that the record industry is on its knees.

So, do I care about Metallica's money problems? Nope. There's no sympathy here. That band hasn't been a relevant act since 1987 anyway. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that the entire band died in that bus wreck with Cliff Burton. Yes, I mean that literally and not metaphorically. The Metallica we've known since 1987 is comprised of three look-a-likes and a revolving door of lame bass players.

LMFAO. I think that's probably the stupidest thing I've heard all year. 2009's Death Magnetic set WORLDWIDE records in sales and success. And bear in mind 1) This is a record from a band which hadn't put out new material in 6 years. 2) This is a record from a band that PUBLICLY broke up and PUBLICLY acted like a bunch of spoiled jackasses. 3) This is a record from a heavy metal band that has been in the game 30 years (long enough for most of the demographic to have been born long after their initial success. And 4) this is a record that was released in the midst of a collapsing record industry and a global economic crisis.

Saying you don't like/respect the band is one thing (and I get that) But saying they're not relevant is just ridiculous.

And BTW, what's wrong with the Lou Reed album? (besides Lou Reed himself)

It's funny how closed minded metal heads are... "Yeah man, F**k the world! We're different!" until somebody messys up their day and "sells out" or (god forbid) becomes a little diverse. Then it's the incessant bitching we've heard since RIDE THE LIGHTNING..

And if money is indeed tight (which I highly doubt) maybe thy should get off their asses and put out more than one record every 5-6 years.

All that said, you guys can look for me this June at Orion Music and More (www.buyaticketf@#ker.com) when I cash in my $600 MetClub VIP tickets for the experience of a lifetime!

Edited by FUTURE_OF_GM

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First of all, this article (which is based on the band's latest Rolling Stone spread) is pure bull$h!...

That would be true if those quotes didn't come straight from Hammett's mouth.

There is absolutely NO way MetallicA is feeling a cash crunch.

If they were TRULY facing hard times, they wouldn't be FINANCING a festival with their own money, FINANCING a new 3D movie with their own money, and MAINTAINING a giant headquarters that employs many people in the heart of SanFran

MetallicA has ALWAYS been a "live band" and have ALWAYS stated that they enjoy touring much more than recording.... Which I'm cool with because their live sh*t is SOOO much better than their studio stuff (They haven't played more than 3 Load/Reload/St. Anger songs in almost 7 years)

No one is saying that the band is going broke. But let's put down the glass full of Kool-Aid for a second and face the music. They're not raking in big royalty checks from record sales anymore. The consumer — i.e. their fanbase — has spoken as a majority here; their buisness model quite frankly sucks. They're sort of inept at this whole new-age record buisness thing and they're feeling the burn from it. They're not even willing to seriously try it out.

O RLY? You think starting a whole website that's SOLELY devoted to SELLING flac files of EVERY live recording you do is being reactive instead of proactive? (www.livemetallica.com)

Uh, yeah. It would be proactive if they did that before or in 1999 or 2000 when they were first learning of the popularity of file sharing networks. Not in 2004 after the fact the band realized that their lawsuit against Napster was horribly ineffective.

The site seems to be more or less an answer to fans buying and trading around those stupid bootleg CDs of live recordings that used to be everywhere. That was an issue that ran rampant in the 1990s, not today, and I think someone buying bootleg recordings is worse than piracy.

Also, Live Metallica.com is a very under utlized resource. Why restrict the site to live downloads? Why not allow the band's entire studio catalog to appear there as well, or at least redirect you to a iTunes link?

Yeah, I know you can buy CDs from Metallica's main website, but who in the hell is going to pay $18 bucks for a new copy of Ride the Lightning when, for example, my local Wal-Mart has recently been throwing it in a clearance bin for $5 bucks? How's that for stupid? Metallica fans should boycott for being so blatantly ripped off.

I can't honestly say the band is paying close attention to what other well-established acts are doing, either. Plenty of other well-established acts — acts who also may not enjoy a large cash cache like Metallica does — are pretty much going solo when it comes to recording, distributing and promoting their new records. Plenty of bands are also offering whatever single they release to promote their new record as a free download.

And, although they weren't overwhelming successes, Nine Inch Nails' "The Slip" and "Ghosts I-IV" managed to turn a small profit and they were both even available for free download in some form — in the case of "The Slip" the full album could be downloaded for free with no strings attached.

