Oracle of Delphi

I Lost My Father And My Friend

42 posts in this topic

This will be the first time in my life, I'll celebrate the upcoming Holidays without my father. My father died yesterday morning, and a piece of me died with him.

It's funny, when I was a small child my father's word was law in our house, and I feared him. As a teen, I defied him, as a young adult in my 20's, I understood him and respected him, and as I entered my 30's, my father became my friend.

As the eldest child of three boys, I feel lucky in the fact that I had the most time with my father. Time I would not trade for all the money in the world.

My father and I had a simple and loving relationship, you see he suffered a devastating stroke last year which left him paralyzed on one side and almost unable to to speak. I watched him go through a lot of speech and physical therapy sessions in the last year, he did regain some speech back, but he was not back by any means to where he was before the stroke. Sometimes I think God sends things your way to humble you, not so much to humble my father, because he was a good man, but more to the point of humbling me.

But there were more good times than bad. My father loved to fish, and he tried to instill that love in us boys, but I am a Gemini, which means I get bored easily, and after about waiting 15 minutes with no bite on the line, I convinced my brother to go look for bugs with me, and I set the rod down, when we returned the rod was nowhere to be found, you see biggest darn fish you ever saw took the bait and pulled the rod out into the lake. My father must have cast 100 times into that lake, until he actually hooked the rod and pulled it and the fish to shore.

My father left me wonderful gifts that will sustain me throughout the rest of my life, my passion for nature, my curiosity about life, and my hunger for knowledge, these I will always treasure.

As my father lay dying in the hospital yesterday, I whispered in his ear I Love You Dad! He tried to say it back to me, but he was too weak. I said I know Dad, I've always known.

I will miss him more than he will ever know.

Edited by Pontiac Custom-S
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm sorry, PCS. Back when you and I were on better terms, I remember conversations about him.
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry to hear this, my Grandfather has been in a not too good way lately with his heart failing and it looking like they may need to remove an entire lung as a result of lung cancer so I can only imagine how you must feel and what you must be going through.

Stay strong.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am sorry about your loss. I lost my father in 1995, and I still miss him.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We talked briefly about this last night, I'm very sorry about your loss, and my thoughts are with you PCS.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so terribly sorry, B. Your father sounds like a great man, and I'm sure he's proud of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. If you need anything, let me know.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My deepest condolences.

May your father rest in peace.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey, Borger, I am very sorry.

I was touched by your story, as you tend to, at other times, be flip, so I knew this was from your heart.

It sounds like you had your power struggles with your dad. This is an area I am VERY familiar with. However, my dad alternated between being a disciplinarian and my friend. At times, I thought the discipline was excessive, so I lashed back with fury he wasn't expecting.

You use the astrological analysis, so, if you follow the stereotypes of certain signs, he was a Leo (also short and having the same b-day as Napoleon) and I'm a Sagittarius (the "eff you" sign), you can imagine how two strong-willed people got along.

But you've got things he taught you and I am sure he appreciated many qualities in you. For me, the positive things are that my dad liked anything having to do with culture and geography, having lived in Australia, Europe and both coasts of North America. He'd also been to Africa. So he passed that on. When we went to Europe by ship, he'd lift me up onto the railing high enough so I could see Lisbon, Gibraltar or Genoa. He thought everyone was a "trip" and disliked sterile people, starting up conversations with people on ships, trains and planes. My Mom tells me I'm just like him.

The good memories, and faith that they are in a better place, enable us to carry on. So, he, you and your family are in my prayers.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry for your loss. I can certainly relate to you and growing up with Dad. My Dad too was THE law when I was growing up. Some of it was extreme but leter on things got better and in the last few years we too did a lot of things together. My love of B-bodies comes from my dad. Or most anything GM as far as that goes. My dad understood that the only way to get ahead was through work. My dad died June 7th 2007, about 2 months and 7 days before him and Mom and I were to move into our new house that was being built since the old one was going to be torn down. His death was pretty sudden within 2 weeks. Its bean over a year and myself and my sister think about it each and every day. Good luck to you and your family.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So sorry to hear of your loss.

I know we disagree a lot here, but your father raised a smart man and you should be proud.

He'll always be with you in spirit, and I'm a firm believer that we'll all meet our loved ones again when our time here is over.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear, Borger.

I know you'll always miss him, but it's good to know that he's not in pain anymore.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear about your dad, PCS. I haven't had to go through the loss of a parent yet and don't know how I will handle it when it happens. Just know that you'll always have your memories...your dad may be physically gone, but he will live on in your thoughts. As kids, we don't really appreciate the wisdom and care that our parents give until it finally dawns on us in their final years. I wish you and your family the best in this difficult time.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm very sorry about your loss, and my thoughts are with you PCS.. I lost my father in 1999 on Non-Hodgekins Lymphoma when I was 29..wish I had had more time to spend with him as an adult... he was 50 when I was born, retired at 55, so I did get alot of time w/ him growing up..

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A sad day for you Borger, I know.

I remember when the stroke happened, and we spoke on the phone at length about this. The loss of your father is striking in a way that other losses simply are not. I send my condolences to you and yours in a difficult time.

As one who does understand just how this feels, I remind you that you have my number.

Use it if you feel the need - I'll be here.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Aye, PCS ... very sorry for your loss.

Very nice tribute that you wrote here to share with us.

Thoughts/prayers coming to you and your family....

Cort | 35swm | "Mr Monte Carlo"."Mr Road Trip" | pig valve.pacemaker

WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort

"My time here is over" ... Patty Loveless ... 'How Can I Help You Say Goodbye?'

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

God bless him. My condolences to your family. From what you describe, he was a strong man and great man.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

obviously im not as close to you as some of the other people on here but it always hurts to know that a good person is going through some tough times...may ur father rest in peace and my prayers are with you and ur fam...he made you into the person you are today so always cherish the memories....god bless

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow man...I'm very sorry to hear of this. My thoughts go out to you and your family.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thank y'all for your words of encouragement and prayers. For those that don't know, my father was in one of the best facilities for Stroke victims in the country, which also happens to be in Delaware, near my home here.

Today I will be flying with his body, back home to Plano, Texas, which is where my parent's home is, and where I grew up. There will be a Funeral Mass in Latin offered for him on Wednesday. That night we three boys will take my mother to St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands, which is where my parents have a vacation home, to spend time with my mother in the place my father loved so much. I am taking at least a week off to be with her. After that, I have a feeling I will throw myself into my work for a while, so if you don't hear from me in a while, not to worry, I just need some time to adjust and decompress, for how ever long that takes me. Until then ...

Edited by Pontiac Custom-S
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's terrible, you have our condolences. :(

I know exactly what you mean about "understanding" your

dad in your 20s. On the bright side, that's great had an

opportunity to bond w/ him as a friend in the past few years.

All the best dude.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   You have pasted content with formatting.   Remove formatting

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor