The O.C.

Are You Attracted To People.....

70 posts in this topic

Okay......thought I'd get the C&G's team's feedback on this interesting topic (well interesting to me at least.)

I get $h! all the time from my friends because I'm 38 and I always end up dating guys in their mid-20's. I'm always asked....."Why don't you date guys your age or older?"

So I've been thinking about it alot.....and I don't have an answer. It just seems that the guys I'm attracted to and end up falling emotionally for tend to be somewhere around 10-12 years younger than me.

Before the "Daddy Complex" jokes start......LOL.....it's not that at all. I've always looked to my boyfriends, or guys I'm dating, as equals in our relationship.....not as me being the "leader" in the relationship just because I'm older.....

It's not that I don't find older guys attractive or what-not.....it's just that way more often than not, it's the younger guy I tend to fall for.

AND, I have a friend (our GSM here at the dealership too) that is 48.....and his wife of 1.5 years is only 29. That's almost 20 years' difference. Yet, they are so in love, and have such a wonderful relationship, it seems only natural. He doesn't seem 20 years older than her....and she doesn't seem 20 years younger than him.

In the end, I truly believe it's all about the person.....I truly don't think age (or race, or whatever) matters. It's just interesting that I always find myself back with the (somewhat significantly) younger guys........

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It's no big mystery, everyone is attracted to youth.

Now being willing to "go there" is another story.

But, on balance, age differences seem to be less of an issue for most people than once was the case.

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Ocn, I for one do not think there is nothing wrong with significant age difference. My first and only other significant other in my life was 14 years older than I was when I started dating her (not that the difference has shrunk). It does feel odd initially to look up to older one and be "mature" but at the same time it takes understanding to make the younger one feel comfortable. So as long you two are comfortable and fine with eachother the rest do not matter.

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i dated girls younger than me cause i thought thats how it worked. well then i tried dating girls older than me cause i figured maybe they new what they wanted in life instead of changing into a completely different person when they off to college. in both causes i have found age is a number its the person that makes the difference... except when it comes to that whole statue thing hehe... dont cross that line.

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as long as it's their age / 2 + 7.. i don't mind so much, if it 's a younger couple.. the older you are it matters much less.

I've not dated enough really to be able to answer that question well.

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i don't think its a problem, and personally, I think in a lot of cases, it shows increased tolerance on the part of both people. And probably a more open and youthful attitude on your part.

the people i get along most with at work at all younger. i don't mesh with my age peers.

Edited by regfootball
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Get this- my brother has been dating a woman older than him for many years. Clearly she was older, but he never volunteered her age & I never asked. After all the genealogoy stuff I've done over that same time period, I just looked her up via the internet last month. He's now 35.

She's 62.

They get along very well, seem happy, she's a very nice person. She doesn't seem any older than, say, 52 (!), but wow. I couldn't get past that, myself.

Over time, I've upped the 'ceiling' for what I've considered 'datable' material (I'm married- this is all hypothetical); the upper range keeps pace with my age or slightly past it, but the younger limit never rises. :wink:

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my grandpa was 45 when he married my grandma, 26. they had 6 kids (1 that passed). 19 years difference and they were like 2 peas in a pod.

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I like watching 19 year old girls get out of the swimming pool in wet bikini's, but the women I really like and think that I could date if I weren't married are all 35-45 years old.

Chris

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Definitely, 18-25 year olds can look great and "feel" great, but at 35, I've found that women who've dealt with real adversity, seen a lot of the world etc are just more interesting to be around and its rare to get that in a 25 year old.

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There is a 3 year age difference between my girlfriend and I. I tend to see it as nothing intentional, just a condition of our relationship.

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I think dating ONLY someone younger indicates a desire to have some kind of control or upper-hand in the relationship. Since, supposedly at an older age, one would be more financially secure. You are more likely to pick where you would go to eat or which movies/plays you go see. Also, could it be some kind of insecurity? Do you have a need to feel younger or are you trying to have one of those " I still got it" moments?

Only you know for sure why you date younger guys. I date younger, older, same age... as long as they are hot.

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SoCalCTS, you couldn't be any more wrong about that.

It has nothing to do with having an upper hand in the relationship. At least not for me. The reason why I am attracted to my girlfriend and ignored the age difference is that I believe that I have finally found someone who has virtually everything in common with me. (And the many coincidences between the two of us is quite hard for me to ignore as well.)

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Age doesnt mean very much to me. Seems in my case older women seem to understand me better than women my age or younger.

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I think dating ONLY someone younger indicates a desire to have some kind of control or upper-hand in the relationship. Since, supposedly at an older age, one would be more financially secure. You are more likely to pick where you would go to eat or which movies/plays you go see. Also, could it be some kind of insecurity? Do you have a need to feel younger or are you trying to have one of those " I still got it" moments?

Only you know for sure why you date younger guys. I date younger, older, same age... as long as they are hot.