Radiohead also released "In Rainbows" in a similar fashion before NIN's "Ghosts" and "The Slip" and managed to regain some of the money they invested into making the album back. And although it wasn't officially available for free, their release for "The King of Limbs" was a solid financial success and the band didn't have to resort to charging outrageous prices for the mp3 versions. A DRM-free digital copy of "The King of Limbs" only cost about 2 GPB more than, say, an issue of "Top Gear" magazine (so, about a dollar or two less than "TG" magazine for us here in the States). The physical versions of Radiohead's latest record were also quite content rich for the price and came with both CD and vinyl pressings.

I'm not saying I'm a big fan of either band; I especially moved on from NIN and that genre of music some time ago. But NIN and Radiohead are certainly experimenting with different buisness models that could very well set standards for younger, up and coming bands. The great thing is that the sales of the albums I mentioned above directly supported each band. No one in marketing got a slice, no one at corporate got a slice, no one cleaning the bathroom at the recording studio got a slice. NIN and Radiohead fans seemed to understand that. That's not to mention that, when the fans actually bought the physical copy of the record they were also rewarded with solid content, bonus features, and very cool packaging.

So yeah. You know, I don't see Metallica taking charge here.

Lars is a VERY smart business man (actually it's pretty scary how damn accurate his predictions are) and he certainly knows how to make money.

Yeah, if he were smart, he'd be paying attention to how other acts are actually trying to improve the situation and rewarding their fanbase. See above. If he's such a smart buisness man, he would be trying to think of a fresh, new buisiness model that would make Radiohead's more or less obsolete. Instead, he's charging at least 1.5 times the regular price of a new copy of "Ride The Lightning" on Metallica's website.

Edited by black-knight

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Free file sharing is wrong then and it's wrong now.... There is absolutely NO reason why artists shouldn't be compensated for their work.

No one is saying that. Look at the example I gave earlier of Radiohead's "The King of Limbs". The band charged for it, people understood they were being charged a fair price and that their money directly supported the band, and look what happened. The band sold almost 400,000 copies of that album through their website alone and it only took two months.

And it's interesting to see the ever growing roster of bands that have come out in support of MetallicA's stance now that the record industry is on its knees.

I don't exactly hear other bands saying they want to charge $18 bucks for their records and rip-off fans.

LMFAO. I think that's probably the stupidest thing I've heard all year. 2009's Death Magnetic set WORLDWIDE records in sales and success. And bear in mind 1) This is a record from a band which hadn't put out new material in 6 years. 2) This is a record from a band that PUBLICLY broke up and PUBLICLY acted like a bunch of spoiled jackasses. 3) This is a record from a heavy metal band that has been in the game 30 years (long enough for most of the demographic to have been born long after their initial success. And 4) this is a record that was released in the midst of a collapsing record industry and a global economic crisis.

Saying you don't like/respect the band is one thing (and I get that) But saying they're not relevant is just ridiculous.

Hi! I'm Hyperbole and Sarcasm. I don't believe we've met.

As for "Death Magnetic", it was an hour of four old fat guys treading water. Yawn. Just because something sells well, doesn't mean it's anything spectacular. Like Toyota, for example.

It is pretty much true that they really are growing irrelevant from a buisness standpoint, though. The new record industry is preparing to leave them behind in the dust. Just you watch.

I'll also go on the record here and say the first three Metallica albums were brilliant and I'm a fan of what the band used to be. I still have some small shred of respect left for the musicians they are now (that doesn't mean I care when they bitch about money). But the band that wrote "Kill 'Em All," "Ride The Lightning", and "Master of Puppets" seriously is long gone and isn't coming back.

And BTW, what's wrong with the Lou Reed album? (besides Lou Reed himself)

Everything.

I mean, look at your own signature for God's sake. "I am the table?" I wrote better lyrics than that in 7th grade. Hetfield should've let Lou Reed write Lou Reed's own lyrics, if you get my drift.

And Lou Reed is fine on his own.

It's funny how closed minded metal heads are... "Yeah man, F**k the world! We're different!" until somebody messys up their day and "sells out" or (god forbid) becomes a little diverse. Then it's the incessant bitching we've heard since RIDE THE LIGHTNING..

