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Any Older Dads out there?

Oracle of Delphi

By Oracle of Delphi
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Oracle of Delphi Newbie

Oracle of Delphi

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My daughter will start driving this year and going off to some university in two years. Mrs. PCS is starting to have empty nest issues and keeps whispering in my ear it's not to late to have one more. She is hard to resist once she has her mind set on something. I'm 38 so I would be 56 by the time the next one would be going off to college.

So I guess my question is are there any older dads out there and if there are, looking back would you have had another child again, knowing what you know now?

If you want to PM me your answer, that's cool too.

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zhawk Newbie

zhawk

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I'm 40 and I know there's no way I would want to start with another child. I have a 13 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. I will be almost 50 when my daughter graduates high school and almost ready to retire when she should make it through college (if she goes that route.).

I know empty nest sydrome kicks in and right now it looks to your wife like another one would be wonderful. Obviously, she has forgotton all of the stress and exhaustion that comes with a new child. But, think about this: when you new one is born, you would be 39. Their graduation from high school arrives when you hit 57. Then as you hope to retire, college costs kick in.

I am not saying that you should not have another child. I love my 2 dearly (although they both drive me nuts sometimes) and I am pretty sure you would feel the same about another child. But, the two of you are now at a point in your lives together where you should be able to look at it objectively and talk about it the same way. And that should be what you two do. Talk openly about it. Voice your concerns and thoguhts.

Good luck.

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Oracle of Delphi Newbie

Oracle of Delphi

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I'm 40 and I know there's no way I would want to start with another child. I have a 13 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. I will be almost 50 when my daughter graduates high school and almost ready to retire when she should make it through college (if she goes that route.).

I know empty nest sydrome kicks in and right now it looks to your wife like another one would be wonderful. Obviously, she has forgotton all of the stress and exhaustion that comes with a new child. But, think about this: when you new one is born, you would be 39. Their graduation from high school arrives when you hit 57. Then as you hope to retire, college costs kick in.

I am not saying that you should not have another child. I love my 2 dearly (although they both drive me nuts sometimes) and I am pretty sure you would feel the same about another child. But, the two of you are now at a point in your lives together where you should be able to look at it objectively and talk about it the same way. And that should be what you two do. Talk openly about it. Voice your concerns and thoguhts.

Good luck.

Thanks for your perspective. I'm about where you are on the issue.

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SuperSport623 Newbie

SuperSport623

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Kill me now! :smilewide:

to be serious though.. even though im only 17, im scared of if i ever have a daughter.. Be careful borger! boys my age (myself excluded of course :AH-HA_wink: ) have a nasty mind! i know when my future daughter brings home a boy, ill be making some threats :P

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Oracle of Delphi Newbie

Oracle of Delphi

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to be serious though.. even though im only 17, im scared of if i ever have a daughter.. Be careful borger! boys my age (myself excluded of course :AH-HA_wink: ) have a nasty mind! i know when my future daughter brings home a boy, ill be making some threats :P

No need to make threats, just clean your gun as the boy waits for your daughter to get ready. :AH-HA_wink:

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SuperSport623 Newbie

SuperSport623

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i was scared $h!less the first time i went to my girlfriends house over a year ago... i had already met her parents twice, but it was the first time i had met the rifle hanging in their living room... her father was a cap, and takes pride in his guns :unsure:

i get along perfect with him now, but that kept the fear in me! :P

You gotta dig a hole in the back yard, and fill the hole back in so it can be seen... when a boy comes by, put your arm around him, point to the hole and say "Thats my daughters last boy friend"

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zhawk Newbie

zhawk

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My plan to deal with any boyfriends who may come over is this:

I will be sitting on my front porch wearing bib coveralls with no shirt, cleaning a rifle.

As the kid comes up to the porch my son is to come from around the back of the house with a shovel and say, "Pa, we is running out of room back there!"

I think neither of us will have shoes on either.

I have always loved Bill Engvall's approach as well. Look them in they eyes and tell them how much you love your daughter and then add, "I ain't afraid to go BACK to prison."

Daughter's are God's revenge for how we were as kids. :lol:

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zhawk Newbie

zhawk

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hahahaha im an idiot:P

I think I developed a BS alarm when I had kids. I can tell when either of my kids is trying to pull a fast one. Hopefully, it works well when my daughter wants to start dating.