+ 1

When I was single (oh, so long ago) and I had just turned 40, many, many 22 year olds were hitting on me in the clubs (for reasons that I won't shock anyone with) and, sure, I'd be the first to admit that I would take them home and, ahem, have a great one night stand - but that's it.

Look, there's certainly nothing 'wrong' with youth, but they are at a different stage in life and their viewpoints, career paths, etc. are not set yet. Plus, they tend to be oh, so over dramatic with everything - and that goes for 20-something year old girls as well as guys. Yeah, yeah, the sex is fantastic, but once that is over (or maybe twice or thrice) - then what?

My partner is 9 years younger than me, which has been pretty typical in my life, but the difference between 47 and 38 is not as significant as between 22 and 31 - although I have to hit the gym more often than he does. :AH-HA_wink:

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I think it just depends on where the cards fall on the table....I've seen it work both ways...

I have a friend who made lots of fun of single moms....and guess what he married? And guess what little girl has daddy wrapped around her finger?

I watched a older friend of mine married a 18 year old girl ( he was 29), and still married like two peas in a pod ten years later.....

Heck, I married a women older than I...(only a year though)....and we still are doing well...

Life can be interesting sometimes.....

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I'm almost 32 and I have felt attracted both to women in their early 40s and in their early 20s... Like Dave said, it just depends on where the cards fall on the table...

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I prefer my age or younger. But it seems like older people are interested in me more.
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I think dating ONLY someone younger indicates a desire to have some kind of control or upper-hand in the relationship.

ONLY is the operative word here. But it depends on HOW young and how that relates to your age. However, I think that, for people who do it this way ALL the time, it's about coveting youth and the need for affirmation.

Sidestepping the DATING issue, most people hang around people their own age, +/- 5 years. I think that's pretty standard. You went through the same phases at the same time and in the same decade. There are people at work in different age brackets that come by to "visit" or want to go to lunch. This one lady, early 60s, from New York and is who is sitcom-Italian bought me lunch 2 weeks ago. This one guy who is in his mid-20s and went to UCLA always comes by to "visit" or wants to go to lunch - well, he loves to talk about LA and he loves to complain...is it any wonder?

And single moms? Arrrgh. Who wants someone else's problems? Not PC...but WTF. I've only spent $ 2 on one...in my life! Our receptionist at the last firm I worked for wanted to go to dinner one Saturday and she brought her daughter. The only reason I spent $ 2 is because, when the bill came, I put down a $ 20 when my tab, with 15 % tip, would have been about $ 18.

But, yeah, if it's ALWAYS younger, then that's about "something else."

Edited by trinacriabob
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I won't date much younger than myself, but I would date a deal older. Guys younger than me tend to not be looking for a relationship and just want to mess around. I find the maturity level disturbing too. When I was a bit younger, I was more attracted to older men because they seemed to have their lives together.

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I won't date much younger than myself, but I would date a deal older. Guys younger than me tend to not be looking for a relationship and just want to mess around. I find the maturity level disturbing too. When I was a bit younger, I was more attracted to older men because they seemed to have their lives together.

Pauli, I have a lot of friends who are either female or gay, and I feel sorry for people who are looking for a stable relationship with a guy because it seems that the pool of good, available men is rather small. As the father of three daughters (two of which are teenagers) I can tell you that there is a very good reason that both of my teen daughters are very much turned off by most guys their age.

That being said, Mandy, the daughter of my good friend Cindy, is getting married to a great guy in April. There are good guys out there. But a whole lotta guys, esp. between about 13 and 35, seem to have no common sense or maturity whatsoever.

Good luck, dude. There are a lot of gay couples here in Columbus, and every time I see one I think of you and pray to the god of internal combustion that you find someone you like.

Chris

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ONLY is the operative word here. But it depends on HOW young and how that relates to your age. However, I think that, for people who do it this way ALL the time, it's about coveting youth and the need for affirmation.

Sidestepping the DATING issue, most people hang around people their own age, +/- 5 years. I think that's pretty standard. You went through the same phases at the same time and in the same decade. There are people at work in different age brackets that come by to "visit" or want to go to lunch. This one lady, early 60s, from New York and is who is sitcom-Italian bought me lunch 2 weeks ago. This one guy who is in his mid-20s and went to UCLA always comes by to "visit" or wants to go to lunch - well, he loves to talk about LA and he loves to complain...is it any wonder?

And single moms? Arrrgh. Who wants someone else's problems? Not PC...but WTF. I've only spent $ 2 on one...in my life! Our receptionist at the last firm I worked for wanted to go to dinner one Saturday and she brought her daughter. The only reason I spent $ 2 is because, when the bill came, I put down a $ 20 when my tab, with 15 % tip, would have been about $ 18.

But, yeah, if it's ALWAYS younger, then that's about "something else."

Actually if something happened to my wife, I would WANT to find a single mom, as I love kids. to each his own, I guess. But having kids is an attraction to dating older females for me, I would guess.

Chris

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