I don't claim to be a metal head. My sensabilities are more in tune with older rock bands from the late '60s and '70s and, even still, that doesn't mean I limit myself to listening to just that sort of music from that specific time frame nor do many of my favorite bands and artists meet that criteria. The music I write isn't exactly treading that particular body of water, either. I'll listen to anything from any genre as long as its good. I'm just as prone to listen to Merle Haggard or David Allen Coe as I am to listen to Queen or Black Sabbath.

Anyway, the stuff that Metallica wrote after '87? Yeah, it's nothing spectacular. Why? Because it seems as if the band lost sight of what they were doing and how they identified themselves. I understand Burton's death may have played a role in that, but even still. When Bon Scott died, you didn't see AC/DC questioning what in the hell they were doing (just questioning how to move on more than anything).

"... And Justice For All" was pretty mediocre if you move past the challenge of how lengthy the songs were and it lacked a certain punch that was there on "Lightning" and "Puppets". "The Black Album" has to be one of the messiest, most confused sounding records I've had the misfortune of wading through. "Load" and "Reload" were Metallica basically trying to play Kyuss tribute songs. "St. Anger"? Let's not go there.

Bands and artists experiment and diversify for various reasons, yes. I most certainly understand that. But it's only truly successful when that band manages to make the end result, well, sound like them if that makes any sense. Consistency is the key word. Fans and other musicians alike aren't very receptive when you're just all over the board, trying to be a jack of all trades while not bothering to master any of them and not offering up your own spin on things.

Look at Mastodon's new record "The Hunter". They've certainly experimented and changed some of their approach to how they write music — the tempos on many songs are slightly slower and the structures are more "poppy" rather than "proggy". But you really don't hear fans complaining because it still sounds like Mastodon. The guitar tones are still there, the vocals are similar to previous albums, the guitar skill i.e. the riffs are still there, the drumming is still techinical.

When Metallica "slowed things down" it didn't sound like Metallica. The difference between "Master of Puppets" and "The Black Album" is horrifically stark. Even the difference between "... And Justice For All" and "Puppets" is glaring and those two albums were released only about two years apart.

Edited by black-knight

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That would be true if those quotes didn't come straight from Hammett's mouth.

Indeed he did say those words... However, this piece is blown way out of context on quotes he made for the Rolling Stone spread.

No one is saying that the band is going broke. But let's put down the glass full of Kool-Aid for a second and face the music. They're not raking in big royalty checks from record sales anymore. The consumer — i.e. their fanbase — has spoken as a majority here; their buisness model quite frankly sucks. They're sort of inept at this whole new-age record buisness thing and they're feeling the burn from it. They're not even willing to seriously try it out.

That's exactly what this article is implying.... And, if it isn't fact, why even talk $h! and why fix what ain't broke?

MetallicA recently ended their record deal, and Lars keeps saying they'll do something revolutionary for the next release. I'd probably bit my tongue before I started making gross misjudgments about how 'those old codgers are just outdated'

Uh, yeah. It would be proactive if they did that before or in 1999 or 2000 when they were first learning of the popularity of file sharing networks. Not in 2004 after the fact the band realized that their lawsuit against Napster was horribly ineffective.

Oh give me a break! The friggin' band BROKE UP right after the Napster case and didn't even exist during much of the time you're talking about. St. Anger dropped in 2003 and LiveMet launched in 2004... *weak argument*

The site seems to be more or less an answer to fans buying and trading around those stupid bootleg CDs of live recordings that used to be everywhere. That was an issue that ran rampant in the 1990s, not today, and I think someone buying bootleg recordings is worse than piracy.

Once again... MetallicA is and always has been a live/bootleg band first and foremost (to their hardcore fans). How is this NOT catering DIRECTLY to their core fanbase again?

Also, Live Metallica.com is a very under utlized resource. Why restrict the site to live downloads? Why not allow the band's entire studio catalog to appear there as well, or at least redirect you to a iTunes link?

Again I ask: WHY? iTunes is doing a fine job selling their music for them... Why finance the overhead to compete with that?

Yeah, I know you can buy CDs from Metallica's main website, but who in the hell is going to pay $18 bucks for a new copy of Ride the Lightning when, for example, my local Wal-Mart has recently been throwing it in a clearance bin for $5 bucks? How's that for stupid? Metallica fans should boycott for being so blatantly ripped off.

People who don't have ACCESS to a Wal-Mart (i.e. MetallicA's HUGE international fanbase... The fact that they're charging (and apparently getting) $18 per CD is a TESTAMENT to the band's (Lars) money making ability.

