Oracle of Delphi

Any Older Dads out there?

55 posts in this topic

My daughter will start driving this year and going off to some university in two years. Mrs. PCS is starting to have empty nest issues and keeps whispering in my ear it's not to late to have one more. She is hard to resist once she has her mind set on something. I'm 38 so I would be 56 by the time the next one would be going off to college.

So I guess my question is are there any older dads out there and if there are, looking back would you have had another child again, knowing what you know now?

If you want to PM me your answer, that's cool too.

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Hey Borger.. sounds like your daughters barely younger then me!..... if you guys lived closer, i could be your future son in law!.... you know, the kinda son in law that you allow to borrow a 69 A-Body!

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I'm 40 and I know there's no way I would want to start with another child. I have a 13 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. I will be almost 50 when my daughter graduates high school and almost ready to retire when she should make it through college (if she goes that route.).

I know empty nest sydrome kicks in and right now it looks to your wife like another one would be wonderful. Obviously, she has forgotton all of the stress and exhaustion that comes with a new child. But, think about this: when you new one is born, you would be 39. Their graduation from high school arrives when you hit 57. Then as you hope to retire, college costs kick in.

I am not saying that you should not have another child. I love my 2 dearly (although they both drive me nuts sometimes) and I am pretty sure you would feel the same about another child. But, the two of you are now at a point in your lives together where you should be able to look at it objectively and talk about it the same way. And that should be what you two do. Talk openly about it. Voice your concerns and thoguhts.

Good luck.

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Hey Borger.. sounds like your daughters barely younger then me!..... if you guys lived closer, i could be your future son in law!.... you know, the kinda son in law that you allow to borrow a 69 A-Body!

Kill me now! :smilewide:

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I'm 40 and I know there's no way I would want to start with another child. I have a 13 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. I will be almost 50 when my daughter graduates high school and almost ready to retire when she should make it through college (if she goes that route.).

I know empty nest sydrome kicks in and right now it looks to your wife like another one would be wonderful. Obviously, she has forgotton all of the stress and exhaustion that comes with a new child. But, think about this: when you new one is born, you would be 39. Their graduation from high school arrives when you hit 57. Then as you hope to retire, college costs kick in.

I am not saying that you should not have another child. I love my 2 dearly (although they both drive me nuts sometimes) and I am pretty sure you would feel the same about another child. But, the two of you are now at a point in your lives together where you should be able to look at it objectively and talk about it the same way. And that should be what you two do. Talk openly about it. Voice your concerns and thoguhts.

Good luck.

Thanks for your perspective. I'm about where you are on the issue.

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Kill me now! :smilewide:

to be serious though.. even though im only 17, im scared of if i ever have a daughter.. Be careful borger! boys my age (myself excluded of course :AH-HA_wink: ) have a nasty mind! i know when my future daughter brings home a boy, ill be making some threats :P

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to be serious though.. even though im only 17, im scared of if i ever have a daughter.. Be careful borger! boys my age (myself excluded of course :AH-HA_wink: ) have a nasty mind! i know when my future daughter brings home a boy, ill be making some threats :P

No need to make threats, just clean your gun as the boy waits for your daughter to get ready. :AH-HA_wink:

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i was scared $h!less the first time i went to my girlfriends house over a year ago... i had already met her parents twice, but it was the first time i had met the rifle hanging in their living room... her father was a cap, and takes pride in his guns :unsure:

i get along perfect with him now, but that kept the fear in me! :P

You gotta dig a hole in the back yard, and fill the hole back in so it can be seen... when a boy comes by, put your arm around him, point to the hole and say "Thats my daughters last boy friend"

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My daughter looks like her mother but acts like me. :smilewide: She could name every GM brand since she could talk, well all of them except Holden, we don't allow her to say dirty words. :AH-HA_wink:

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Maybe she'll get smart and rebel soon. :P
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My plan to deal with any boyfriends who may come over is this:

I will be sitting on my front porch wearing bib coveralls with no shirt, cleaning a rifle.

As the kid comes up to the porch my son is to come from around the back of the house with a shovel and say, "Pa, we is running out of room back there!"

I think neither of us will have shoes on either.

I have always loved Bill Engvall's approach as well. Look them in they eyes and tell them how much you love your daughter and then add, "I ain't afraid to go BACK to prison."

Daughter's are God's revenge for how we were as kids. :lol:

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:P awesome.... im so happy that my girlfriends dad didnt try to scare me too much.. but im a prefect gentlemen :AH-HA_wink:
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...but im a prefect gentlemen:lol:
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hahahaha im an idiot:P

I think I developed a BS alarm when I had kids. I can tell when either of my kids is trying to pull a fast one. Hopefully, it works well when my daughter wants to start dating.

