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Yeah, so it's Thursday. Dinner at mom's once again. I called her from my truck to tell her I'd be a few minutes late because I had to pick up my taxes. Big mistake. All evening she tried to pry out of me how much my refund will be. "It's not a big thing. How much will you get back?" "I'm not going to ask you to buy me anything." "I'll bet if your dad asked you, you'd tell him." etc., etc. Then she turned to "well, now that you've joined a gym, have you met any girls there?" "Is your new truck as nice as your old one?"

I swear, it's in their DNA. Is everyone's mom this way? :alcoholic::wacko: :AH-HA_wink:

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Yes, my mom constantly asks questions. The other night she called me to see how I was doing. That's all fine and well, but then she asked me all these other questions for about two minutes, and I was trying to get some work done. I want to be like, "Mom, I'm not five anymore, and if I needed something I'd call you to let you know, so please just let me be and don't call me for absolutely no reason at all except to see if everything is going okay. If it wasn't, I'd call you and tell you," but I don't want to be rude.

I don't remember what she asked me last night at all because I was trying to do other stuff and just kept answering yes or no without really caring what she was asking. However, the other night I had an intramural basketball game, and she called me to make sure my sister was coming to pick me up, and to make sure I took a gatorade to get a drink. When I told her I didn't have a gatorade, she said to be sure to take water then. I was like, "mom, they have drinking fountains at the gym."

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"Don't be a cowboy, Billy. Be carefule...don't be a cowboy." :lol:

Pay careful attention to Ray's mother on Everybody Loves Raymond. That's my mom, and every Italian mom ever.

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I swear, it's in their DNA. Is everyone's mom this way?

In every way possible. It's part of the reason I rarely bring friends over. She won't start until they're gone, but once she does, it's an interrogation. Same thing for once I come home from being out... It's led to a few arguements, needless to say.

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Yeah, so it's Thursday. Dinner at mom's once again. I called her from my truck to tell her I'd be a few minutes late because I had to pick up my taxes. Big mistake. All evening she tried to pry out of me how much my refund will be. "It's not a big thing. How much will you get back?" "I'm not going to ask you to buy me anything." "I'll bet if your dad asked you, you'd tell him." etc., etc. Then she turned to "well, now that you've joined a gym, have you met any girls there?" "Is your new truck as nice as your old one?"

I swear, it's in their DNA. Is everyone's mom this way? :alcoholic::wacko: :AH-HA_wink:

Why does this bother you?

Yes, my mother asks questions like this, and I answer her because I think they're reasonable. I'm not a rebellious teen anymore so I see no reason to withhold information from my parents.

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I used to get sick of it to. Than I decided Id try telling her everything she asked and it blew her away. For example...

Mom: why are you sleeping in so late Saturday afternoon? (after I dont answer my cell or call her back till 3)

Me: Well mom its because I ran up a 200 dollar bar tab last night and half of that was for myself.

Mom: You did what (gets angry at me and tells me off)

Me: Would you rather I had lied about it? I can just not tell you next time.

Mom: Well, I guess as long as you never drive back, you dont need to tell me about this.

Me: ok.

Sometime being completley honest will scare them into silence. Of course there are still things I dont tell, like whether or not I had a female companion for the night.

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Why does this bother you?

Yes, my mother asks questions like this, and I answer her because I think they're reasonable. I'm not a rebellious teen anymore so I see no reason to withhold information from my parents.

Um, maybe those kinds of questions are reasonable if you tell your mother EVERYTHING...but tax refund? None of her business. New truck as nice as old one? No, mom, I figured I'd downgrade big time with this one. :rolleyes: Gym and girls? OK that one's reasonable.

Seriously Bill, you need to tell her. And honestly, even if she takes it badly, just be like "see! This is why I waited 20 years to tell you!" I have a feeling she'll take it well though...

Anyway...

My mom asks a lot of dumb obvious questions...but her thing is she repeats the same questions within a short time period. It gets old. That said, the distance helps, and it only really bothers me when she freaks out over the holidays...and at least now she's stopped caring about setting a good example for the kids that she FINALLY is medicating it with alcohol like she did back in the early 80s. It's kinda sad...she felt so compelled to set a good example for 20 years that she held herself to a glass of wine once or twice a week, and never more than a gin and tonic at nice restaurants...now she comes home from work, pours herself a glass of wine, and sits in front of the TV watching the season discs of The OC every night without fail. Over the holidays she now has a few glasses, and she's a lot less high strung and stressed out...more easygoing, etc. Yet another example of how much total abstinence sucks.

Edited by Croc

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Moms are people who love you so much and worry about you incesantly

to the point where their concern can come close to killing you at times.

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I used to get sick of it to. Than I decided Id try telling her everything she asked and it blew her away. For example...

Mom: why are you sleeping in so late Saturday afternoon? (after I dont answer my cell or call her back till 3)

Me: Well mom its because I ran up a 200 dollar bar tab last night and half of that was for myself.

Mom: You did what (gets angry at me and tells me off)

Me: Would you rather I had lied about it? I can just not tell you next time.

Mom: Well, I guess as long as you never drive back, you dont need to tell me about this.

Me: ok.

Sometime being completley honest will scare them into silence. Of course there are still things I dont tell, like whether or not I had a female companion for the night.

Make sure you do tell her if you have a male companion for the night though.....