I can't honestly say the band is paying close attention to what other well-established acts are doing, either. Plenty of other well-established acts — acts who also may not enjoy a large cash cache like Metallica does — are pretty much going solo when it comes to recording, distributing and promoting their new records. Plenty of bands are also offering whatever single they release to promote their new record as a free download.

Firstly: who cares what other bands are doing? You do realize WHO we're talking about right? This is METALLICA... One of the most popular and best selling acts of all-time (Second ONLY to the --wretched-- Beatles in sales) They don't NEED to pay attention to what other bands are doing. They could make a damn country album and it's sell like hotcakes... They have a DEDICATED fanbase that buys pretty much anything they do.

Secondly: Reference the end of their record deal and their remarks again.

That's not to mention that, when the fans actually bought the physical copy of the record they were also rewarded with solid content, bonus features, and very cool packaging.

You mean, kinda like St. Anger which included a DVD and LiveMet access.... Or Coffin Magnetic which included a ton of stuff as well?

Yeah, if he were smart, he'd be paying attention to how other acts are actually trying to improve the situation and rewarding their fanbase. See above. If he's such a smart buisness man, he would be trying to think of a fresh, new buisiness model that would make Radiohead's more or less obsolete. Instead, he's charging at least 1.5 times the regular price of a new copy of "Ride The Lightning" on Metallica's website.

Again.... See above. And again, how is making a ton of markup on CDs bad business again?

No one is saying that.

That's the root of EVERY one of these conversations (countless) that I've had...

"MetallicA was greedy...." MetallicA sucks..." "MetallicA lost..."

YES, MetallicA was VERY greedy. I'm a diehard fan, but I could've never dealt with the jackasses I saw in Some Kind of Monster. HOWEVER, what's wrong is wrong.

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Look at the example I gave earlier of Radiohead's "The King of Limbs". The band charged for it, people understood they were being charged a fair price and that their money directly supported the band, and look what happened. The band sold almost 400,000 copies of that album through their website alone and it only took two months.

Really dude?

First off, MetallicA sold 490,000 copies of Death Magnetic in THREE DAYS using your 'out-of-touch' business sense.

Secondly, do you REALLY think most people would look at a new MetallicA CD and say: "Oh, I feel better about buying this because it's padding James Hetfield and Lars Ulrichs pockets." YEAH RIGHT! This isn't some wook haven like Radiohead... It's a bad that most 'common' people loathe....

I don't exactly hear other bands saying they want to charge $18 bucks for their records and rip-off fans.

Neither do I, and that's why I didn't say I did. Again, many bands have come out in support of Lars stance against file sharing/Napster.

As for "Death Magnetic", it was an hour of four old fat guys treading water. Yawn. Just because something sells well, doesn't mean it's anything spectacular. Like Toyota, for example.

1) That's completely subjective.... 2) I'll agree that, while it's an excellent album, it's too refined and over thought And 3) But who can blame them?!?! GOD FORBID THEY NOT TRY TO MAKE AN ALBUM THAT DOESN'T APPEAL TO PISSED OFF FANS. *rolleyes*

Toyota might not be everyone's tastes, but arguing that they're irrelevant is ridiculous... In fact, they're the company that set the standard for eveyone in the modern era (sound familiar?)

It is pretty much true that they really are growing irrelevant from a buisness standpoint, though. The new record industry is preparing to leave them behind in the dust. Just you watch.

What record industry? Oh, and tell that 'irrelevant' speech to the tons of bands that want to open fo them and the tons of festivals that want to book them to headline.

I'll also go on the record here and say the first three Metallica albums were brilliant and I'm a fan of what the band used to be. I still have some small shred of respect left for the musicians they are now (that doesn't mean I care when they bitch about money). But the band that wrote "Kill 'Em All," "Ride The Lightning", and "Master of Puppets" seriously is long gone and isn't coming back.

Again... Subjective. (And yes, that band is long gone because Cliff is dead)

I mean, look at your own signature for God's sake. "I am the table?" I wrote better lyrics than that in 7th grade. Hetfield should've let Lou Reed write Lou Reed's own lyrics, if you get my drift.

And Lou Reed is fine on his own.