And PCS, remember there are no bad words, only bad intentions. Holden is not a bad word. In fact, if you say it a few times, a transformation might come over you and you will realize how wrong you are.

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K.C. Newbie

K.C.

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Back to the subject at hand, there's no chance of me becoming a new dad, and at 42, if I had the opportunity I doubt I would take it. My oldest son is 22 now and my youngest daughter is 14. I have settled into being the father of a teenage daughter and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am glad I am beyond the diaper changing and terrible 2's. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but it was a hard parenting time for me and I just never want to go back to it.

As for my daughter dating, she talks about boys who like her and I just have to let her make her own decisions. If she gets into a relationship that I see as dangerous then I will step in, but right now its all pretty innocent. I have had one boy come to the house to pick her up for a group function and he looked pretty nervous around me. I wasn't overly nice to him, but I didn't do anything to scare the $h! out of him. I'm 6'5" tall and 265 lbs of muscle. I don't want to scare him anymore than he already is.

Hey Borger, life begins at 40. :AH-HA_wink:

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zhawk Newbie

zhawk

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Back to the subject at hand, there's no chance of me becoming a new dad, and at 42, if I had the opportunity I doubt I would take it. My oldest son is 22 now and my youngest daughter is 14. I have settled into being the father of a teenage daughter and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am glad I am beyond the diaper changing and terrible 2's. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but it was a hard parenting time for me and I just never want to go back to it.

As for my daughter dating, she talks about boys who like her and I just have to let her make her own decisions. If she gets into a relationship that I see as dangerous then I will step in, but right now its all pretty innocent. I have had one boy come to the house to pick her up for a group function and he looked pretty nervous around me. I wasn't overly nice to him, but I didn't do anything to scare the $h! out of him. I'm 6'5" tall and 265 lbs of muscle. I don't want to scare him anymore than he already is.

Hey Borger, life begins at 40. :AH-HA_wink:

I know how you feel for the most part. I may joke around but I do want both of my kids to have a healthy childhood. As for my daughter, I hope I am raising her to make good decisions for herself. And when she starts dating, I pray that she will not do anything too stupid. Anyway, if someone tries to force her to do something she doesn't want then hopefully the martial arts classes I am paying for will help.

And if life begins at 40, woohoo.

Borger, as I said before, this is something you have to talk seriously over with your wife. The one thing you don't want to do is make a rash decision and then realize later that it might not have been right. I wouldn't have another child unless you were absolutely certain it was right for BOTH of you. How would you feel when you reach 50. Also, as bad as this may sound, there is a slight possibility that you could wind up resenting your child and/or their needs as you approach retirement. I know it sounds bad but I seen it happen to otherwise great parents. And then you feel guilty about that.

We can give you all of the advice in the world. But it is up to you and the Mrs. to find what is right for you.

Take care and good luck.

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NOS2006 Newbie

NOS2006

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Well I'll look at it from two perspectives. If you need a donor, I'll be more than happy to be your baby daddy. Or if you simply need a boyfriend for your daughter, I'll be more than happy to take on that role too. :smilewide:

All kidding aside, despite me only being 20, I've actually thought about this issue before. I don't think I could have a kid knowing that by the time they're just hitting life in college I'll be over the hill and on the decline. However, whatever you choose is obviously your choice and your business. I just wouldn't do it myself.. but maybe that's my age speaking. I don't think I'd want my dad to be 40 years older than me; I'd probably never meet my grandparents at an older age so I could remember them. I don't know...

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K.C. Newbie

K.C.

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Over the hill and on the decline? At 42, I feel like I am only beginning to live. The truth is, if you take care of your body by controlling what food goes into your body and exercising, you can remain young for alot longer. I'm far from on the decline. I got the goods to make more kids, but I like that the relationships I have with my daughter and son, and future daughter in law (ugh) are the kind where we are comfortable enough with each other to spend lots of time doing outdoor activities together and exercise together. Old and over the hill? Not me. I don't plan on being "over the hill" until I am in mid 70's. I want to be the next generation's Jack LeLange. :lol:

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Oracle of Delphi Newbie

Oracle of Delphi

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Thanks NOS, I think I can handle it, It's like riding a bike, you never really forget how. :P I agree K.C. life begins at 40, my life that is. My plans for me being 40 is just having more time for Mrs. PCS like we were back in our 20's, before my daughter arrived. As a matter of fact my plan is to pick right back up where we left off when I was 22. I travel a lot now for work, but most times Mrs. PCS does not attend. I see a lot of traveling together in our future as soon as my daughter goes off to college. My parents own a home in St. Croix US Virgin Islands and we have a place in Conroe, TX that we like to get away to.