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You have some interesting priorities Croc. I'm more comfortable telling my parents about my finances than telling them about women.

I said "reasonable" not preferable. I don't particularly like talking about that with my mother...but in Bill's case since he isn't out to her and just joined a gym, it's a logical question. I'm glad you're comfortable discussing finances with your parents, but I keep that to overall financial outlooks...It honestly would never occur to me to ask another person about their tax returns...it's just none of anyone's business...but maybe that's just how I was brought up.

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I feel guilty because I lied to my mother.

"So, now that you've joined a gym, have you met any girls there?"

"No, they're all fat old ladies."

"No they're not, that's not what's on the commercials. They're all skinny, built girls in the commercials."

"You don't believe me?"

I am stuck, like a dusty needle on a record.

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Lets see I went from being a Drug Addict then went into the Service. both parents against both We never agreed on anything. Barely talked much. But Now I realize how foolish I was and more foolish for some of my decisions. There is still some hard feelings but generally I try to stay in touch often. I wish life had a mulligan. Definitely use a driver than a 9 iron on a par 5.

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I guess I have the opposite situation. I came out to my parents many years ago and ever since then it has shut down nearly all conversation about anything personal. I guess they were afraid of what I might say if they brought anything up. So, when I go back home, the conversation typically consists of a question about how work is going and how my car is running. Beyond that, we sit and watch television. Needless to say, I don't go home much.

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Moms are people who love you so much and worry about you incesantly to the point where their concern can come close to killing you at times.

*nods*

Very true. Mom keeps asking me questions about the details of the pacemaker replacement that I'll endure this coming Monday. I keep telling her all I know, but she seems to think I know more than I'm telling. I don't.

*shrugs*

Ocn, I have advice, and its 5 words

Shady Pines Ma! Shady Pines!

LOL!

Great quote, KC! He he ... loved that show ;).

Cort:33swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve.pacemaker

PICS:lego.HO.model.MCinfo.RT.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"I kept my heart hidden" ... Bryan White ... 'So Much For Pretending'

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I said "reasonable" not preferable. I don't particularly like talking about that with my mother...but in Bill's case since he isn't out to her and just joined a gym, it's a logical question. I'm glad you're comfortable discussing finances with your parents, but I keep that to overall financial outlooks...It honestly would never occur to me to ask another person about their tax returns...it's just none of anyone's business...but maybe that's just how I was brought up.

I know what you mean Croc. I would never ask someone else either (for fear of belittling or offending them). The only people who would ask me are my parents, but I would tell good friends if they asked too. I don't really take money that personally.

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I feel guilty because I lied to my mother.

"So, now that you've joined a gym, have you met any girls there?"

"No, they're all fat old ladies."

"No they're not, that's not what's on the commercials. They're all skinny, built girls in the commercials."

"You don't believe me?"

I am stuck, like a dusty needle on a record.

I generally avoid these personal types of subjects, but if the above is near verbatum... dude; she knows.

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My mother is Italian and therefore tends toward the neurotic. My brother will hang up on her or ignore her. Instead, I will scream at her and she then backs down.

My Mom has certain fears and phobias that she tries to impart on me: gambling and flying. If I go to Las Vegas, she worries about me being in the casinos. I am the most risk averse person out there. Just look at my Regal! So then why? Two of her stupid brothers had gambling problems. I go to Las Vegas to sit by the hotel pool, go to buffets and possibly go to Lake Mead. Most times, I've never even parted with ANY money in the casinos.

She also is afraid of flying. When I tell her I'm going to Europe or South America, she squirms "so you have to fly?" Well, duh. I then tell her the statistics espousing the safety of air travel. Because of her fear, when we were children, we had to go to Europe to see relatives by ship....3 days on Amtrak from LA to NY and then 7 days from NY to Italy...and the same again on the return. But my Dad was self-employed so he didn't care and he loved taking the ocean liner across the Atlantic.

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I'm an honest man. It kills me to keep this from my family. But I just... can't... get over that hill.

Bob, you're going to miss her when she's gone. Please try to forgive her failings as you see them. Until then, there's always Shady Pines.

Edited by ocnblu

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Moms are people who love you so much and worry about you incesantly

to the point where their concern can come close to killing you at times.

comes with the territory when they invest so much emotion and physical pain in carrying you physically and stuff. Its part of the female psyche men cannot ever get 100% I'm sure.

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I'm an honest man. It kills me to keep this from my family. But I just... can't... get over that hill.

I almost feel stupid for saying this because I know you already know it. You'll know when it is appropriate to tell them and you may never feel the time is right but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. If you were pretending to be a horn dog and dating women to fool people, that would be a lie. Simply not sharing something about yourself is not a lie.

Everybody has a different experience. I told my family and I don't regret having done it, but I didn't handle it in a good way and it did change things between us. My father was very old school and I never expected him to take it well, and he didn't. It became one of those things that was never mentioned again between us. My 2nd oldest brother is still an odd situation but we get along well. My mom, my 3 sisters and my oldest brother were supportive in their own way, but like I said, things were different afterwards. Not bad, just different and it's still sometimes awkward. I have to admit that a large part of the situation is my fault. I'm not comfortable going home so I don't do it often. I purposely keep a distance between my family and myself and that isn't all because of the gay issue. A large part of it is just my nature and I'm convinced it would be the same way even if I was straight, but that's a story for a different time.

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