1) You have to admit, the signature is freakin' hilarious :)

2) The album is PAINFUL for me to listen too

3) And the reason is because Lou Reed suck ass. (which, BTW since this was a Lou Reed project that MetallicA participated in, I'm pretty sure Reed wrote those lines)

4) THAT SAID, I understand why the band did it... The album actually is morbidly haunting (if you pretend an talented vocalist is actually reciting Reed's lines) and GEE GOLLY, isn't it just nice to see a big band THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE BOX these days instead of being a $h!ty pop sensation or one of those annoying 'indie' abominations that everyone *thinks* is so innovative?

"... And Justice For All" was pretty mediocre if you move past the challenge of how lengthy the songs were and it lacked a certain punch that was there on "Lightning" and "Puppets". "The Black Album" has to be one of the messiest, most confused sounding records I've had the misfortune of wading through. "Load" and "Reload" were Metallica basically trying to play Kyuss tribute songs. "St. Anger"? Let's not go there.

AJFA is a masterpiece (my favorite album) and has inspired MANY metal bands. TBA was an excellent album (although probably one of my least favorite) and still serves as a MONUMENTAL success. Load and ReLoad possess some of the darkest (and best) lyrics I've ever heard, capitalize on MetallicAs UNMATCHED ability to set atmosphere and tone and, unlike ANY other record I've ever heard, feature unique flavors and sounds on almost every one of their songs. And St. Anger would've been a raging success had it been put out by a run of the mill metal band. I LOVE the raw style of St. Anger.

See, that's the cool thing about MetallicA (and it's very unique) virtually ALL of their albums have a different vibe and different influences. Again, why is this diversity a bad thing?

Bands and artists experiment and diversify for various reasons, yes. I most certainly understand that. But it's only truly successful when that band manages to make the end result, well, sound like them if that makes any sense. Consistency is the key word. Fans and other musicians alike aren't very receptive when you're just all over the board, trying to be a jack of all trades while not bothering to master any of them and not offering up your own spin on things.

You HONESTLY can't tell the "MetallicA sound" 5 seconds into a song... I remember hearing AJFA for the first time (I had only heard TBA and the Loads up to that point) I INSTANTLY knew that guitar sound was MetallicA. Hetfield's riffing is unique enough in its own right to set them apart. That's not even counting the raspy vocals HE pioneered (that EVERY metal singer tries to hit now) or their classic guitar harmony.

Look at Mastodon's new record "The Hunter". They've certainly experimented and changed some of their approach to how they write music — the tempos on many songs are slightly slower and the structures are more "poppy" rather than "proggy". But you really don't hear fans complaining because it still sounds like Mastodon. The guitar tones are still there, the vocals are similar to previous albums, the guitar skill i.e. the riffs are still there, the drumming is still techinical.

Mastodon's fans aren't anything like MetallicA fans (especially the 'betrayed' lot) .... and Mastodon sucks regardless. (Sorry, couldn't resist)

When Metallica "slowed things down" it didn't sound like Metallica. The difference between "Master of Puppets" and "The Black Album" is horrifically stark. Even the difference between "... And Justice For All" and "Puppets" is glaring and those two albums were released only about two years apart.

You can't listen to Death Magnetic and hear those early records?

What it boils down to is EVERYONE seems to have an issue with MetallicA... And the band is cool with that. James has OPENLY said "If you don't like what we do, don't buy our $h!." They're be plenty of hardcore fans (like me) to always support the band.

Tried to split that up into multiple posts, but the board combined it.

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So much angry. You'd think someone posted a link to the most annoying website on the internet or something.

:lol:

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Yeah, uh, dude...

"The Black Album" has to be one of the messiest, most confused sounding records I've had the misfortune of wading through.

You just lost all possible credibility with me after that statement. I won't be commenting further, but I might send a friend of mine in here to sort you out.

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Yeah, uh, dude...

"The Black Album" has to be one of the messiest, most confused sounding records I've had the misfortune of wading through.

You just lost all possible credibility with me after that statement. I won't be commenting further, but I might send a friend of mine in here to sort you out.

I'll get around to FOG's novella later, but before I do let me just say that I think this post is absolutely hilarious.

Now for more official business. In accordance with internet rules and regulations, I must inform you that before you bring in a friend, aquantance or accompliance to assist you in your handling of the emotional distress (known as "butthurt" in online lingo) you're experiencing from the traumatizing statement I made on Friday, you must fill out and send in the appropriate form. Please don't forget to file a copy for your records.

butthurt_report_form.jpg

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