Thanks for the advice zhawk, my thinking is almost on par with yours, but my wife counters that I'm a really good father to my daughter and think how much better you'd be if another one came along now, truth is having a daughter was a piece of cake, just because she was my daughter and not my son helped make me a good father, since she was and is a good kid that has always gotten good grades in school and has known that she wants to be a doctor, since she was 6 years old. I feel if I had a son, I would be less successful as a parent because in my mind, we would always be butting heads on issues, but who knows I could be wrong, I'm basing that on my own relationship growing up with my own parents, they would say something was white, I would say it was black, they would say it was black, I would say it was white, you get the picture. Having a son scares the $h! out of me just for that reason, I don't know if I have the strength to have those kind of running battles into my late 50's. I've become a better son to my father as I have gotten older. When my father had his massive stroke last summer and we thought he was going to die, I read the copy of his will that he left in my safe deposit box should anything happen to him, out of his three sons I was the only one he called his beloved son, maybe because I was the oldest or the one that broke him in as a parent or maybe he just loved to fight with me, I don't know, the sad thing is I will never know.

Your right about one thing, this is something we (me & the Mrs.) need to talk about, and soon. I think if we do decide to have another child and it's a boy, I will name it after my dad.

Edited by Pontiac Custom-S
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Blake Noble Newbie

Blake Noble

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Hey Borger.. sounds like your daughters barely younger then me!..... if you guys lived closer, i could be your future son in law!.... you know, the kinda son in law that you allow to borrow a 69 A-Body!

Hey now, don't count me out of this game. :AH-HA_wink: Try going to sleep tonight with that thought in your head Borger. How's a Holden-lovin' son-in-law sound to ya? :smilewide:

:P

Edited by YellowJacket894
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balthazar

balthazar

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PCS- you're closer to a grandchild than pushing another child out the door- hold off Mrs PCS a few years and you can have selective/limited parenthood and still have time for travel/life-when-U-were-22 at the same time.

Me, I built a 3 bedroom house as a reminder I did not wish Mrs. B & I to be outnumbered (I have 2 sons).

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gmpartsgirl Newbie

gmpartsgirl

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Well, I'm not a dad but I am a mommy. I'm only 33, and my kid will be 18 when I'm 36. My hubby and I are very much looking forward to be able to do things together, vacations, project cars or just whatever. I figure we'll have at least one grandbaby soon enough, and that will help any empty nest syndrome we feel. I'm more worried about just sitting here staring at each other, not really knowing each other anymore, not knowing what to do now. We started so young, been together since high school, so we've never had a chance to just be a couple, and enjoy each other. We'll see what happens. But whatever you choose will work out just fine. Just talk it out thoroughly and carefully. Good luck.

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regfootball Community Regular

regfootball

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39 1/2.

have a 4 1/2 year old.

we've always said we wanted 2.

well. it's crunch time. wife says the kid needs a companion, and i agree. at the same time, i'm like pcs. i think about being almost 60 and having a teen.

we actually were prego briefly at the end of last year. were.

my Gfather married when he was 45 and fathered 5 children after that, last born when he was 60. kudos to him, he lived til 95. i won't be able to live that long.

i am terribly on the fence due to age, but feel remore for not getting it done sooner.

kids ain't cheap either.

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knightfan26917

knightfan26917

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I have had one boy come to the house to pick her up for a group function and he looked pretty nervous around me. I wasn't overly nice to him, but I didn't do anything to scare the $h! out of him.

LOL!

This reminds me of that cell phone commercial ... where the boy is at the house picking up the man's daughter. And, while the girl is out of the room, the father comments about how both he and the boy are in her daughter's fav five ... and that it is like he (the Dad) is watching the boy "all the time".... And the look on the Dad's face as he says, "Have a goodnight" ... priceless....LOL!