And PCS, remember there are no bad words, only bad intentions. Holden is not a bad word. In fact, if you say it a few times, a transformation might come over you and you will realize how wrong you are.

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Friends of our had another one at 37....and they are getting their butts kicked right now....

Being part of the 30 crowd myself, I think our little guy will be our only one...

I don't want to push my health issues too much..

If you were under 30, I'd say go for it....

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And PCS, remember there are no bad words, only bad intentions. Holden is not a bad word. In fact, if you say it a few times, a transformation might come over you and you will realize how wrong you are.

How can that be when everyone in GM is saying how right I was, all along? :AH-HA_wink:

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How can that be when everyone in GM is saying how right I was, all along? :AH-HA_wink:

Hey hey HEY... you guys, don't ruin a perfectly good thread! :rolleyes:

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Back to the subject at hand, there's no chance of me becoming a new dad, and at 42, if I had the opportunity I doubt I would take it. My oldest son is 22 now and my youngest daughter is 14. I have settled into being the father of a teenage daughter and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am glad I am beyond the diaper changing and terrible 2's. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but it was a hard parenting time for me and I just never want to go back to it.

As for my daughter dating, she talks about boys who like her and I just have to let her make her own decisions. If she gets into a relationship that I see as dangerous then I will step in, but right now its all pretty innocent. I have had one boy come to the house to pick her up for a group function and he looked pretty nervous around me. I wasn't overly nice to him, but I didn't do anything to scare the $h! out of him. I'm 6'5" tall and 265 lbs of muscle. I don't want to scare him anymore than he already is.

Hey Borger, life begins at 40. :AH-HA_wink:

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How can that be when everyone in GM is saying how right I was, all along? :AH-HA_wink:

Admitting you have hallucinations is the first step to recovering! *nods*

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Back to the subject at hand, there's no chance of me becoming a new dad, and at 42, if I had the opportunity I doubt I would take it. My oldest son is 22 now and my youngest daughter is 14. I have settled into being the father of a teenage daughter and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am glad I am beyond the diaper changing and terrible 2's. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but it was a hard parenting time for me and I just never want to go back to it.

As for my daughter dating, she talks about boys who like her and I just have to let her make her own decisions. If she gets into a relationship that I see as dangerous then I will step in, but right now its all pretty innocent. I have had one boy come to the house to pick her up for a group function and he looked pretty nervous around me. I wasn't overly nice to him, but I didn't do anything to scare the $h! out of him. I'm 6'5" tall and 265 lbs of muscle. I don't want to scare him anymore than he already is.

Hey Borger, life begins at 40. :AH-HA_wink:

I know how you feel for the most part. I may joke around but I do want both of my kids to have a healthy childhood. As for my daughter, I hope I am raising her to make good decisions for herself. And when she starts dating, I pray that she will not do anything too stupid. Anyway, if someone tries to force her to do something she doesn't want then hopefully the martial arts classes I am paying for will help.

And if life begins at 40, woohoo.

Borger, as I said before, this is something you have to talk seriously over with your wife. The one thing you don't want to do is make a rash decision and then realize later that it might not have been right. I wouldn't have another child unless you were absolutely certain it was right for BOTH of you. How would you feel when you reach 50. Also, as bad as this may sound, there is a slight possibility that you could wind up resenting your child and/or their needs as you approach retirement. I know it sounds bad but I seen it happen to otherwise great parents. And then you feel guilty about that.

We can give you all of the advice in the world. But it is up to you and the Mrs. to find what is right for you.

Take care and good luck.

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Well I'll look at it from two perspectives. If you need a donor, I'll be more than happy to be your baby daddy. Or if you simply need a boyfriend for your daughter, I'll be more than happy to take on that role too. :smilewide:

All kidding aside, despite me only being 20, I've actually thought about this issue before. I don't think I could have a kid knowing that by the time they're just hitting life in college I'll be over the hill and on the decline. However, whatever you choose is obviously your choice and your business. I just wouldn't do it myself.. but maybe that's my age speaking. I don't think I'd want my dad to be 40 years older than me; I'd probably never meet my grandparents at an older age so I could remember them. I don't know...

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Over the hill and on the decline? At 42, I feel like I am only beginning to live. The truth is, if you take care of your body by controlling what food goes into your body and exercising, you can remain young for alot longer. I'm far from on the decline. I got the goods to make more kids, but I like that the relationships I have with my daughter and son, and future daughter in law (ugh) are the kind where we are comfortable enough with each other to spend lots of time doing outdoor activities together and exercise together. Old and over the hill? Not me. I don't plan on being "over the hill" until I am in mid 70's. I want to be the next generation's Jack LeLange. :lol:

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