Cort:34swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve&pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"When's this fever going to break?" ... Carlos Santana ... 'Why Don't You And I?'

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Oracle of Delphi Newbie

Oracle of Delphi

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LOL!

This reminds me of that cell phone commercial ... where the boy is at the house picking up the man's daughter. And, while the girl is out of the room, the father comments about how both he and the boy are in her daughter's fav five ... and that it is like he (the Dad) is watching the boy "all the time".... And the look on the Dad's face as he says, "Have a goodnight" ... priceless....LOL!

Cort:34swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve&pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"When's this fever going to break?" ... Carlos Santana ... 'Why Don't You And I?'

This would be more my style in that vein. I laughed my ass off when I 1st saw this.

http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=nb3mshCWmgA

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Camino LS6 Newbie

Camino LS6

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At 43, a lifelong friend of mine has just recently become a Dad for the second time. He called me the other day to discuss this very issue. His much younger (and gorgeous) wife has been pushing a bit for another child, and he wanted to talk. I told him all of the things that he needed to anticipate if they were to do this, and I really can't say how much our discussion will influence their decision. Financially they can handle it, but the strain emotionally and the time-limiting effect of having a kid in High School when he is in his 60s worries him. I have all but completely ruled out the idea of kids in my life since I never really wanted to be a father, and at 44 it would be extremely difficult to make such a commitment.

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intrigued Newbie

intrigued

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I'm my folks youngest (I have one older brother) and was born when my mom was 36 and dad was 37. My brother was 12 at the time so there was quite a gap. My folks had tried for a lond time after my brother to have another kid but it just didn't work out, with one miscarriage in the middle till i finally came along. I know my folks have told me in hindsight, I'd say im 97 percent grown up at almost 22, that the relativley long age gap worked out very well. My brother and I both had the single child attention when we were younger and craved it more but my brother wasn't constantly in the parental eye when he was in highschool because I was a toddler and I wasnt as much when by midway through my hgihschool career when my neice was born and my mom did a lot of babysitting.

Eiherway my parents kept on trucking even though my dad has moderatley bad MS and is less than two years from 60. For a guy who struggles to walk he is still pretty active in most ways that matter, and loves every second with his family and by not overspending and having saved a lot of money when he was younger he still supports a lot of the family though my brother and I both contribute.

My Mom loves her granddaughter, (with another due this week!) and has never had a long bought of empty nest syndrome thanks to my brother. She already wants me to start thinking about settling down to have kids! (no way thats happening for a while.) It all depends on who you are, what your life goals are and if your healthy. My parents were even thinking about adpoting anothe in their late 40's but with my fathers MS getting worse they decided it wasn't a good idea.

Just my few cents on the subject from the perspective of someone who was born and raised by to loving folks who were only a year or two your junior.

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the_yellow_dart Newbie

the_yellow_dart

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My father was 34 and has absolutely no regrets, at least not that he's told me about! :AH-HA_wink:

I can't imagine having a child before 30. I'm 24 and I'm not even sure if I'm ready for marriage yet, never mind a kid.

A friend of mine has a very interesting family. He's 25 and his younger sister is 21. He has three half-siblings from his father's previous marriage, all in their 30s and 40s. His father just turned 80. That's right, do the math. My friend was born when his father was 55 and his sister at 59.

For an 80 year old, he's very together and up on society, not out of touch like most grandparent 80 year olds.

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Oracle of Delphi Newbie

Oracle of Delphi

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My father was 34 and has absolutely no regrets, at least not that he's told me about! :AH-HA_wink:

I can't imagine having a child before 30. I'm 24 and I'm not even sure if I'm ready for marriage yet, never mind a kid.

A friend of mine has a very interesting family. He's 25 and his younger sister is 21. He has three half-siblings from his father's previous marriage, all in their 30s and 40s. His father just turned 80. That's right, do the math. My friend was born when his father was 55 and his sister at 59.

For an 80 year old, he's very together and up on society, not out of touch like most grandparent 80 year olds.

Is the 80 year old man Italian? :scratchchin:

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